Delamorte’s Dungeon: March Madness Edition

Hello there Fiend Club!
So here we are. . it’s March and I have so much madness in store for you all! I am now in a new location with a brand new love. . but the freakish fun will continue the exact same way! Just like the homicidal Dexter Morgan. . I am unleashing my “Dark Passenger” on the streets of sunny Florida. . and I hope to meet some new faces real soon! But the fun will continue. . no bullsh*t. . no frills. . just the same full-throttle punk attitude! There is so much to mention this time around,  so what do you say? Let’s get down to some horror business!

There are many sins to mention in cinema this time around so why don’t we get started with the pain and torment?

First is one of my most anticipated horror films this year. . James Wan’s Insidious have to admit. . I was on the fence about this one since I am definitely not a fan of the Paranormal Activity franchise. . which incidentally has a part in this project. But from the looks of the trailer. . this looks really awesome! The film stars Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Barbara Hershey, and the well deserved return of the awesome Lin Shaye! The story focuses on a young family who discovers the body of their comatose son has become a magnet for evil while his consciousness lies trapped in a dark realm known as The Further. If you have not viewed the trailer. . do yourself a favor and check it out! Enter a world of gruesome ghosts when INSIDIOUS hits theaters on April 1st from FilmDistrict!

Then, we have the return of a classic franchise. . and I am admittedly excited for this! I absolutely adore the first chapter of Sidney Prescott and her terrifying origins in the town of Woodsboro. Of course I am talking about master Wes Craven’s love letter to the classic slasher, Scream! Now the franchise is back with it’s fourth and hopefully final entry, Scream 4. The film brings back the o. g. ‘s Courtney Cox, David Arquette, and Neve Campbell reprising her role as the survivor girl that would make Jamie proud, Sidney Prescott! Sidney returns to her hometown on the last stop of her self-help book tour which of course brings the return of Ghostface. The film has received an R rating and is supposed to be extremely brutal. . hell yeah! Let’s only hope this is the serie’s H20 and it has a terrific finale! Witness the return of icons when Scream 4 slashes screens on April 15th from Dimension films!

And I would like to mention a truly great find,  Matt Farnsworth’s brutal metal masterpiece,  The Orphan Killer! The story centers on a grown man’s revenge after being thrown into a world of hell and his sister being given a better life. Wanna talk revenge? Oh man! You have it here! It is truly a must see! And Marcus Miller is definitely deserving of the horror icon mantle! Check out The Orphan Killer page on Facebook! You can also order the dvd and soundtrack there as well!

And now, I want to take a moment to bring up a point I feel is poignant. Okay. First let me say that I was so surprised by how much I enjoyed Drive Angry 3D. One of the reasons it was so entertaining was because of the kickass performance of the lovely actress, Amber Heard! I also loved her five minute undead flashback in Zombieland. She played a hell of a zombie. . what can I say?  So, with that said. . here is my issue. There are two great Amber Heard horror films floating around Europe that are not receiving any U. S.  distribution. First is the awesome nod to the 80’s slasher, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane. This movie has been praised by many in the industry. . and the only reason it was not released is the fact that there were no actual stars to sell the product. Well, I believe that Amber has proven that she is a true star and that she could very well be a new queen of horror! Let’s get the ball rolling on the release of this gory gem right now! Cmon!

Next is brought to you by a true legend and incidentally my favorite director of all time, Mr.  John Carpenter! Carpenter’s first horror film in seven years, The Ward, also features Amber as a woman thrown into a haunted mental hospital. For some reason or another. . it is also in some kind of limbo with no release in sight! What the hell man? Are they going to screw a master yet again like they did when Clive Barker’s adaptation Midnight Meat Train was released at the sh*tty dollar theaters? Dark Lord, I sure as hell hope not! So Amber. I am truly a fan, truly in your corner, and want to see your projects receive the credit they deserve. Amber. . I salute you ghoul girl! Fiiiire!

Lastly, I just want to congratulate the awesome Natalie Portman for her well deserved win in the movie that was closest to my dark soul last year and the closest thing to horror at the Academy Awards, Black Swan! And also congratulations to my friend and amazing actor, Michael Biehn! He is part of the comedy Take Me Home Tonight which is doing excellent at the box office. Good for you Corporal!

Looking for a hardboiled terror yarn in pen and ink? Well, the only thing I have to say this month is to check out Undying Love! This sweet horror/action tale is equal parts vampire mythology and Chinese folklore set in modern day Hong Kong. The story features ex-soldier John Sargent who has fallen for a breathtakingly beautiful Chinese woman named Mei. Only problem is. . Mei is a goddamn sh*tsucking vampire! Haha. . there’s your nod Mr.  Corey Haim. . rest in peace buddy. Anyway. . to free Mei from the curse he sets out to destroy the bloodsucker that made her. . who just happens to be the most powerful vamp in history! I sense some trouble here. . how about you? Check out an awesome nightmare noir when Undying Love drains shelves on April 6th from Image Comics!

Finally! I have some news from the dark side of music! And I also have an introduction to a band of beasts that has caught my attention. . and should be part of your chaotic collection!

First, there is news that the Dark God that is very instrumental to my musical soul, Glenn Danzig is in the Satanic studio creating a cover album featuring tributes to Elvis Presley, Black Sabbath, among others! This sounds incredible! Know what be even more incredible? Doing Misfits songs. . on a stage. . with the old lineup. I will take what I can get though. More news on Evil Elvis as it becomes available!

And now, I would like to introduce you to a talented horrorpunk band led by Andre’ Cox called Jamey Rottencorpse and The Rising Dead! The band hails from Bremen, Delaware and began in Halloween 2006. The band features Tom Tom Scumbag and Slimebag Die Well on gruesome guitars, Riot Earp on beastly bass, Dr.  Herbert Boomstick on the dreadful drums, and sinful samples from Moldy Oddfingers. . great names! These guys pay homage to all the legends and represent everything I believe horrorpunk is lacking! Their first album will be released in a few months but you can check out their first video, The Rise Of The Dead, on their Myspace page now! Let’s get these ghoulies signed. . and support them as best as we can. . they deserve it!

And.  .  as usual, I have merch for your bony little fingers.  .  or more importantly.  .  your sore ridden bodies! Haha! The Delamorte Deadly Delight for this month is my friend and artist Jeff Zornow’s return to Fright Rags! I give you two t’s featuring a true cult classic, Critters, and also the superclassic Italian horror, City Of The Dead! Each shirt is fully detailed with Zornow’s killer art, 100% cotton, and could not be more badass! You must have these shirts in your creepy closet! Be sure to purchase these chaotic cloths at FRIGHTRAGS.COM now!!

So..there you have it! Madness for the month of March..and no,  I am not speaking about basketball! I just want to say that I am truly happy with everything that is happening for us..my Demonesses and I. And..I am truly floored that I have found the true demon queen for me.I absolutely adore this zombie princess and could not ask for anything more! So,  Alicia Marie Boucher..my love..take a bow before the curtain is drawn on this Grand Guignol.I absolutely love you,  hellcat! The rest of you..I have so much in store for you..so stay tuned for the terror that is Delamorte’s Dungeon and The Dungeon Podcast on BLOGTALKRADIO.COM! Also,  my loyal best friend and partner,  Apocalypse Amy and her horrible hubby,  Trent Lynes..happy anniversary! I love you both and may you have many more years of glorious gore together! Til’ next time F.C.,  remember,  the only thing that can impale your dreams is your own negativity.Scare ya later!

Sweet Nightmares and Pleasant Screams,
Your Florida Fear Bringer,
Rob Delamorte