Film Review: Knight of the Dead (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Hunted by raiders, a band of crusading knights escort the holy grail through a valley of black death where they must hack and slash their way to freedom. REVIEW: Knight of the Dead, honestly I would have thought that it wouldn’t have taken almost 50 years to make this bad pun into a movie. The question remains, is it going to live up the name that it so clearly ripped off, or does it … Continue reading

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Film Review: Dragon Wasps (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A scientist enlists the help of the US army to investigate the mysterious disappearance of her father, deep in the Belizean jungle. Caught in the crossfire between a brutal guerrilla army controlled by a mystical warlord, they are also confronted by an even bigger terror giant mutated wasps that are, for some reason, thirsty for blood. REVIEW: Despite the fact that the CGI ‘dragon wasps’ were incredibly lame, the acting was not so great, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Alien: Origin (2012)

Alien: Origin (2012)

SYNOPSIS: A movie created from “found footage” of a lost military expedition that exposes the origins of life on earth. REVIEW: My first thought when hearing the title “Alien: Origin” from the folks over at The Asylum I assumed it would be some sort of “Prometheus” mockbuster. Instead, I just sat through a film that ran just under ninety minutes and I feel like I just pissed away an entire day. If I didn’t have … Continue reading

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Film Review: Sand Sharks (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: An underwater earthquake cracks open a crater deep beneath the ocean’s surface unleashing a prehistoric predator. On the sleepy island of White Sands, local teens drink and party beside a beach bonfire. One of them wanders off after a pretty girl and disappears, leaving only a severed hand behind. REVIEW: Ain’t no party like a Sand Shark party cause a Sand Shark party don’t stop! Sand Sharks, this fishy little tale, I can’t help … Continue reading

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Film Review: Halloween Night (2006)

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SYNOPSIS: In this gory chiller based on real events, a teen’s Halloween bash is spoiled — but becomes eerily authentic — when lunatic Chris Vale (Scot Nery) escapes from an asylum to learn the reason behind his mother’s murder. Determined to find out the truth, Vale returns to the scene of the crime, his childhood home … which happens to be party central. The cast also includes Derek Osedach, Rebekah Kochan and Jan Anderson. REVIEW: … Continue reading

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Film Review: Battle Of Los Angeles (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: Nearly 70 years after the US military engaged an mysterious flying craft in the nighttime sky over Los Angeles, the vengeful interplanetary visitors return to settle the score in this sci-fi action adventure starring Kel Mitchell and Nia Peeples. When the invaders attempt to cripple the military by destroying our communications technology, disgraced Air Force Reserve Captain Tyler Laughlin rounds up a small squadron of determined survivors, and leads a mission to knock the … Continue reading

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