Author Archives: Nigel Honeybone

Film Review: Death Race (2008)

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SYNOPSIS: “In 2012, amid economic chaos and high unemployment, Americans by the millions watch criminals with life sentences race armored cars on Terminal Island. Two-thirds of the combatants die but the winner may earn his freedom. On the day he loses his job, steelworker Jensen Ames is arrested for his wife’s murder. Sent to Terminal Island, he’s offered an out by the steely and manipulative Warden Hennessey – race as the popular mask-wearing (but now … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Day Of The Triffids (1962)

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SYNOPSIS: “A shower of meteorites produces a glow that blinds anyone that looks at it. As it was such a beautiful sight, most people were watching, and as a consequence, 99% of the population go blind. In the original novel, this chaos results in the escape of some Triffids, experimental plants that are capable of moving themselves around and attacking people. In the film version, however, the Triffids are not experimental plants. Instead they are … Continue reading

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The Barrymores

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You know, my old friend John Barrymore was one of the most fascinating characters in film and theatre during the last century. He was son of stage actors Maurice Barrymore and Georgiana Drew Barrymore, and his siblings Ethel Barrymore and Lionel Barrymore also had extensive film careers. John made his stage debut in 1900, and quickly became a matinee idol. He entered films in 1913, thanks to the invention of the cinematograph, and although he … Continue reading

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Film Review: Crypt Of The Living Dead (1972)

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SYNOPSIS: “Two archaeologists on a scientific dig come across a vampire burial ground and discover that the creatures are about to awaken and attack a nearby village.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I have the Spanish-American co-production Crypt Of The Living Dead (1972). If the title seems a little generic, what about Vampire Woman, or Vampire Women, or even Young Hannah Queen Of The Vampires? They’re all the same film. It doesn’t even sound any … Continue reading

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Film Review: Creature From The Haunted Sea (1961)

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SYNOPSIS: “American crook Renzo Capetto sees a chance to make a bundle when a Caribbean island has a revolution. He plans to help loyalists (and the national treasury) escape on his boat, then kill the men and blame their deaths on a mythical sea monster. Trouble ensues when the real monster shows up!” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I discuss the last film in my trilogy of terror – okay, my trilogy of mild bemusement … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Corpse Vanishes (1942)

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SYNOPSIS: “Doctor Lorenz, a mad scientist, wants to keep his elderly wife young. He does this by kidnapping young females and extracting fluid from them. He then injects this fluid into his wife. What a diabolical guy!” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: The curiosity from the nether regions of the Public Domain that I’m discussing for your entertainment this week is The Corpse Vanishes (1942), an above-average film from the poverty row studio Monogram, and starring my … Continue reading

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Film Review: Chiller (1985)

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SYNOPSIS: “Corporate executive Miles Creighton dies, and is cryogenically frozen in the hopes that he can be revived. Ten years later, the procedure is a success, and Miles returns – without his soul.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Welcome To The Wooorld Of Tomorrow! as corporate executive Miles Creighton is cryogenically frozen for ten years until a suitable liver transplant is found and revive him. Unfortunately, his priest informs him his mind and body have been reanimated, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Carrie (1976)

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SYNOPSIS: “The story of Carrie White, a girl brought up, almost in isolation, by her psychotically religious mother Margaret. After an embarrassing incident in the showers causes her fellow pupils to tease Carrie ruthlessly, her teacher Miss Desjardin disciplines them severely. Determined to have revenge, the other students hatch a plot against Carrie, which turns horribly wrong when Carrie’s strange mental powers are unleashed during the school prom.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: No one is better … Continue reading

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Film Review: Carnival Of Souls (1962)

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SYNOPSIS: “Mary Henry is enjoying the day by riding around in a car with two friends. When challenged to a drag, the women accept, but are forced off of a bridge. It appears that all are drowned, until Mary, quite some time later, amazingly emerges from the river. After recovering, Mary accepts a job in a new town as a church organist, only to be dogged by a mysterious phantom figure that seems to reside … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari (1919)

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SYNOPSIS: “A horror film that surpasses all others. Alan relates the story of traveling magician Doctor Caligari and Cesare. Their arrival in a town coincides with savage killings. Secretly Caligari was an asylum director who hypnotizes Cesare to murder. But the final reel contains something which will leave an audience shattered. It blows away all your moral certainties and beliefs. This is the true power of its horror. To leave you vulnerable and uncertain of … Continue reading

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Film Review: A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

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SYNOPSIS: “Walter Paisley is a bit of a square and he very much envies the hip beatniks he sees at the club where he works as a busboy. Walter has dreams of being an artist but has no talent. He tries sculpture but has little success until he finds a unique way of capturing vivid images of a dead cat, a dying man and a sexy model. His employer soon figures out exactly what Walter … Continue reading

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Film Review: A Boy And His Dog (1975)

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SYNOPSIS: “Don Johnson plays a young man in a post-nuclear war world who has an interesting friend, a telepathic dog. The dog gives him an advantage in dealing with the barbaric world he lives in. When Johnson finds one place that has escaped the devastation of the war, he also finds some rather odd attitudes.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: A Utopia is a good place. A Dystopia is a bad place. Science fiction in the optimistic … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bloody Pit Of Horror (1965)

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SYNOPSIS: “A photographer and his models go to an old, abandoned castle to shoot some sexy covers for horror novels. Unbeknown to them, the castle is inhabited by a lunatic who believes himself to be the reincarnated spirit of a 17th-century executioner whose job it is to protect the castle against intruders.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: He was a homicidal maniac who lived to kill, they were a bunch of actors who wander into the castle … Continue reading

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Book Review: Green Shadows, White Whale – Author Ray Bradbury

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Writing about Ray Bradbury is a little like writing about the ocean – the entity is so vast you hardly know where to begin. Consider there are six billion humans on this planet, yet there is only one man, one name, that readers associate emotionally with one of the great explorations into the unknown. Back in 1987 a syndicated newspaper cartoon depicted a bleak landscape of Mars as we’ve come to know it close up, … Continue reading

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Unexplained Confidential: Real Monsters

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Mankind has always been quick to believe in monsters. They are beliefs born out of the unknown and nurtured by the unexplained. They grow out of the dark recesses of the human mind, where shapes and forms often bear no relationship to reality. Monsters are part of our mythological history. They appear in all cultures, past and present, from multi-headed monsters, dog-men, and the Cyclops of Greek mythology to today’s Ufiti, a ghost-ogre said to … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Bat (1959)

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SYNOPSIS: “Mystery writer Cornelia Van Gorder has rented a country house called The Oaks which, not long ago, had been the scene of some murders committed by a strange and violent criminal known as The Bat. Meanwhile, the owner of the house, bank president John Fleming, has recently embezzled one million dollars in securities, and has hidden the proceeds in the house, but he is killed before he can retrieve the money. Thus the lonely … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bad Taste (1987)

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SYNOPSIS: “Derek and his friends must investigate the missing people in a small village. Then they find out its human formed aliens that are really big headed monsters that used all the people in the small village into there snack burgers. Now, Derek must save the day and the world with his chainsaw before the meat eaters strikes the whole planet. Will Derek kill all the aliens?” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I have a … Continue reading

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Film Review: Back To The Future (1985)

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SYNOPSIS: “Marty McFly, a typical American teenager of the Eighties, is accidentally sent back to 1955 in a plutonium-powered DeLorean time machine invented by slightly mad scientist. During his often hysterical, always amazing trip back in time, Marty must make certain his teenage parents-to-be meet and fall in love – so he can get back to the future.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: In September of 1980, filmmakers Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale collaborated on a script … Continue reading

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Film Review: Attack Of The Crab Monsters (1957)

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SYNOPSIS: “A group of scientists travel to a remote island to study the effects of nuclear weapons tests, only to get stranded when their airplane explodes. The team soon discovers that the island has been taken over by crabs that have mutated into enormous, intelligent monsters. To add to their problems, the island is slowly sinking into the ocean. Will any of them manage to escape?” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I discuss for your … Continue reading

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Film Review: American Psycho (2000)

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SYNOPSIS: “Patrick Bateman is handsome, well educated and intelligent. He is twenty-seven and living his own American dream. He works by day on Wall Street, earning a fortune to complement the one he was born with. At night he descends into madness, as he experiments with fear and violence.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Controversial as it may be, this tale of a Wall Street high-flyer by day, loony killer by night, contains less violence than one … Continue reading

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Film Review: All The Kind Strangers (1974)

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SYNOPSIS: “A couple traveling through a backwoods area are held by a a group of orphans who want them to become their parents. Unfortunately, the kids have a habit of killing adults who refuse that particular honor.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I’m discussing something a little different. No, not a good film, you’ve already had that chance. No, this week’s film is another in that peculiar genre, the made-for-television movie, as opposed to the … Continue reading

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About Nigel Honeybone

Wee Willie"Nigel Honeybone's debut was as Hamlet's dead father, portraying him as a tall posh skeleton. This triumph was followed in Richard III, as the remains of a young prince which he interpreted as a tall posh skeleton. He began attracting starring roles. Henry VIII was scaled down to suit Honeybone's very personalised view of this famous king. Honeybone suggested that perhaps he really was quite skeletal, quite tall, and quite posh. MacBeth, Shylock and Othello followed, all played as tall, skeletal and posh, respectively. Considering his reputation for playing tall English skeletons, many believed that the real Honeybone inside to be something very different, like a squat hunchback perhaps. Interestingly enough, Honeybone did once play a squat hunchback, but it was as a tall posh skeleton. But he was propelled into the film world when, in Psycho (1960), he wore women's clothing for the very first time. The seed of an idea was planted and, after working with director Ed Wood for five years, he realised the unlimited possibilities of tall posh skeletons who dressed in women's clothing. He went on to wear women's clothing in thirteen major motion pictures, including the Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Star Wars (1977), heartbreaking as the remains of Aunt Beru. With the onslaught of special effects came the demise of real actors in these sorts of roles. After modeling for CGI skeletons in Total Recall (1990) and Toys (1992), the only possible step forward for a tall posh skeleton was television, imparting his knowledge and expertise of the arts. As well as writing for the world's best genre news website HORROR NEWS, Nigel Honeybone is currently signed to star in a new series for television presenting the finest examples of B-grade horror. THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW is seen on Friday nights at 10.30pm on TVS Television Sydney, and where ever good Youtube downloads are available." (Fantales candy wrapper circa 2007)