If Lloyd Kaufman knows how to do one thing, it’s how to bring crazy ass movies to the world. Enter his latest discovery, a little gem titled A TALE OF TWO SISTERS. The film has absolutely nothing to do with the Jee-woon Kim film of the same name, and was based on a poem written in 1989 by everybody’s favorite warlock with tiger’s blood running through his veins, Charlie Sheen! The movie features a large woman rolling on a beach with a man half her size while Sheen reads his poem in a voiceover. Who could argue the genius behind such poetic lines as these?
“It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times,
Lovely Lizzie signed that check
As diamonds hang from your throttled neck.”