Film Review: Deadly Detour: The Goat Man Murders (2011)

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SYNOPSIS:

It’s a ride you’ll never forget…really.

REVIEW:

If a fat guy takes a sh*t in the woods does he wipe his ass? This movie wins points for the most excrement I have seen in a long time. The puke per minute quota is off the charts.

So it starts off with a couple trying to make out in the car as a bloody chick comes running up getting blood all over the car and the guy has to go check it out. Now this sets the tone for the movie in a long list of dumb sh*t that people do to move this movie along.

After the two of them get butchered by a creepy guy in a mask we hit the main characters who are driving to the south from Jersey for some reason while they smoke and drink and stop at a rest stop so the big guy can piss. Now if you don’t like seeing male ass you might want to avoid this movie. The topless girl to bottomless guy ratio is pretty poor. At the rest stop they find some guy eating sh*t in the bathroom, which causes the fat guy to run outside and take a leak on the tree- finding a disemboweled person that they assume is a goat. The hipster kid tells them the myth about a ‘goat killer something’ and after some vomiting they hit the road while weirdo townies stare at them. I don’t really get the point of these kids being in the movie except maybe they just wanted to be in the flick and their friend/brother/girlfriend was in it and said “Sure, why not.”

The group stops their cars after one breaks down and decide to continue smoking weed, drinking and f*cking in the woods. It’s pretty much typical slasher flick from there on out. Some people die, some people live and some try to run away and die.

There are a few scenes thrown in for shock value and pretty graphic, but it adds to the enjoyment of a gore-freak fan base. The scenes are pretty twisted and the special effects are decent for a low-budget which I can only assume was shot in about 2-3 days.

I’m guessing this is a comedy and based on the last scene alone. If it’s not- then I don’t understand life anymore. Also, SPOILER ALERT, blind people aren’t retarded so I don’t know why they moan instead of speak and just sit on a bus while other people are clearly getting chopped up next to them. Seriously cover your eyes and listen to that scene. You can tell people are getting chopped up right?

You wouldn’t just sit in your seat shaking and grunting. Then the girl who was being chased instead of running out the back door just sits there with her hands over her ears like a little lost child? You are in the last row, the emergency exit is right there- go for it dumbass! Yeah I pretty much ruined the movie for you, but if you’re watching this anyway you don’t care and you just like to see gore and let me tell you, they are keeping the fake blood industry in business with this one. It is what it is and you get exactly what you expect.

Deadly Detour: The Goat Man Murders (2011)