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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Mulberry Street (2006)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A mysterious virus creates pandemonium as it spreads through the Big Apple in this eerie creature feature that gives new meaning to the term rat race. On a scorching day in Manhattan, the denizens of a tumbledown tenement on Mulberry Street grouse about the heat, but as night falls, they find themselves battling a horde of …

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Film Review: Demon (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: FBI Special Agent Nicole Diaz is sent to the town of Oro Negro to solve several bizarre murders. At first, it’s thought the killings are random acts committed by smugglers or drug dealers until the Tribal Ranger realizes the bodies have been drained of blood and suspects it is something more. REVIEW: I would much rather deal …

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Film Review: The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: An anthropologist goes to Haiti after hearing rumors about a drug used by black magic practitioners to turn people into zombies. REVIEW: Wade Davis, a Harvard-educated anthropologist, traveled to Haiti in the early eighties to research the Vodou religion and its practices.  His specific focus was concentrated on zombies, and the assortment of ingredients utilized in creating the poisonous …

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Film Review: Sawney: Flesh Of Man (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Religious psychopath Sawney stalks Scotland abducting unholy souls for his communion of sacrifices. With his insane family of inbred killers they rape, torture and eat their victims saving the best morsels for a shadowy chained-up figure in their cavernous Highlands lair. As the Missing Persons list rises, investigative crime journalist Hamish MacDonald writes sensational and damming …

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Film Review: Jug Face (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A teen, pregnant with her brother’s child, is trying to escape from a backwoods community when she discovers that she must sacrifice herself to a creature in a pit. REVIEW: Any horror film that connects with its viewer on a personal level is an anomaly in its basic priorities.  So often in the writing process, the …

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Film Review: Lyle (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A mother’s grief over the death of her toddler leads to horror. REVIEW: It may ruffle feathers, but I’ve never been able to get into “Rosemary’s Baby.”  Though I enjoy Ira Levin‘s novel and appreciate Roman Polanski’s artful interpretation (we’ll pretend this year’s made-for-television debacle never happened), that nagging sensation of being bored to tears still …

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Film Review: 7500 (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Passengers aboard a flight across the Pacific Ocean encounter a supernatural force. REVIEW: “Ghosts on a Plane.” Aware of only a vague plot synopsis before firing up our latest, it took about halfway in for that humorous alternate title to pop into my melon. Once there, it refused to leave. My apologies to anyone I’ve doomed to …

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Film Review: Zodiac (2007)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A San Francisco cartoonist becomes an amateur detective obsessed with tracking down the Zodiac killer. REVIEW: We’ve all seen the title card before.  Looming ominously on the silver screen, rarely ever a harbinger of the latest feel-good romcom.  In fact, “Based on a true story” (or some interchangeable variation) is usually an indication that there will be murder …

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Film Review: Armistice (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A Royal Marine awakens to find himself imprisoned and forced to fight to the death against inhuman opponents again and again. REVIEW: War is Hell.  For yours truly, being fortunate enough to never have encountered firsthand what the term “war” encompasses, it took merely my 8th grade English required reading list to bring to light that …

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Film Review: The Evil Inside (2011)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Sarah, a mentally-disturbed teen, has a jarring premonition of her friends’ impending deaths one night at a sleepover. As her house guests begin to turn murderously against each other, Sarah must determine whether her visions represent the preventable or the inevitable… or something entirely more sinister REVIEW: I am at a loss.  I cannot bring myself to …

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Film Review: Antisocial (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Five university friends gather at a house party to ring in the New Year. Unbeknownst to them, an epidemic has erupted outside, causing outbreaks around the world. REVIEW: I’ve said it  before.  One would be damning 97% of all horror films in existence if a lack of original content alone was enough to warrant unfavorable judgement.  …

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