Bad Movies

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: When a motorbike gang kills an occultist, the evil spirit he was summoning inhabits a damaged bike. The bike is then bought and restored, but reveals its true nature when it tries to exact vengance on the gang, and anyone else who gets in its way. REVIEW: I’m not entirely sure my brain had completely recovered …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A rich rocket scientist organizes an expedition to the moon, which they discover is inhabited by nude women. REVIEW: After being stunned by a movie about a vampiric motorcycle, tortured by a musical from Mexico, and forced to sit through a tepid movie about a snake empowered woman, I wasn’t sure what more I would have …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Follow up to Caperucita y sus tres amigos. Caperucita, the Wolf and the Ogre are captured by the Witch Queen, accused of treason by the Vampire. Caperucita, followed by a host of old and new characters begin the adventure to rescue their friends. REVIEW: I was chatting with a friend when I mentioned another movie I …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: After being bitten by a cobra in the Philipines, Lena can turn herself into a snake and she stops aging. The curse comes with a price. The priestess Lena must consume cobra venom and vital young men to stay young. REVIEW: As I watched the batch of movies I was asked to review, my weekend had …

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: The mummy of long dormant, but powerful Caribbean voodoo priest Gatanebo gets revived on a luxury South Seas ocean liner as a big buff bald guy and proceeds to terrorize the passengers. Gatanebo beheads several folks, occasionally reverts back to his prune-faced mummified state, and falls for the ravishing Sylvia, who reminds him of his old flame …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Disappointed by its creation, the almighty being that created Man arrives on Earth in a human form and interacts with various troubled, wicked and sinful people on his journey to Vegas. REVIEW: My suspicions that the HIgh Sheriffs at this site are trying to see if they can break a person’s spirit by making them watch …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A messianic entity from the future travels to modern-day earth to wipe out 300,000,000 “bad people” and usher in a new era of peace. REVIEW: After watching Pass Thru, I was nearly catatonic. It was the third of three Neil Breen movies I had been asked to review, and I think it had caused some kind …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A computer scientist/novelist reunites with his childhood friend and hacks into government databases, while facing the dire and fateful consequences of his mystical actions obtained as a child. REVIEW: I know that when I agreed to do reviews for bad movies, I knew there would be days where I would beginning to question my life choices. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Unscrupulous archaeologists try to take advantage of an outbreak of lycanthropy prompted by the discovery of a werewolf skeleton in the Arizona desert. REVIEW: You know you’re in for a treat (to use the term loosely)  when a movie you have to review was once in an episode of the original Mystery Science Theater 3000. After …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Bound together by a desire to play “Mazes and Monsters,” Robbie and his three college classmates decide to move the board game into the local legendary cavern. REVIEW: The 1982 film Mazes and Monsters is interesting only in the sense that it is completely and utterly full of crap. An adaption of the Rona Jaffe novel …

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: “En route to a show in Singapore, a troupe of beautiful dancers are stranded on a deserted island by a plane crash. Their routine of skinny-dipping and devising new skimpy outfits is interrupted when a radioactive spider bites their manager and turns him into a wild-eyed, furry-faced monster with three fangs and a passion for strangling.” (courtesy …

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: “In a dilapidated rural mansion, the last generation of the degenerate, inbred Merrye family lives with the inherited curse of a disease that causes them to mentally regress from the age of ten-or-so on as they physically develop. The family chauffeur looks out for them and covers up their indiscretions. Trouble comes when greedy distant relatives and …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: In Molokai, two undercover drug enforcement agents are after a vicious drug kingpin, but on the way, they will also have to deal with a contaminated giant python.

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Hercules must journey in Hades itself to retrieve the magic stone that will free his love from the powers of darkness. REVIEW: When this movie started, I was surprised to see that Mario Bava was the director. I only knew of his contributions to horror cinema had influenced many other Italian directors over the years, so …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: The Swamp Thing returns to battle the evil Dr. Arcane, who has a new science lab full of creatures transformed by genetic mutation, and chooses Heather Locklear as his new object of affection. REVIEW: As some of you may know, Swamp Thing is a recurring character in DC comics. Created in the early ‘70s by Len …