All right children, no jokes. Not today. Nope. Today, weâ€™re not f*cking around. This clip was a submission of sorts from everyoneâ€™s favorite brutally honest critic, Horrornews.netâ€™s very own Mikey Rots. Mr. Rots showed me this video a few months ago and it has been sitting in the back of my head like a tumor, simply waiting for the right moment to get featured. He sent me the link the other day, like I forgot about this video, like one could forget about this video. I assure you children; youâ€™ll never be able to wash this out of your eyes.
Weâ€™ve been talking about phobias this week, and this video is here to wrap it all up. Though, Iâ€™m not exactly sure what phobia this could be related to. More over, Iâ€™m not even sure that one exists. I think one should be created specifically for this video, and I guarantee, everyone whose eyes this thing pierces will carry that phobia with them to the grave.
Iâ€™m actually afraid to feature this video, and for a few different reasons. Firstly, itâ€™s f*cking scary, bottom line. Secondly, this woman (actually a man) is real. It really exists, and it makes me feel terrible to put her on display while discussing just how goddamn scary he-she is. However, this video was posted, presumably by herm, so I canâ€™t feel too bad about it. Apparently, from what I understand, sheâ€™s available for shows. You can hire this creature and for a nominal fee, it will come and perform. This is perhaps the most disturbing aspect of the whole thing. And lastly, the reason Iâ€™m most afraid to feature it is this. My column here is founded on the basic principle of wrangling up the scariest, most disturbing, unsettling and straight up f*cking bonkers videos the Internet has to offer. Now there are an insane number of videos out there floating through the air, and I certainly havenâ€™t seen them all. My fear – my phobia children – is that there isnâ€™t anything that will creep me out more than this video does every time I watch it. Where do I go from here? A bunch of silly clips with some methocel blood or a homemade werewolf costume? Some chickens getting punched into meat grinders? Vincent Price selling paintings for Sears?
Iâ€™ve always held onto the notion that, while disgusting and gory nonsense can be frightening, less is more, particularly where horror is concerned. â€śNight of the Living Deadâ€ť always scared me a lot more than â€śFriday the 13th Part 6.â€ť â€śBased of a true storyâ€ť always upset me more than â€śbased on some jackass who thought it would be really neat to see Pinhead in space.â€ť I could witness the most horrifying sh*t on the Internet and Iâ€™m not sure if it would unnerve me like this simple, seemingly harmless video does. You may agree. You may not. Hell, It may not bother you at all cause youâ€™ve seen every Guinea Pig short, laughed at Men Behind the Sun and jerked off to Cannibal Holocaust, and now youâ€™ve lost whatever shred of respect you didnâ€™t have for me in the first place. Well, hereâ€™s the facts, Jack. This is Video Madness with Professor Fiendy. Not Video Madness with You and Your Horror Nerd Pals Who Donâ€™t Shudder For Shit. Iâ€™m not so desensitized to the world that sh*t doesnâ€™t creep me out. And this Video, well â€“ it seriously creeps me the f*ck out.
Without any further bullsh*t, I give you â€śThe Goddess Bunny.â€ť