Haunted Honeymoon

Film Review: Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest (2007)

SYNOPSIS:

Scarlet Fry takes you on the thrill of your life with: Blood Thirsty Cannibals, Satanic Zombies, Demented Nurses, Junkie Serial Killers, Freaky Perverts and More! This Blood Drenched Deluxe Horrorfest isn’t for the weak at heart. A drug dealer has made his last deal after he decides to hand a junkie serial killer (Calico Cooper) some bad junk. This junk is, in fact, a video tape entitled “Junkfood Horrorfest.”

REVIEW:

Oh man, I pushed this one forward thinking it would be sort of the prize of the pack. “JunkFood Horrorfest” is an anthology-style movie featuring Scarlet Fry as your friendly redneck-Texas-chainsaw-looking host. As each short is introduced, Scarlet makes funny quirky comments propped in front of his recent female victims who hang in the background.

Now I have seen my share of micro budget movies, so when a film instantly shows that its pretty much a camcorder shoot and print sort for production, I try not to hold that “entirely” against them. I might even recommend that they re-edit the piece giving it more cinematic style to pretty up the rather bland VHS standard look. It’s certainly not shot in HD and the editing is pretty basic out of the box kind of stuff. So be warned on what you signed up for.

Though what folks tune into really is how is the film and did it leave any kind of impact?

Scarlet Fry’s JunkFood Horrorfest is pretty easy to sum up. It’s 4-6 shorts (I forget the count) that begin a premise as if they are leading up to “something” and simply peter out on a murder scene. I much compare this to planning a scene where you couldn’t think of a decent ending and walking away. Well this factor is evident in ALL of the shorts, so at least they are consistent in their lack of.

Our first short begins with an overweight man who has ran out of food. He welcomes a new neighbor up to his pad for a lunch break only to turn around and kill her on the spot. OK, so we’ve seen this kind of thing before but my question is…where is the finale, the turnaround, the clincher?? There is none. These shorts simply lack any cleverness what so ever to engage viewers into a short story session. As far as our cannibal…it might have been a better choice if he attacked her, “she” didn’t die and “she” turned out to be the cannibal…. just a suggestion.

In another short, a nurse walks her near death handicapped patient out on his daily stroll. The patient is shot in the head by a a sniper and the 2 of them drive away into the sunset. Again, no purpose. It’s an incident without meaning, without inventiveness and without any sort of moral ending. What “could of” added a little bit of spice is that the 2 pull out get hit by a truck thus ending there celebration of freedom. But that didn’t happen either.

Another short has a man who lives a pretty boring life, writing a note, starting a bath and slitting his wrist. The End. ..No really, that’s it.

How about a gay humor piece that has a group of boys earning some quick cash if they spank a local fag with their skateboard? The lead on this mission finds he can’t live with himself afterwards and kills off the fag and his taunting girlfriend (his girlfriend not the homo’s of course). This right here is a prime opportunity to end this piece on a perfect turnaround. For instance, the kid could lose his job, find himself homeless and soon ending up on the street pimping his “own ass” for $. This was really well done in he film “Edmond” which takes a like premise and does a 360. Though that is “my idea” and not what really happens. Again it ends on a killing, the end.

It was at this point, that engagement notion I was talking about would never see the light of day. Each which follows ends in murder or death, that’s about it. Really at the end of the day, as a standalone there isn’t much to review on this film. We sign up for a film that sports a pretty decent looking cover and find that an hour later we have been unengaged, bored and ready to actually head to the theatres to see a real film.

I’m gonna have to call upon the death of any future Scarlet Fry productions until they do some serious script writing homework. The film look effort would be nice as well, but as they say…story is everything.

Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest (2007)

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