Film Review: Bitch Slap (2009)

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SYNOPSIS:

Three naughty girls — leggy stripper Trixie (Julia Voth), homicidal drug runner Camero (America Olivo) and high-powered businesswoman Hel (Erin Cummings) — team up to rip off a crime kingpin, but surprise betrayals quickly spin events out of control. Guns, hand-to-hand combat, scantily clad women and plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor populate this guilty-pleasure throwback to 1960s and ’70s exploitation films.

REVIEW:

With a title like “Bitch slap”, well that could mean either an exploitation film, a retrograde or maybe an empowered female bust a nut and a cap in ya parade…. Better yet throw in some Tarantino, some Coyote Ugly and some Charlie’s angels with a heavy Zoe Bell kind of flair and you got yourself some Bitch slap”. The humor comes in the sort of ZZTOP kind of slow mo introductions that sport some pretty damn hot ladies right off the bat. Then to kick ya in the nuts so you don’t think your gonna get off easy they rush right into beating the sh*t out of there captured male prize who calls himself Gage (Michael Hurst). The title credits pan and flip thru some of the best cinema moments in female empowered films over the last decades and then back to the killing at hand. Who do we got and where did these lovely ladies come from?

The trio lineup consists of hot stripper extraordinaire Trixie (Julia Voth), gang leader red headed dynamo Hel (Erin Cummings) and the tough as nails strong arm of the bunch Camero (America Olivo). As a collective they have all played numerous roles in films and tv series episodes but paring them together makes for a 3-some of what the “Witches of Eastwick” should be in the modern age (and I must add that Erin Cummings really should “stay” a red head as she looks dynamite .

Camero gets scene after scene to prove how bad ass she is…kicking, punching, and twirling weaponry like a Navy Seal. Though my guess is we owe alot of that training to “real” badass trainer Zoe Bell. Zoe by the way makes an appearance as Rawhide in the film (though you may miss it if ya blink). Now the film plays back in flashback segments that have us with them at present but intercut with title cards announcing previous days and times that shows how they got to where they are. Which by the way is in the desert looking for some buried treasure.

I might add that the outfits they wear to dig up dirt is a blast in itself. tight dresses, pushed up bras with cleavage popping out like snow cones of heaven complete with high heels, half shirts, netted stockings and a dress that looks like a tiny they painted it on is all the rage! Style is obviously borrowed from the earlier films of the 70’s though without the 70’s look to date it.

Back stories talk about a local legend of a crime lord who calls himself Pinky that the girls are in fear of, a cop that stops by named Deputy Fuchs (Ron Melendez) …pun intended, a punker and his strong arm bitch named Kinki (Minae Noji ) who has a rather mean razor blade yo-yo at her disposal and heck just alot of really crazy characters to boot.

Bitchslap tries hard to be an intended parody of itself that succeeds on all levels. Each lady sports a hot body with a steaming rack to match emphasized by the camera every chance it gets. In fact so much that it becomes funny after a while in a over exploited MTV tribute that should have bits and parts appearing in music videos. The clencher for me was to see all 3 girls getting dirty digging holes in the desert that was interrupted by a over the top water bucket fight.

As Camero exclaims “don’t waste the water” and then they proceed to bucket each other in a all girl water fight for 5 minutes…..now that’s good TV! Now fan boys will be happy to know that the fun doesn’t stop there….. Director / writer Rick Jacobson made sure to include a nice and violently delicious lesbo scene between the 2 hotties which probably deserves an award in itself for eroticism.

Rick Jacobson in short has provided every male fantasy all wrapped up in one, wrapped around a violence meets music video kind of movie. Bitch slap is not meant to be taken seriously and proves that notion time and time again. I personally think its brilliant! ….for the movie that it is. The filmmakers have fun and capture every hot shot they can muster cut and edited with a dynamic flair that plays like a tribute to all the things guys would like to see in a movie. It’s professionally shot, backed with a energetic score of tunes and gives us action, romance and ass kicking at every shot.

We’ve seen some likenesses in movies like Feast 2 & 3 and of course the entire Tarantino collection but that doesn’t take away the kick ass nature of this film. Ladies….sorry but when you rent a movie that calls itself “Bitch slap” you get what you ordered though you may enjoy the empowered female aspect of it all. Guys there’s not much more I can write except go see this bad boy and keep a copy on hand for repeated viewings!