Author Archives: Nigel Honeybone

Film Review: The Double-D Avenger (2001)

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SYNOPSIS: “Three of the biggest and bustiest Russ Meyer stars make a comeback in The Double-D Avenger, the first in a series of sexy action-comedy feature films by William Winckler Productions. Big, busty Chastity Knott must use her new amazing abilities as the super-stacked costumed crime fighter to stop villainous bikini bar owner Al Purplewood and his sexy, murderous strippers.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Boy, are you in for a real treat this week! The 2001 … Continue reading

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Dino De Laurentiis

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Dino De Laurentiis is something of an enigmatic figure in film-making. Generally dismissed as a philistine, insolently nicknamed Dino De Dum-Dum by a British cinema magazine, he has nevertheless been described by director David Cronenberg (who is nobody’s ‘yes-man’) as “A very interesting man, one of the last of the old-style moguls. It’s pretty exhilarating working with him, because he obviously loves to solve problems. There’s a great deal of energy and dynamics going on … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Devil’s Rain (1975)

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SYNOPSIS: “A bunch of Satanists in the American rural landscape have terrible powers which enable them to melt their victims. However one of the children of an earlier victim vows to destroy them.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Mark Preston (William Shatner) and his parents live in the desert and one rainy night some unexpected company stops by. Jonathan Corbis (Ernest Borgnine), the Devil’s messenger, takes Mark’s mother (his father was killed) which results in Mark chasing … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Devil Bat (1940)

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SYNOPSIS: “Doctor Carruthers feels bitter at being betrayed by his employers, Heath and Morton, when they became rich as a result of a product he devised. He gains revenge by electrically enlarging bats and sending them out to kill his employer’s family members by instilling in the bats a hatred for a particular perfume he has discovered, which he gets his victims to apply before going outdoors. Johnny Layton, a reporter, finally figures out Carruthers … Continue reading

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Film Review: Destroy All Planets (1968)

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SYNOPSIS: “A group of aliens from another planet head for Earth with the intentions of conquering it. Their first ship is destroyed in transit by the giant flying turtle Gamera. A second ship makes it to Earth and captures two Boy Scouts and holds them captive so that Gamera will not attack them. The aliens then implant a remote control device into the monster’s neck and use the great turtle to attack Tokyo. The boys … Continue reading

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Film Review: Dementia 13 (1963)

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SYNOPSIS: “John Haloran has a fatal heart attack, but his wife Louise won’t get any of the inheritance when Lady Haloran dies if John is dead. Louise forges a letter from John to convince the rest of his family he’s been called to New York on important business, and goes to his Irish ancestral home, Castle Haloran, to meet the family and look for a way to ensure a cut of the loot. Seven years … Continue reading

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Film Review: Death Race (2008)

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SYNOPSIS: “In 2012, amid economic chaos and high unemployment, Americans by the millions watch criminals with life sentences race armored cars on Terminal Island. Two-thirds of the combatants die but the winner may earn his freedom. On the day he loses his job, steelworker Jensen Ames is arrested for his wife’s murder. Sent to Terminal Island, he’s offered an out by the steely and manipulative Warden Hennessey – race as the popular mask-wearing (but now … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Day Of The Triffids (1962)

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SYNOPSIS: “A shower of meteorites produces a glow that blinds anyone that looks at it. As it was such a beautiful sight, most people were watching, and as a consequence, 99% of the population go blind. In the original novel, this chaos results in the escape of some Triffids, experimental plants that are capable of moving themselves around and attacking people. In the film version, however, the Triffids are not experimental plants. Instead they are … Continue reading

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The Barrymores

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You know, my old friend John Barrymore was one of the most fascinating characters in film and theatre during the last century. He was son of stage actors Maurice Barrymore and Georgiana Drew Barrymore, and his siblings Ethel Barrymore and Lionel Barrymore also had extensive film careers. John made his stage debut in 1900, and quickly became a matinee idol. He entered films in 1913, thanks to the invention of the cinematograph, and although he … Continue reading

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Film Review: Crypt Of The Living Dead (1972)

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SYNOPSIS: “Two archaeologists on a scientific dig come across a vampire burial ground and discover that the creatures are about to awaken and attack a nearby village.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I have the Spanish-American co-production Crypt Of The Living Dead (1972). If the title seems a little generic, what about Vampire Woman, or Vampire Women, or even Young Hannah Queen Of The Vampires? They’re all the same film. It doesn’t even sound any … Continue reading

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Film Review: Creature From The Haunted Sea (1961)

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SYNOPSIS: “American crook Renzo Capetto sees a chance to make a bundle when a Caribbean island has a revolution. He plans to help loyalists (and the national treasury) escape on his boat, then kill the men and blame their deaths on a mythical sea monster. Trouble ensues when the real monster shows up!” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: This week I discuss the last film in my trilogy of terror – okay, my trilogy of mild bemusement … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Corpse Vanishes (1942)

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SYNOPSIS: “Doctor Lorenz, a mad scientist, wants to keep his elderly wife young. He does this by kidnapping young females and extracting fluid from them. He then injects this fluid into his wife. What a diabolical guy!” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: The curiosity from the nether regions of the Public Domain that I’m discussing for your entertainment this week is The Corpse Vanishes (1942), an above-average film from the poverty row studio Monogram, and starring my … Continue reading

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Film Review: Chiller (1985)

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SYNOPSIS: “Corporate executive Miles Creighton dies, and is cryogenically frozen in the hopes that he can be revived. Ten years later, the procedure is a success, and Miles returns – without his soul.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Welcome To The Wooorld Of Tomorrow! as corporate executive Miles Creighton is cryogenically frozen for ten years until a suitable liver transplant is found and revive him. Unfortunately, his priest informs him his mind and body have been reanimated, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Carrie (1976)

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SYNOPSIS: “The story of Carrie White, a girl brought up, almost in isolation, by her psychotically religious mother Margaret. After an embarrassing incident in the showers causes her fellow pupils to tease Carrie ruthlessly, her teacher Miss Desjardin disciplines them severely. Determined to have revenge, the other students hatch a plot against Carrie, which turns horribly wrong when Carrie’s strange mental powers are unleashed during the school prom.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: No one is better … Continue reading

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Film Review: Carnival Of Souls (1962)

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SYNOPSIS: “Mary Henry is enjoying the day by riding around in a car with two friends. When challenged to a drag, the women accept, but are forced off of a bridge. It appears that all are drowned, until Mary, quite some time later, amazingly emerges from the river. After recovering, Mary accepts a job in a new town as a church organist, only to be dogged by a mysterious phantom figure that seems to reside … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Cabinet Of Doctor Caligari (1919)

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SYNOPSIS: “A horror film that surpasses all others. Alan relates the story of traveling magician Doctor Caligari and Cesare. Their arrival in a town coincides with savage killings. Secretly Caligari was an asylum director who hypnotizes Cesare to murder. But the final reel contains something which will leave an audience shattered. It blows away all your moral certainties and beliefs. This is the true power of its horror. To leave you vulnerable and uncertain of … Continue reading

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Film Review: A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

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SYNOPSIS: “Walter Paisley is a bit of a square and he very much envies the hip beatniks he sees at the club where he works as a busboy. Walter has dreams of being an artist but has no talent. He tries sculpture but has little success until he finds a unique way of capturing vivid images of a dead cat, a dying man and a sexy model. His employer soon figures out exactly what Walter … Continue reading

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Film Review: A Boy And His Dog (1975)

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SYNOPSIS: “Don Johnson plays a young man in a post-nuclear war world who has an interesting friend, a telepathic dog. The dog gives him an advantage in dealing with the barbaric world he lives in. When Johnson finds one place that has escaped the devastation of the war, he also finds some rather odd attitudes.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: A Utopia is a good place. A Dystopia is a bad place. Science fiction in the optimistic … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bloody Pit Of Horror (1965)

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SYNOPSIS: “A photographer and his models go to an old, abandoned castle to shoot some sexy covers for horror novels. Unbeknown to them, the castle is inhabited by a lunatic who believes himself to be the reincarnated spirit of a 17th-century executioner whose job it is to protect the castle against intruders.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: He was a homicidal maniac who lived to kill, they were a bunch of actors who wander into the castle … Continue reading

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Book Review: Green Shadows, White Whale – Author Ray Bradbury

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Writing about Ray Bradbury is a little like writing about the ocean – the entity is so vast you hardly know where to begin. Consider there are six billion humans on this planet, yet there is only one man, one name, that readers associate emotionally with one of the great explorations into the unknown. Back in 1987 a syndicated newspaper cartoon depicted a bleak landscape of Mars as we’ve come to know it close up, … Continue reading

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Unexplained Confidential: Real Monsters

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Mankind has always been quick to believe in monsters. They are beliefs born out of the unknown and nurtured by the unexplained. They grow out of the dark recesses of the human mind, where shapes and forms often bear no relationship to reality. Monsters are part of our mythological history. They appear in all cultures, past and present, from multi-headed monsters, dog-men, and the Cyclops of Greek mythology to today’s Ufiti, a ghost-ogre said to … Continue reading

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About Nigel Honeybone

Wee Willie"Nigel Honeybone's debut was as Hamlet's dead father, portraying him as a tall posh skeleton. This triumph was followed in Richard III, as the remains of a young prince which he interpreted as a tall posh skeleton. He began attracting starring roles. Henry VIII was scaled down to suit Honeybone's very personalised view of this famous king. Honeybone suggested that perhaps he really was quite skeletal, quite tall, and quite posh. MacBeth, Shylock and Othello followed, all played as tall, skeletal and posh, respectively. Considering his reputation for playing tall English skeletons, many believed that the real Honeybone inside to be something very different, like a squat hunchback perhaps. Interestingly enough, Honeybone did once play a squat hunchback, but it was as a tall posh skeleton. But he was propelled into the film world when, in Psycho (1960), he wore women's clothing for the very first time. The seed of an idea was planted and, after working with director Ed Wood for five years, he realised the unlimited possibilities of tall posh skeletons who dressed in women's clothing. He went on to wear women's clothing in thirteen major motion pictures, including the Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Star Wars (1977), heartbreaking as the remains of Aunt Beru. With the onslaught of special effects came the demise of real actors in these sorts of roles. After modeling for CGI skeletons in Total Recall (1990) and Toys (1992), the only possible step forward for a tall posh skeleton was television, imparting his knowledge and expertise of the arts. As well as writing for the world's best genre news website HORROR NEWS, Nigel Honeybone is currently signed to star in a new series for television presenting the finest examples of B-grade horror. THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW is seen on Friday nights at 10.30pm on TVS Television Sydney, and where ever good Youtube downloads are available." (Fantales candy wrapper circa 2007)