Film Review: Samurai Princess (2009)

This is my first review here at HorrorNews.net and I am extremely excited to join this team filled with amazing people who share the same obsessive, stalker-type love that I do with all things horror and the macabre. For my first review, I chose a movie in one of my favorite genre of horror flicks, cheesy Japanese horror-action!

SYNOPSIS:

When 11 of her friends are raped and murdered, leaving the Samurai Princess the only survivor, she becomes infused with her comrades’ souls. Transformed into an android, she sets out to avenge their deaths.

REVIEW:

The movie begins with an attractive girl slicing and dicing her way through a seemingly dimwitted male who does not know that a hot Asian girl with a samurai sword is best left alone. As the body parts are flying off left and right, they land into a pot cooking on an open fire. She proceeds to feed the human meat to the dead person’s unsuspecting friends. After the people realize that they have been chowing down on their friend, the sword-wielding girl shows them a flyer inquiring the whereabouts of a man and woman (who turns out to be their boss). When the first person will not answer her questions, she rips the top of his skull off, pulls his brain out and attaches a line, which she conveniently pulls from the back of her neck, into his brain. This gives her the ability to read the man’s thoughts and memories (and what woman doesn’t want that ability?). Unfortunately, she cannot get any useful information from it since she has squished his brain between her fingers. She than turns her attention to the second person who fled while the sword-wielding girl was preoccupied. She proceeds to pull her breasts off, hook them together and hurl them at the guy. Her breasts rip through the middle of the guy’s head leaving one heck of a mess.

By now you are probably wondering how this hot girl can rip her breasts off and use them as weapons. That is when the back-story kicks in. While frolicking in the river a group of friends are brutally attacked and raped by three criminals (the three guys who the sword-wielding girl killed at the beginning of the movie). During the attack, two of the girls escape and stumble upon a pile of body parts when they are surrounding by the three criminals and taken to their boss. The boss fills the two kidnapped girls in on his creations; he turns body parts and people into mechas. Mechas (for those who are not as geeky as I am) are robots (or cyborgs in some instances) that can be found in Japanese anima and manga. After revealing his secret to the frightened young woman, he begins to cut one of the girls in half with his chainsaw leg. Before we can see what happens to the two young woman, the film cuts to a Nun who catches a mad scientist named Kyoraku rummaging through the pile of body parts. They exchange disapproving comments to each other and Kyoraku lets it slip that he created “the boss” but disapproves of his “creations”. The Nun discovers a brutally mutilated girl hidden under all the body parts. Kyoraku offers the girl the ability to become a mecha, which she agrees to. The Nun, despite her reservations, decides to place the souls of the 11 dead girls into the mecha’s body. This mecha is the sword-wielding girl that you meet at the beginning of the movie.

After the back-story ends, you learn that the Nun is telling the story to Gekko, a guitar-carrying criminal with a heart. The Nun regrets her decision to help Kyoraku and tells Gekko to find the mecha and inform her that after she is finished seeking revenge, she will carry her soul into heaven so it can rest.

When the Gekko finds the Samurai Princess, she insults his penis size and the two become friends. Off in the distance are two women who are hunting down mechas including Gekko who was once a member of the hunt until he had his hand modified and is now considered a mecha. The two mecha hunters corner the Samurai Princess and Gekko but they manage to escape when Gekko begins to play his guitar so fast that the sound waves pushes the hunters back, giving the princess and him enough time to flee so they can have some hot mecha sex that may or may not have been a dream.

Not to be out done by the Samurai Princess, Gekko has his own mildly interesting backstory about how Kyoraku turned his sister into a mecha which turned her crazy and she killed their parents and cut off his hand. During one of her lucid moments, Gekko’s sister begged him to kill her and, despite his hesitation, he complied. This filled Gekko with rage and he vowed to find Kyoraku and kill him.

The Samurai Princess and Gekko catch up to the boss and his girlfriend and an all-out mecha fight ensues. However, it is short lived. Within a few moments, the Princess has killed both the boss and his girlfriend. The Princess and Gekko set off to find Kyoraku, who stumbles upon the bodies of the boss and his girlfriend. And like humpty dumpty, he puts them back together again. Actually, he combines them together and creates his “perfect creation” which he unleashes onto the Princess and Gekko. The Princess and “perfect creation” go head to head against each other and the Princess takes one heck of a beating. Severely damaged, the souls of the dead girls help the Princess to fight the “perfect creation” and take it down once and for all. Meanwhile, Gekko corners Kyoraku and finally gets his revenge for his sister.

The Samurai Princess is written and directed by Kengo Kaji who also wrote the wonderful over-the-top gore-fest Tokyo Gore Police. However, it lacks the interesting plot and charismatic characters that makes movies such as Tokyo Gore Police and Machine Girl so great. The Samurai Princess stars the adult video star Aino Kishi who is easy on the eyes and gives a few full frontal shots for those interested in that sort of thing. The film is filled with both CGI and practical effects. The practical effects were executed quite well. However, the CGI fell flat and made the movie look even more low budget then it already is. The acting is . . . well . . . bad. Hey, I am just being honest here. But it is not so bad that you cannot sit back, laugh and enjoy the movie for what it is, an entertaining gore fest that requires no thinking what so ever.

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About Amanda Flanigan

Mother, wife, photographer, freelance writer, zombie killer and demon hunter. Horror movie fanatic, gamer girl & geeky geek living in the hills of West Virginia. Trying to make it through this crazy thing called life with as low of a body count as possible.

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