Book Review: How to Survive a Horror Movie – Author Seth Grahame-Smith

HOW TO SURVIVE A HORROR MOVIE: ALL THE SKILLS TO DODGE THE KILLS (PAPERBACK)
Written by Seth Grahame-Smith (Author), Wes Craven (Foreword)
Illustrations by Nathan Fox
Published by Quirk Books
Publication Date: 2007
Format: 2 color – 176 pages
Price: $14.95 

So your not only reading about horror movies, but now you are in one! What do you do? Do you even know the first thing about surviving one? How can you even tell your “in” one? This is just a taste of the horror book survival guide written by author Seth Grahame-Smith. The title of course “How to survive a horror Movie”. Even our good friend Wes Craven dropped by to shed a few words for interested readers. After all, he did make attempts educating all us in his “Scream” outings…

Though it appears by the slew of new films I’ve recently seen, that the actors didn’t bother reading this manual… Why? cause they are all dead!!!!

Come with us as we suspend disbelief for a moment and imagine we are in the thicket of a horror film. Of course if you are not savvy like our author, then you’ll need this guide! Both funny, and educational, Seth gives it to us straight. All the goods we need to know and recognize our current film state situation.

Hey, you never know, when you sleep at night this info might just keep you from waking up in a cold sweat. Fantastic illustration help you on your journey. With artwork by Nathan Fox, we are guided along with great comic book art pieces throughout. The design is kept simple and easy to follow. With red, gray and white pages….. titles are easy to find, and paragraphs are sectioned off per numbers and categories. Though when your in a horror film you many not have time to look in the index so this is a plus!!!! To give you a taste, we have sections that range across the board on horror film surviva.l To name a few:

– How do I know if I’m in a horror movie?
– How to survive horror movie high school
– How to stay awake for a week?
– How to defeat Satan?
– How do you know if there are snakes in your plane?

Yes, and so much more. A commentary and instruction manual like this only comes from one true fact. Seth has seen alot of film and was kind enough to take notes for all us viewers. You’ll find yourself, slapping your head forward with a big…”of course” and subliminally taking in the words of a master horror elder. Hey let’s not forget, this stuff is hilarious. Reality usually is…!!

So you not convinced yet?? OK, here is something to wet your appetite:
“Confirmation that you “are” in a haunted house??
– Does the faucets or shower heads bleed?
– Did the previous owners die per suicide or murder?
– Does the furniture re-arrange itself when you “aren’t looking?
– When you reach in the fridge does you arm appear in another part of the house?
– Are there civil-war era children playing in your house?
– Does the house issue verbal or written warnings?
– Does the temperature plummet when discussing remodeling?
– Do you feel more compelled to murder your family with an axe than usual?
– Does your house contain any candelabras?

Gee, I bet the Lutzes family could of benefited from this (Amityville Horror) Seth has provided all the goods for every situation… babysitting, alien invasions, cemetery survival, projects of Evil, zombie attacks, career choices, possession or things possessed, a cornfield with children in it or even how to perform an exorcism. Which in fact with the uprising of possession films might be a good thing to just “know” Ok, Seth, I’ve got a new one to add to the updated version (or maybe I just missed it)…What to do with haunted or possessed “mirrors”. Or mirrors that have supernatural portals…. See the horror fan is always thinking!

This is a really cool book! I consider this the ultimate Christmas gift to horror lovers that you want to give the gift that keeps on giving. Seth has a lot of fun with it and keeps “you” the consumer in the “know”. Great for parties, great for family get together’s, great for quizzing your obnoxious horror friends who seem to know it all….. yep get em where it hurts. Every library deserves a little comedy, “How to survive a Horror movie” how is that remedy!

Available at Quirk Books