Film Review: Call Girl Of Cthulu (2014)

SYNOPSIS:

When a virginal artist falls in love with a call girl, she turns out to be the chosen bride of the alien god Cthulhu. To save her, he must stop an ancient cult from summoning their god and destroying mankind.

REVIEW:

Carter Wilcox (David Phillip Carollo) is a nebbish in the purest sense of the word. So much so that despite the fact that has a sexually adventurous, yet protective roommate named Erica (Nicolette Le Faye) who might give him some play if he asked – he finds himself fetching condoms for her use with assorted lovers. He desperately wants to lose his virginity, but he’ll only give it up to a woman he feels is special. Eventually, he meets an escort named Riley (Melissa O’Brien) that he feels a special affinity towards, but Erica warns him that she’ll only break his heart. Still, Carter forges ahead with his pursuit. Unfortunately for Riley, she has been designated as the woman who will give birth to Cthulu, the great god of Lovecraftian lore, by an evil, ancient cult. When Carter realizes that Cthulu’s birth portends the end of mankind as we know it, he knows he must stop the cult. Not only to save mankind, but to make sure that Riley survives so that he won’t die a virgin. Meanwhile, professor Edna Curwen (Helenmary Ball), a tough as nails girl named Squid (Sabrina Taylor-Smith) & 2 lesbians who have a really hard time keeping their hands off of each other are in pursuit of The Necronomicon, which is in the hands of Sebastian Suydum (Dave Gamble), the leader of the nefarious cult looking to bring on an apocalyptic end to mankind.

After reading that last paragraph, you can pretty much tell that Call Girl Of Cthulu isn’t taking itself too seriously, and that’s exactly what co-writer/director Chris LaMartina wants. The script (Co-written by Jimmy George) introduces the main characters very quickly with very little fanfare, but thanks to the obvious fun that everyone in the cast seems to be having, you’ll feel like you know them all very quickly. Additionally, the script is so full of references to Lovecraft’s work that the fun that LaMartina & George must’ve had writing it is fairly infectious. To make the fun even more pervasive, scenes are linked together with a wonderfully inventive set of visual transitions that get more creative as they continue. Indeed, while the film has a lot of fun messing with a lot of the standard Lovecraftian tropes, it respects them totally.

The cast is certainly game for whatever madness the script tosses at them. Carollo plays the role of Carter with a true sense of chivalry & honor (Despite the fact that he has other reasons why he wants to stop the cult from succeeding – mainly getting laid). O’Brien & Le Faye are really appealing in the female lead roles and although a lot of the first half of the film features lots & lots of boobs, the script takes the time to give its female characters some appreciated characterization during its second half, making them much more than what I was expecting them to be. And while Gamble goes a little over the top in his characterization of Sebastian, it’s never to the point where I felt irritated by the character. In short, the cast is fully invested in their roles and they do their very best to sell their respective characters.

Being based on the work of Lovecraft, you would imagine that there are lots of tentacles and slime on display in Call Girl Of Cthulu – and you’d be absolutely right! Rather than take the more subdued look of earlier films based on Lovecraft’s work like The Dunwich Horror (1970), LaMartina decided to channel his inner Stuart Gordon (Director of Re-Animator & From Beyond) and turn the gore dial up to 10. Jason M. Koch & Kaleigh Brown do a outstanding job of ladling on the gore, grue & tentacles in equal amounts, without the use of CGI (Which came as a welcome relief to me). Although operating with a low budget, the cast & crew never let that get in the way of getting the most bang for their buck. There are moments that look extremely cheap & low brow, but most of the film looks so good that the few moments in which the meager budget showed through didn’t really bother me.

Call Girl Of Cthulu doesn’t want to do anything other than entertain its audience and does a masterful job of doing so. The film makers love and respect for the work of Lovecraft shines through in nearly every frame of the film, and the cast gives fully gives itself over to the sheer lunacy of the script as well. While the film isn’t perfect, its heart is in the right place and I had a hell of a good time watching it. I think you will too.

Call Girl Of Cthulu – 3.5 out of 5 shrouds.