Movie Review: Saurians

Saurians Movie Review bv Matt Boiselle

Saurians – directed and written by Mark Polonia, and starring Mark Polonia, Todd Carpenter and Maria Davis

Synopsis: When a construction blast occurs in a small town, the locals discover that the explosion has awakened two of the most vicious, destructive dinosaurs this side of the Jurassic era.

Whew…I mean where in this side of the equator could I possibly begin with this film? I’ve seen some pretty raggedy arthouse stuff over the course of my reviewing time: all of it being noteworthy for reasons both good and bad – and then there’s Director Mark Polonia’s dinosaurs-gone-awry product from 1994, “Saurians”. Settle in, lunatics – this one has the propensity to get VERY messy once I dive in.

Shot on super-8 film back in the early 90’s, Polonia does the all-knowing, all performing role as he directed, produced, written, edited and acted in this presentation about dinosaurs that have been awoken in the small town that he resides in as a scientist. Relaxing time spent in the woods with his girlfriend and pal is cut short when the meat-eaters are blasted awake by a “boo-boo” from a construction company in the area, and we’re off to the races. When the “dinos” eventually attack, it simply is the stuff of cinematic legend – the overgrown lizards have he look of one of those Spirit Halloween inflatable costumes that was filled with mashed potatoes and spray-painted with the utmost of recklessness. Visually, the entire layout is given up like a computer graphics intern fell asleep at his keyboard with his assignment half-completed. Camera shots are stalled out, the film’s pacing needs a hit from a defibrillator every 10 minutes or so, and then we leap headfirst into the performances…dear dark lords, help us all.

With emotionless and trite expressions on the entire casts’ faces as a whole, the entire show reel-to-reel gives the emotion of someone waiting for the bus…all day long, with no bus in sight. Now with this at-times catastrophic exhibit freshly dug up from the tomb and dusted off for Blu-ray, we’re treated to a buffet of extras to compliment the film (which will be listed below), so if you’re in the mood to watch a dinosaur film, and not one single installment of the “Jurassic Park” franchise is readily available…even in another language, may I suggest “Saurians”? Trust me, it will be a cinematic experience like no other you’ve ever wanted to go through before…WHOA. Hop on over to MVDShop.com right now and grab yourself a copy before the dinos come looking for you.

Special Features Include:

New director-approved SD master from original tape elements
Commentary with director Mark Polonia, moderated by the Visual Vengeance crew
The Making of Saurians
Saurians Locations Visit
Actor Todd Carpenter Interview
Kevin Lindenmuth Interview
Saurians Stop Motion Outtakes
Saurians Super 8 Raw Footage
Alternate, never released Rae Don Home Video version of Saurians
Commentary track for Rae Don version with director Mark Polonia, and the Visual Vengeance crew
Bonus Feature Film: The Dinosaur Chronicles (2004)
Commentary track for The Dinosaur Chronicles with director Mark Polonia and the Visual Vengeance crew
The Making of The Dinosaur Chronicles
Saurians Visual Vengeance Trailer
The Dinosaur Chronicles Visual Vengeance Trailer
Saurians 2 Trailer
Visual Vengeance trailers
‘Stick Your Own’ VHS sticker set
Reversible sleeve featuring original Saurians VHS art
Folded mini-poster with alternate vintage promotional art
Optional English subtitles
Limited Edition O-Card – FIRST PRESSING ONLY
Limited Edition rare, original piece of Super-8 film from the movie – FIRST PRESSING ONLY