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Film Review: Millennial Killer (2020)

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SYNOPSIS:

The step on the housing ladder becomes the first step on the path to hell

REVIEW:

When the official Synopsis of a film is as barebones as the above, you know the film you’re about to watch isn’t going to be a good one, and in this sense, and this sense alone, Millennial Killer didn’t disappoint.

I was excited to watch this film. I really was. The artwork on IMDB showed a raw, exploitative, grindhouse kind of visage and even the title was alluring. A person who kills Millennials?! Quite arguably the shittiest generation so far? I couldn’t be more interested if the title was “Kid cries at a school sporting event when he doesn’t get a participation ribbon because he’s shit.”

Once you start the film though, you quickly understand why the official synopsis was so barebones; it has nothing else to offer. Millennial Killer is simply about a crazy dude who read an article about some granny getting murdered by “youths”, pretends to be a real estate agent and kills anybody who comes to the open house inspections he has infiltrated. Oh, and all the people who come to this inspection happen to be Millennials.

That’s it. There’s no story, no B-story, no character development, no arc, no theme and absolutely no entertainment.

The “story” of Millennial Killer was as basic as a high school student’s creative writing essay. There were gaping plot holes like, why does no one ever smell the decaying corpses in the master bedroom? The stench would have been tasted from outside the property. Why does everybody the killer entices into the master bedroom never react to the plastic sheeting (and dead people) in the room, giving the killer ample time to somehow produce a hammer and KO them? Why does any victim in the room never scream when the door is opened, or when they hear the other peoples’ voices entering the house? Why does the only survivor never grab a cell phone out from any of the victims’ pockets, let alone her own? I could go on and on, but that would be putting in more effort than the creators of this “film” ever did.

The acting was atrocious, which is to be expected in these ultra-low budget films, but when the direction, story, effects, sound and visuals are as equally atrocious there is nothing to cling on to. It felt like a high school film class project submission.

It even ends with no actual thought put into it. Kill, kill, kill then the cops just show up and that’s it. Why? How? Even a single scene allowing a small logical link would have sufficed, but we aren’t even gifted that. Not one iota of effort was put into the story other than “crazy man kills people.”

Some might say, “That’s a bleak and accurate reflection of real life, so stop being a negative Nancy, Dan” but if I want that kind of bland, unrelenting and unentertaining realism, I’d watch the news.

I feel bad shitting on a person’s creation. They’ve put time and (what they felt was) effort and money into this thing. But to me, the creators completely shit on the medium by putting naught skill or thought into constructing a story, characters or anything nearing a comprehensive narrative in any form. I guess I’m not the target audience.

This film was a chore to watch and is simply the worst thing I have ever had the displeasure of enduring, and I’ve seen my kids’ primary school musical productions, many times… Other than the alluring title, I could not find any positive to Millennial Killer. Avoid it like the plague.

0.5 out of 5 open inspections

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