Author Archives: Mary Parker

Top 13 Weird Weapons in Horror Films

Posted on 08/31/2011 by Mary Parker

Joey Danikan: you are amazing. Thank you for this idea. I owe you one.

1. Pogo stick—Leprechaun (1993)
“Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won’t live through the night.”
So says the leprechaun at the heart of this franchise. Let’s just forget about the sequels, which turned to drivel by the time Back 2 tha Hood came around. The first film was pretty good though. And I… More

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Top 13 Greatest Serial Killer Movies

Posted on 07/10/2011 by Mary Parker

13. Time After Time (1979)
This movie makes the list even though it isn’t really a horror movie. It isn’t scary at all, actually, but the plot, while a bit cheesy at times, also contains a bit of genius, including its star Malcolm McDowell. Here’s the deal: the notion of a serial killer is not a modern one. Jack the Ripper, while arguably the most famous serial killer, is not modern either. The aim of… More

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Top 13 finest Bruce Campbell moments

Posted on 07/05/2011 by Mary Parker

It would be useless to try and rank Bruce Campbell’s films for two reasons: 1) There’d be whiners commenting about the merits of each of the Evil Dead films and why they should each be number one, and 2) You can’t quantify that much greatness. As such, even though I numbered them, this list is really in no particular order.

13. From Dusk Till Dawn II: Texas Blood Money (1999)
The best part of this… More

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13 Greatest Horror Homages in Tv Series ‘Spaced’

Posted on 05/27/2011 by Mary Parker

I’ve been thinking lately about in-references within horror movies (you know, like how in Evil Dead there’s a ripped poster for The Hills Have Eyes in the cellar and in A Nightmare on Elm St. Nancy watches Evil Dead to try and stay awake). One of the people whose referential talents cannot be matched is Edgar Wright, co-writer/director of Shaun of the Dead and, most recently, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. His first widely-acclaimed project,… More

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13 Greatest Horror Movies of the ‘40’s and ‘50’s

Posted on 05/14/2011 by Mary Parker

13. I Walked with a Zombie (1943)
This movie is basically Jane Eyre in the West Indies with a touch of voodoo thrown in and it relies mostly on merging the dichotomies it spent so long building up: voodoo/Christian, black/white, dead/alive, magic/science. This sense of ambiguity is the only unsettling force in a too-literal plot and otherwise tame film.

12. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Yes, the remake is better (two words, one amazing… More

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Top 13 Most Un-Horror Moments in Horror Films

Posted on 04/19/2011 by Mary Parker

13. It (1990)
It is a scary movie, but only because of Tim Curry. Plus, clowns are scary. Other things that are scary: blood coming up from your drain, phantom balloons that pop and spray blood everywhere, pictures that come alive, and people who live in sewers. This miniseries has all of these. The least scary part? The ending. Talk about a letdown. The clown that’s given us nightmares transforms into a terrible stop-motion… More

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Top 13 Modern Vampire Films

Posted on 02/08/2011 by Mary Parker

30 Days of Night (2007)
“There is no escape. No hope. Only hunger and pain.” Such is the state of the beast, and, fundamentally, vampires are beasts. Even Count Dracula, when he first appeared to the public, was a decrepit creature, not the suave nobleman we know and love today. 30 Days of Night is one of the best vampire films ever because it doesn’t flinch away from this fact. That arial shot showing the pure carnage of vampires vs. prey… More

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Top 13 Great Horror Movies that start with D

Posted on 02/04/2011 by Mary Parker

1. Dog Soldiers (2002)
This is most definitely one the best modern werewolf movies. Even though the werewolves remind me of the ones from The Howling, this movie is one of the most original to come out in years. The military in the Scottish Highlands, fighting the children of the night? Yes, please! Expecting to carry out a routine training mission, the soldiers find the ravaged remains of a Special Forces squad who were… More

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List: Top 13 Underated Horror Films

Posted on 02/01/2011 by Mary Parker

1. Dread (2009)
This movie came and went under the radar with little fanfare notice save a few features in Fangoria. Although it’s no surprise no one’s seen this, because it was one of After Dark Horrorfest’s movies this past year.

However, this movie is one that cannot be missed. It is the best Clive Barker adaptation ever. I will never see a movie starring one of the people from Twilight… except for Jackson Rathbone.… More

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Top 13 Horror Films for Female Empowerment

Posted on 12/13/2010 by Mary Parker

1. Underworld (2003)
Kate Beckinsale kicks major boo-tay in this one. In the film, Selene is something of an exalted vigilante, killing the Lycans (read: fancy word for werewolves; where is the fancy word for vampires?) for the atrocities they’ve committed against her family. So often when we think of vampires we think Dracula and his many incarnations, but here, finally, is a female vampire with some power.

2. Ginger Snaps (2000)
Being a… More

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Top 13 Greatest Horror Actors

Posted on 12/13/2010 by Mary Parker

1. Max von Sydow
Let’s start this list off with someone who seems like a no-brainer: Max von Sydow, also known as Father Merrin in The Exorcist. However, I include him because he is the only actor who has ever played both God and Satan. He was Jesus in The Greatest Story Ever Told and Satan in the adaptation of Stephen King’s Needful Things, which is actually pretty good. Any actor with those kind of… More

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Top 13 Colorful Horror Movies

Posted on 11/14/2010 by Mary Parker

1. The Masque of the Read Death (1964)
Vincent Price, Tarot, Satan, and the Plague. Yes, yes, yes—and yes, this movie is awesome. If there was any color to represent the genre, red would be it; black, maybe, but I think we can agree blood is the cornerstone of our appeal. Red is also my favorite color, so there you go. The Masque of the Red Death can also refer to a story by… More

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List: Top 13 Horror Film Daylight Deaths

Posted on 10/31/2010 by Mary Parker

One of the great powers of horror movies is atmosphere; setting the right mood can be a crucial part of selling the scare. Because of that, much of these movies take place at night or in darkness. I am a firm believer that something is one million times scarier if you can see it in full, hard light. So: the greatest deaths that don’t happen in darkness.

Also: many, many thanks to… More

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Top 10 Devil Themed Movies

Posted on 10/17/2010 by Mary Parker

1. The Exorcist (1973)
There are many people who say this is the scariest movie of all time. But I also know some people who laugh when they see this movie; it doesn’t scare them at all. What I will say, is that The Exorcist is the best possession or Devil-themed horror film ever made. I just watched this movie again recently, and man… it was awesome. I’m normally not a fan of movies… More

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Top 13 Greatest Horror Doctors

Posted on 09/28/2010 by Mary Parker

13. Dr. Giggles (Dr. Giggles, 1992)
When the kids of the neighborhood sing: “This town has a doctor and his name is Rendell / Stay away from his house cause he’s the doctor from Hell / He killed all his patients, every last one, / And cut out their hearts…purely for fun. / So if you’re from Moorehigh and you get sick / Fall on your knees and pray you die quick,” you know your… More

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