Film Review: Creep Van (2012)

SYNOPSIS:

Life without a car can be murder. Nobody is going to learn that lesson faster than Campbell Jackson, a 20-something, out of work, out of options misfit in Detroit. Forced to take a dead-end position at a local car wash, Campbell sees a dilapidated 1970s van for sale. Little does he know it is the Creep Van, which is busy terrorizing the people of Michigan, creatively dispatching victims with a host of elaborately constructed booby traps inside its rusted walls. For those unwilling to climb aboard, the Creep and his Van have no qualms about running folks over or smashing through the occasional house. Campbell finds himself forced to team up with a sleazy conman named Swami Ted to hunt down and stop the Creep and his Van before it is too late

REVIEW:

I hate hearing about cool things happening in my neck of the woods AFTER they have passed. It happens to me all the time and I’m sure it will continue to happen for many years to come. The cool thing I’m referring to is a feature film called “Creep Van”. Now, I’m not really a fan of the title but this film rocks!! The film has a sense of humor, unpredictable ending, fun cameos, and some killer gore effects courtesy of the folks over at Almost Human. And to think I didn’t want to watch this film. I’m not sure when the film is coming to DVD but it has been acquired by Inception Media Group for a release later this year. It kind of felt like “Saw” in an old dilapidated 70’s van.

Campbell (Brian Kolodziej) is a bit of a loveable loser. He is without a car and forced to ride the bus everywhere he goes. He is living with his pal and girlfriend who have some truly bizarre sexual practices. Campbell takes a job at a local car wash doing detailing. He is trying to save some cash to buy himself a car. The car he sets his eye on is a rusty ole 70’s style van, one that most of us associate as being the type a creepy guy would drive to kidnap people with. We aren’t far off, this guy doesn’t want to kidnap anyone, he just wants them dead. The killer becomes obsessed with making Campbell’s life a living hell. Not only this but he also has Swami Ted (Collin Bernsen), a pissed off drug dealer on his case to. At least he has Amy (Amy Wehrell), who works with him at the car wash, but also has taken a liking to him. So things don’t look too bad until the crazy in the “Creep Van” decides to step up the game and tries to make things a hell of a lot worse for Campbell.

Aside from a couple of tiny questions that were left unanswered, (they didn’t need to be answered, just something I would have enjoyed for myself) I had nothing to complain about. All the ingredients for a B-movie classic are present. The story moves along at just the right pace. There was nothing that felt like filler and every frame counts. The acting was good enough and you can’t have a B-movie classic without a cameo by Lloyd Kaufman, who always delivers. There is also a nice cameo by “Chromeskull” star Angelina Armani. Brian Kolodziej does a fine job carrying the film and I couldn’t imagine anyone else in the role. But Swami Ted was by far the most fun character. Collin Bernsen is hilarious and we need to see a movie based on that character.

For me, the highlight of the film was, without question, the visual effects. There are some nice kills and plenty of gore. The van itself felt like a character in the film. The van is also equipped with booby traps galore and no shortage of deaths. Most people just showed up to get killed but who cares. Why else would we be watching this movie anyways. We want blood!!! And we get it so “Creep Van” works in every area for me.

Director Scott W. McKinlay knows how to deliver the goods. “Creep Van” isn’t going to please everybody, it just delivers exactly what a film with that title would suggest. It’s an hour and twenty minutes of cheesy jokes, blood, boobies, and good clean American fun. “Creep Van” is already available in the U.K. When Inception Media finally does release it here in the U.S, I really think you should run out and pick this up. I may even buy this disc when it streets. I’m looking forward to seeing where Scott W. McKinlay goes from here and if you need some cheap help on your next film, I’m you’re man. ****(out of 5)

Creep Van (2012)