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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind (2011)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Teens are slaughtered by a deranged killer in a pig mask. REVIEW: This sequel to 2010’s splatterfest “Porkchop” was released overseas under the much more lyrical title of “Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind“, I suspect to avoid confusing the more discerning slasher fanatic. No moniker applied, no matter how alliterative, however, can change this one …

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Film Review: Deep in the Darkness (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Dr. Michael Cayle thought leaving the chaotic lifestyle of New York City behind for the quiet, small town of Ashborough would bring his family closer together. Soon after arriving, however, he discovers the town’s deepest secret: a terrifying and controlling race of creatures that live amongst the darkness in the woods behind his home. REVIEW: In the …

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Film Review: Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Sequel follows Jim Bickerman, a poacher who discovers that his local lake is inhabited by man-eating crocodiles. REVIEW: Were it not for my gig here at our happy home that is HorrorNews and the immortality it affords my inconsequential opinions, the drunken late-night Facebook conversation I’d have with my buddy Timmy concerning “Lake Placid: The Final Chapter” would most likely …

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Film Review: The Crone (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: The Crone is part of a Japanese horror project which also includes Norio Tsuruta’s Talk to the Dead and Koji Shiraishi’s Cult. Ayane, Nanami, and Mayuko are members of a new 3-member idol group called “Jersey Girl”. One day they’re invited to appear on a television show about the paranormal where they’ll visit an abandoned nursing …

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Film Review: Honeymoon (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A newlywed couple finds their lake-country honeymoon descend into chaos after Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of their first night. REVIEW: How well does one truly know a significant other?  Is the length of a courtship through engagement and the exchanging of vows an ample amount of time to base the remainder …

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Film Review: Asmodexia (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Five days in the lives of an exorcist (Eloy Palma) and his granddaughter (Alba), working in the Barcelona area. REVIEW: Swiftly becoming oversaturated as of late, the exorcism film is threatening to encroach upon slasher and zombie territories.  Though a nearly impossible feat to reach the sheer amount of entries both subgenres have achieved, it remains a …

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Film Review: Slaughter Daughter (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A former beauty queen plots the death of her overbearing mother with the help of her pen-pal, a serial killer on death row. REVIEW: The resurgence of exploitation cinema has been met with mixed emotions and certainly mixed reviews.  From Grindhouse releases to the lesser-known (and in this humble opinion, better) works of Richard Griffin and …

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Film Review: Prometheus Trap (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: In the future, man’s quest for answers will take him to the edge of the universe. But the knowledge they seek, should never be known. REVIEW: Venturing into “Prometheus Trap” completely blind and with zero point of reference, I found myself a little more at ease than if I’d had the opportunity this past summer to experience Ridley Scott’s …

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Film Review: Phobia (2013)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: In 1885, a female doctor helping a group of people with their phobias becomes embroiled in a murder mystery surrounding a patient that may or may not be a vampire. REVIEW: Remember when vampires were feared more than fantasized about?  Though the resurgence of our fanged friends has been a welcome one amidst the relentless onslaught of …

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Film Review: Jug Face (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A teen, pregnant with her brother’s child, is trying to escape from a backwoods community when she discovers that she must sacrifice herself to a creature in a pit. REVIEW: Any horror film that connects with its viewer on a personal level is an anomaly in its basic priorities.  So often in the writing process, the …

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Film Review: President Wolfman (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: The President of the United States has been bitten by a werewolf and is loose on the streets of Washington on a killing rampage! This comedy/horror/political satire is also a ‘green movie,’ created entirely out of recycled stock and public domain film footage culled from over one hundred grainy government instructional shorts, classroom education movies, vintage …

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Film Review: My Pure Joy (2011)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: On the outside Adam appears to be a normal teenager, but underneath…his mind has been so rotted by trauma from his past and the gory films he watches, that he has blurred the lines between reality and pretend! This prompts Adam to start killing people in similar ways to films he watches, making sure to put …

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Film Review: Ooga Booga (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Ooga Booga follows an innocent African American boy who is brutally murdered by dirty cops, but his soul is magically transferred into an action figure named Ooga Booga. With on his tribal spear and old girlfriend to help he takes to the streets and trailer parks to find the men that ended his once bright future. …

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