Film Reviews

SYNOPSIS: A small construction crew on an island is terrorized when some strange spirit-like being takes over a large bulldozer, and goes on a killing rampage. REVIEW: If memory serves me correctly, the 1970s brought us many nature runs amok movies. Jaws, Piranha, Gator, and Grizzly are all examples of movies that were trying to show us that the nature …

SYNOPSIS: Five teenagers embark on a boating trip off the coast of Florida. The teens get hopelessly lost at sea after they get caught in a fierce storm. Fortunately, the quintet stumble across an abandoned yacht in the middle of the ocean with a mysterious biology lab on board it. Unfortunately, there are also ferocious mutated prehistoric fish running amok …

SYNOPSIS: In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers. A real Space Opera with sword fights, explosions, fighting robots, monsters, bar fights and time warps. REVIEW: I first saw Ice Pirates …

  SYNOPSIS: An edgy action thriller set in Las Vegas during a terrorist attack. A brilliant computer loner takes control of the city and the attack as he fights with his fits of overwhelming depression and obsessions with love and death. REVIEW: Today’s journey into the B grade cinema jungle is brought to us by one Neil Breen. A Las …

SYNOPSIS: A Rich Heiress Receive a Third Butlerdroid for Her Birthday in Which She Begins Lusting After Him REVIEW: I’m a sucker for stories about robots. Whether it’s an android that longs to be human, or a computer that realizes its superiority to its creator, there is something about artificial intelligence that is immediately sympathetic and fascinating. It can be …

SYNOPSIS: Yosuke, a typical slacker kid dozing his way through school, showing nothing in the way of ambition as he quietly mulls over the death of a close friend the year before. He is clever enough and full of smart comments but just doesn’t seem to see the point of much in life. That changes when he meets Eri by …

SYNOPSIS: After a nuclear war, the survivors are divided between horribly mutated beings who live on desolate reservations and fertile women who are searching for scarce virile men in order to multiply and start a new human society. REVIEW: Oh, Roddy Piper. You might not have been the hero we wanted, but you were the hero we needed. Okay, that’s …

SYNOPSIS: Sword and sorcery story of the cosmic struggle between white magic and black magic. REVIEW: When I saw the name Sorceress on the list of movies I had to review, I was excited at first until I saw that it was the 1982 movie and not the one from the 1990s. While the latter one is not considered a …

SYNOPSIS: Low-budget film about a young man given a mystical medallion by an Aztec shaman, in order to become a puma-empowered champion like his father before him. In trying to initially locate the young man, the shaman has the nasty habit of pushing candidates out of windows to test them (“Nope, not him.”) REVIEW: Pumaman was an Italian superhero flick …

SYNOPSIS: Aliens land in the town of “Speelburgh” searching for the source of rock & roll. They find trouble with Dee Dee, Frankie and the pack. REVIEW: Holy crap. That was the only response I could think of after the ending credits to Voyage of the Rock Aliens played. Just a few weeks ago, if you tried to describe this …

SYNOPSIS: An orphaned baby adopted by wolves grows up and becomes a talented martial artist who swears revenge on her parents’ killer. REVIEW: Wolf Devil Woman (1982) is a Taiwanese fantasy-horror (and, I would argue, attempted comedy) film starring, penned, and directed by Pearl Cheung Ling, an actress well-known for her work in martial arts films in the 1970s and …

SYNOPSIS: A teenager called Noriko Shimabara runs away from her family in Tokoyama, to meet Kumiko, the leader of an Internet BBS, Haikyo.com. She becomes involved with Kumiko’s “family circle”, which grows darker after the mass suicide of 54 high school girls.

SYNOPSIS: Deathstalker helps Reena the Seer out of a few jams, and she solicits his help for a bigger task. She reveals that she is actually Princess Evie, but the evil sorcerer had her abducted and cloned in order to seize control of the kingdom. Together they travel to the evil sorcerer’s stronghold to restore the princess to her rightful …

SYNOPSIS: Joe Huff is a tough, go-it-alone cop with a flair for infiltrating dangerous biker gangs. The FBI blackmail Joe into an undercover operation to convict some extremely violent bikers, who are angry at the capture of their leader.

SYNOPSIS: The spirit of an ancient evil queen posesses the body of a young anthropological student, who then goes on a murderous rampage. REVIEW: I just realized that I owe kind of an apology to some of the other movies I’ve reviewed, like Star Crash and Message from Space. I had called those movies ripoffs, and they were, but they …