Film Reviews

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A xxx website by the name Lucky Bastard awards eager fans with the possibility of being in a sex scene with their favourite P*rn star. After Ashley Saint has performed in virtually every subgenre of smut her next step seems logical to make one of her adoring fan’s fantasy a reality. When Dave registers on the …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A group of occultists bring a vicious killer back from the dead. A copycat killer follows in his footsteps, so now they have two killers on the loose. REVIEW: Oh Germany, you and your silly, silly horror movies. The two previous films in the Knochenwald Trilogy were about a deranged, supernatural killer in a gas mask, who …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A young boy is haunted by a demonic apparition. REVIEW: There are so many good things to say about Father. First of all, the boy who plays Danny is brilliant. I find I’m often pretty critical of kid actors but, although Rodin Kilinc doesn’t have much experience under his belt, his performance is completely compelling. Near …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: An ex-Special Forces soldier gets thrown back to medieval times to fulfill an ancient prophecy and ends up finding redemption for his own battlefield experiences. REVIEW: I’m going to come right out and say it. I have no shame in saying that I enjoy watching Uwe Boll films. I think that the label he has received …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Traveling beyond death to rescue his love, Beatrice, from evil Lucifer, Dante enters the nine circles of hell, battling the vicious demons and monsters he encounters in this spectacular animated retelling of Dante Alighieri’s classic morality tale. A companion to EA’s video game, the action-packed medieval journey features the voices of Mark Hamill, Victoria Tennant, Vanessa …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A family moves into a long-condemned New England household with a big pond out back that everybody loves to swim in. Soon, however, they find that the pond was the site of the execution- by-drowning of a witch three hundred years before, and she’s back to revenge herself on anybody nearby, whether they’re Catholic or not. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A psychic’s girlfriend finds out that a lump on her back is a growing reincarnation of a 400 year-old demonic Native American spirit. REVIEW: Oh yeah…Now we’re talking movie greatness acolytes! What’s that you say? You’ve never even heard of this movie before? If you’re one of the few that are actually admitting to that then …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Set ten years after an apocalyptic event that killed millions and left the world inhabited by ghosts. REVIEW: Each of us has dealt with grief at one time or another and in varying degrees. Singular or multiple and, on occasion, all at once. In each instance, a staggering blow to both mind and body for even …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Female police psychologist is targeted by a supernatural devil-worshiping serial killer who wants to prove to her that she’s the Antichrist. A tough cop, his inept womanizing comic relief partner and a reverend try to stop him. REVIEW: Satan Returns is a 1996 Hong Kong action horror by the director Wai-Lun Lam. It’s a very uneven …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A man gradually transforms into a robotic, metal-encrusted monster. REVIEW: More short films, kiddies! And I’m really excited about this one. Today we have Futsû saizu no kaijin (The Phantom of Regular Size), a film from 1986 written and directed by Shin’ya Tsukamoto. Some of you out there may recognize the director’s name. That’s because he …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Karen has been tormented by a creature that regularly manifests in her bedroom. Out of fear, she keeps these encounters to herself. Until the nightmare becomes all too real and, with no other choice, she must confront the unwelcome visitor. REVIEW: More short films, kiddies! Today we have THE NIGHTMARE, written and directed by Christian D. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Otavio and Gilda are a very wealthy couple of the Brazilian elite who have the habit of eating their employees. Otavio owns a private security company and is a notable member of The Cannibal Club. When Gilda accidentally discovers a secret from Borges, a powerful congressman and the Club’s leader, her and her husband’s lives are …

Rate This Movie REVIEW: In 2005 the directors Yudai Yamaguchi and Jun’ichi Yamamoto came together create a film called Meatball Machine. Based on Yamamoto’s earlier work from 1999, it’s an aggressive cyberpunk, sci-fi/horror-hybrid romp about alien parasites turning their hosts unto slave “Necroborgs”. It was a breakthrough film for the special effect’s wizard Yoshihiro Nishimura, who would later on go …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: An unsuspecting man gets involved in a satanic blood orgy. REVIEW: Fatal is the most recent short film put together by Astaroth Productions. A quick scan of the credits will find many of the usual suspects at work here: directed by Larissa Anzoategui, written by Ramiro Giroldo, and cinematography by Anzoategui and Pedro Rosa – these …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Years after mistreating a bullied teenager in middle school a group of friends become the target of someone looking for some bloody revenge. Is the person responsible the guy they made fun of all those years ago or is someone else the culprit? REVIEW: I saw Valentine in a theater on opening night back in 2001 …