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Film Reviews header
- March 26th, 2015Interviewed by: Todd MartinMarch 23rd, 2015Interviewed by: Mike Joy
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- Reviewed by: Dave Gammon
Hello everyone. Today is another day. I trust you had no troubles sleeping these last few nights, well, unless you have a problem with grave robbing, necrophilia, slightly effeminate horror icons, or foolishness. If that case, then todayâ€™s madness is sure to give you nightmares.
Not at all necro-erotic, or particularly disrespectful to the dead, todayâ€™s madness is however chock full of all that … Continue reading
Welcome back, children. Last week was a truly terrifying one, filled with phobias and madness plucked lovingly from the bowels of the human psyche. This week weâ€™re going to take it easy and relax a bit – with some comedy. Yes, yes. I know. â€śBut Professor Fiendy, your suppose to show us crazy videos of cows eating tigers, and rich men hunting hobos with harpoons.â€ť
Well, while this is true, itâ€™s not the whole … Continue reading
Morning everyone. Letâ€™s get right to it. Todayâ€™s Madness comes from the website funnyordie.com, where many of you may have seen Will Ferrell getting a stern talking to from a small landlord or roughing up hybrid owners. Either way, this is a pretty silly little skit involving everyoneâ€™s favorite dream demon, Freddy Kruegur.
In it, Freddy must alert local residents of his status … Continue reading
Ok children. As you are all aware, today is Thanksgiving and you shouldnâ€™t actually be in class. I apologize for this misunderstanding. Your Professor had a nice Thanksgiving themed lesson prepared for today, but it didnâ€™t exactly work out. So, like you, he now wants to get out of here as soon as possible – not before we give thanks and get to some madness however.
Insidious (2011), is a delightful haunting/possession film directed by James Wan. It’s a film about a family and their attempts to prevent the suddenly comatose son, from being possessed by spirits from a realm called “The Further”. You don’t think that we could conjur up some badjokes about this film, do you?! In fact I feel that I “possess” the tools and “spirit”, to “further” us along to:
12 Bad Jokes About … Continue reading
“Let The Right One In” (2008) , is a Swedish horror/fantasy/romance film directed by Tomas Alfredson. It’s centered around a boy named Oskar, who is a target for bullies, and his peculiar, 12 year old friend Eli. What Oskar does not not know about Eli, is that she is a 200 year old Vampire. Her father is a serial killer, who provides Eli with blood, so she won’t have to kill. Now … Continue reading
“I Know What You Did Last Summer”, was released in theaters, in 1997.Directed by Jim Gillespie, it had a cast of popular, up and coming actors and actresses, and centers around a group of teens who have a hit & run accident.They dump the victim in the water. The … Continue reading
Vampire Girl vs.Frankenstein Girl (2009) , is an over the top gore filled, fun-fest, directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Naoyuki Tomomatsu.The film has a love triangle, between Vampire Girl(Monami) , Frankenstein Girl(Keiko) and Mizushima.
Throw in some satirical content about “the wrist-cutting society”, some do-wop songs, and buckets and buckets of spraying blood, I must, nay-have to take a bite out of this film with…
12 Bad Jokes About: Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl
12 Bad Jokes About ‘Rubber’
“Rubber”(2010) is a horror film directed by Quentin Dupieux. The very unique villain Robert is a self aware tire.Robert has telekinetic powers.Although being a tire you could say he has “tele-pneumatic” powers.
He’s on the rampage against a small desert town.Bringing interesting ways of getting his “steel belted” points across! Is it “bias” that makes him “ply” his anger?You’ll have to see the film to find out! !
Until you … Continue reading
Horrornews.net is Winning! Charlie Sheen is all over every internet website, so why should HNN be any different? This is a pretty funny spoof on Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.Â
“My Bloody Valentine” was originally released in 1981, and directed by George Mihalka.It was remade in 3D, and directed by Patrick Lussier, in 2009. Either version will get your blood pumping!The basic story is about miners who got trapped on the eve of the town’s Valentine’s Day dance.One of them resorted to cannibalism to survive, and went on a killing spree, years later after threats to the town, to not celebrate Valentine’s Day.The killer miner, … Continue reading
12 Bad Jokes About:Black Swan
“Black Swan” is a drama/thriller movie starring Natalie Portman, and directed by Darren Aronofsky. In it, Natalie Portman’s character lands the lead role in the ballet, “Swan Lake”. From that point,it’s a downward spiral into madness. I’ll bet you didn’t think ballet could be this fun, did you?!
Well, let’s break out our leotards,and tutus, have a pirouette or two, as we tell:
1) What film do you get,by crossing … Continue reading
Ho! Ho! Horror!
It’s the holiday season,and there are horror films firmly in the spirit and theme of Christmas! Some even have remakes or sequels? Yes it’s true (shudder!).
Check out these titles:
Silent Night,Deadly Night.
Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas.
To All a Good Night.
Rare Exports:A Christmas Tale.
As you can see, there’s … Continue reading
Heya Freaks And Minx!
You actually came back?! Well, sh*t the bed!! Thanks so much for not giving up on me too soon! (Give it a few more editions and you may change your mind) Hope you guys enjoy!
WHAT WOULD HORROR BE WITHOUT WOMEN?! WOMEN IN HORROR CON’S TO START
…AND I’M PLANNING ONE AS WELL
I have a couple of cool things I am working on so please excuse … Continue reading
“My Soul To Take 3D“, is the new Wes Craven horror film, about a serial killer coming back to terrorize teens that share the same birthday. Plus, the birthdays are the date the killer was supposedly put to rest.
I’m not sure,but I think I feel the need to write 12 Bad Jokes About:
“My Soul To Take” Mwhuhuhahahah!
1) What Wes Craven film, has a hockey player arguing with a referee disallowing his … Continue reading
THE THREE STOOGES: “The Ghost Talks” (1949)
This is The Three Stooges at their best as Larry, Mo, and Shemp offer up plenty of laughs and scares in this episode titled “The Ghost Talks”. This immediately brings me back to when I was a kid and watching these old Stooges shorts. The scary one’s were always my favorite. Here we see some classic early horror comedy as the … Continue reading
12 Bad Jokes About District 9
District 9, (2009), directed by Neill Blomkamp, is about a race of aliens living on earth.Unfortunately, they are forced to live in camps or slums.They are treated as a low life form.They get nicknamed “prawns”. The story gets a twist, when a government agent gets exposed to the prawns technology.The way he has to deal with what comes next.(I’m not giving any spoilers). The beautiful thing about this movie, … Continue reading
The Last Excorcism, is about a minister reluctantly performing a spirit removal, or excorcism, in front of a film documentary crew. It’s directed by Daniel Stamm, and produced by Eli Roth, among others.
1. What did the minister do , when his subject was possesed by the spirit of Charles Atlas?
Performed his “Last Flex-orcism”!
2. What do you call a procedure to remove the spirit of an Ogre, one final time?
The “Last Shreks-orcism”!
Piranha3D is directed by Alexandre Aja,and will be in theaters this summer(2010).
It is the story of prehistoric man-eating fish,getting set free by an underwater earthquake/tremor. A feeding frenzy is to follow, as the little things tear up some springbreakers on a lovely beach!
It stars Elizabeth Shue, Eli Roth, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss, and more…
Let’s test the treacherous waters,with:
12 Bad jokes about Piranha3D!!!!
The 2009 Norwegian horror/comedy film, Dead Snow, or Dod Sno, is directed by Tommy Wirkola.It centers on med students spending their spring break on a ski trip, in a cabin.
What they don’t know, is they are about to be attacked by Nazi Zombies! (It could happen)…
I love snow! I love Zombies! Heck, I love movies that vilify Nazis! Let’s get out our sleds, and go downhill with: