A high school music teacher sticks around after class to tickle the ivories and sing a few tunes he learned in his youth.  His glory days are long gone but if he closes his eyes he relives just a little piece of them…in his head anyway. He was once just another guy that played in a band, but to his …

So the other night I cooked up a massive plate of buffalo wings and sat down for a sweet viewing of “Rabid Grannies”. Seemed like a pretty solid venture to me: A movie about two 80+ year old women who become possessed by demons and go on a MURDEROUS rampage. My kind of stuff! Right??  Well…maybe not. Even though this movie had all the …

So today I am quite pleased to introduce a new feature here at The Bloody Blender called “The Bloody BRIEF”. Pretty catchy and original huh? “But Loren, what is The Bloody Brief? What’s it all about and why are you doing it? Have you seen Timecop?” For those who have been religiously following my column to date (all 1.7 of you) you are …

I know what a lot of you are going to think about me writing about “Don’t” movies: “WhatEVER dude…you ripped this idea off from the ‘Grindhouse’ trailer! Why don’t you try and be ORIGINAL for a change, and write about something that DOESNT SUCK douchebag!” To that I say: “WRONG!” My fascination for the “Don’t” movie actually stems back to …

SYNOPSIS: Driven permanently insane by her sexually abusive father, runaway Lynn (Toni Lawrence) hides out in a small town and lands a job at the local diner owned by creepy pig farmer Zambrini (Marc Lawrence). Zambrini (who feeds corpses to his pigs) takes a liking to man-hating Lynn, who has the habit of killing any man who puts the moves …

  SYNOPSIS: Obese attorney Billy Halleck (Robert John Burke) accidentally runs over a gypsy woman with his car. When his police cronies and the judge help Halleck cover up the incident, the victim’s father, Tadzu Lempke (Michael Constantine), puts a carb-conscious curse on his daughter’s killer. Before long, hefty Halleck is dropping an incredible 40 pounds a week, and his …

Oh hey there hot chixxx and sweet dudes I am quite comfortable at this stage of my life telling you that my favorite horror sub-genre is the zombie film. Killer aliens on spaceships are probably a close second, but I go through long stretches where all I’ll watch is zombie-horror.  Now, I’m sure there’s some psycho-analyst out there who can spout …

SYNOPSIS: It’s 2455 A.D., and Earth is a contaminated planet that’s been abandoned for centuries. In the remains of a research facility, a visiting archaeology class discovers two frozen ancestors — a beautiful woman and a rotted corpse wearing a strange mask. When they transport the carcasses back to their space lab and the ice melts, Jason is revived … …

Oh hey there Wizards, Goblins, and Damsels Even though I am a lifelong lover of all things con-worthy, I am very new to the whole “fest” and “con” thing. Till now I’ve elected to geek out in the privacy of my own home. Hard to say why really given I live for this stuff. Part of it is that for some bizarre reason …