Film Review: 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

SYNOPSIS:

Survivors escape to a deserted atoll after a Semester at Sea ship is sunk by a mutated two-headed shark. But when the atoll starts flooding, no one is safe from the double jaws of the monster.

REVIEW:

You gotta love the schlock that’s been drifting up shore in the 21st century. The idea of giant monsters has been fully exploited in the form of sharks, alligators, snakes, and what not. And of course leading that pack is the inventive team of “The Asylum“. The team that mimics the industry has gone even as far as mimicking themselves. However, when you pick up a DVD with the title “2-Headed Shark Attack ” bellowing out at you, you “HAVE” to assume what’s coming.

This is why, these modern camp movies are so fun requiring viewers who are looking for dark humor rather than psychological ownership. “2-Headed Shark Attack” arrives on the foot heels of its previous collective. Backed by this cinematic nonsense is a reliable FX team whom I assume does all of the Asylum films, or a least some of the giant monsters films they have created.

The attraction? Well there is off course a rather large 2-headed shark. The shark is seen in 2 modes. One being, the underwater CGI version along side its practical FX head view model. The 2 are combined in a way that works although purists will notice that the size of the shark seems to constantly change. There is this huge building size monster that swallows 2 surfers whole and then up close view which is more in line with a medium-large size great white. I quickly got over that, as the filmmakers just assume that viewers will enjoy the gag rather than over analyze it.

The 2nd part of the attraction is the beautiful people cast of “young and fits”. Viewers will over joy that just about everyone is suited up in provocative bathing suits thru most of the film. Of course the story is centered on a boat and an island, so that’s a given. Then of course we have name stars Carmen Electra, Charlie O’Connell, and Brooke Hogan.

We’ll start with Carmen, who really gets the best gig of all. I didn’t realize till the credits that she plays the professors wife Anne Babish. Carmen is mostly limited to relaxing on the boat, posing, bending over, and just looking hot. No worries, there….we get it, and we accept it. Charlie O’Connell plays Professor Babish, the teacher in charge who is taking his class out on an aquatic field trip of sorts. I’m sure there is more to this, but the nature of it really alluded me. In any case, the students are there on assignment, of which hot bodies seem to be a prerequisite.

Babish keeps it all together and botches a shark rescue that gets caught at the ships front hull. This comes across a bit corny as this CGI oversize shark is dragged and then caught in the rudder. To fix the now damaged boat, they head to a deserted island which houses a small resort (go figure??) A discovery is made that a series of island earthquakes are releasing aquatic creatures that otherwise shouldn’t be coming to the surface. One of which is our buddy 2-head.

Brooke Hogan plays the role of Kate in what I’m calling still an early acting gig for our reality star. Her previous gig includes “Sand Sharks” (do I smell a trend brewing??). Hogan of course has been roped into the Asylum net, though I “do” hope that her agent is also bent on more serious roles. I have to give leeway to reality stars who are plucked from their world and instantly thrown into movie acting. Let’ just say, that she is kept within the ensemble of the script, rather than throwing her into a highly dramatic role…moving on.

The story plays out as you would expect. Kids get eaten, kids look for sex, kids get eaten looking for sex and one big mother of a weird as shark gnaws at their humanity. (their humanity…eh??) You gotta have fun with these reviews, so humanity it is! Digression….. big ass shark, 2 bigheads,,,,,,yumm, yumm yumm. Oh ya, big 2 head also likes them topless ladies….yummy!

Shark bites…shark rips, shark eats between its 2 heads, and tosses the bodies back and forth. This could be the advert in itself and do just as fine. 2-Headed Shark Attack is good campy fun suitable for extreme schlock lovers. The film is directed by Christopher Ray, son of schlockmeister Fred Olen Ray. I’m thinking that schlocky wet beasst runs in the family. One look at Fred Olen Ray’s movie credits is a book in itself. So I suppose the torch has ben passed. I’m gonna leave this review with some simple advice. If you really liked all the crazy shark films that have come out in the last few years, then you have to add this one to the collection. If you are looking for a “Girl with a Dragon Tattoo” then don’t complain.

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)