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Final Destination 5 (2011), is directed by Steven Quale.This is the latest installment of the F.D.franchise.Quale, along with previous directors James Wong, David R.Ellis (two F.D. films each), brings an interesting idea to the screen.
Premonitions of death and cheating death itself, are the common threads.Tony Todd takes another turn in his reoccurring role.The uncommon thread, is the one we will weave with today.I’m talking about:
1) These people escaped disaster and death, because of a friend with premonitions.How were they chosen? Did they click “like” on Facebook, if you want to escape disaster and death? Sheesh!
2) What film is about LP records cheating death because of premonitions?
“Vinyl Destination”!
3) In Final Destination 2, one lucky (for a little while) guy wins the lottery.His appliances all explode in his apartment, forcing him out to his death! Dude.Exploding appliances?! That’s what you get for going with “rent to own”!
4) What film is about a premonition of cheating a skin rash?
Final “Desitin-Nation”!
5) In Final Destination 3, there is a tanning bed death scene.If they had a premonition about “spray tanning”, they could of avoided that “toasty” turn of events!
6) What film is about a place, that has endless supplies of cd’s of an indie folk band, and dvd’s of a 1930’s western film series of the same name?
Final “Destry-Nation”!
7) In the fourth film, The Final Destination, there is a death by a flying tire.”Wheel-ly”?! Did we have to go there?
8) What film has a premonition about a death cheating, cleaning service?
Final “Dusty-Nation”!
9) In Final Destination 5, there is a scene of death by acupuncture.Hmmm…I’m thinking that “Stuck on You” by Lionel Richie, would not be an appropriate musical selection at that time.
10) What film has a premonition of drinking some good alcoholic beverages?
“Fine Ale” Destination!
11) In the Final Destination films, there are references to 180, wether it’s a flight number, highway number, etc. One thing is for certain.If my friend told me of a premonition of a disaster and my death, I would “180” it and head for the hills!
12) What film has a premonition about TMZ being mean to Nathan Lane, one last time?
Final “Diss-to-Nathan”!
Oh, Oh, Ohhhhhh!! ! Those were just bewildering! Staggering, even!! I think I’d better watch my step, unlike the escalator victim in F.D.4, The Final Destination! In fact, I had a premonition that Mr.Bludworth was going to wring my neck for writing these bad jokes!! Well, I’m going to do that “180” now and head for those hills!! Bye for now!!
Remember, there’s a bad joke, just waiting to be written!
Monstermatt Patterson
Author “Monstermatt’s Bad Monster Jokes Vol.1”
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