12 Bad Jokes About Daybreakers

Daybreakers (2009), is a vampire film noir hybrid, with a futuristic vein (see what I did there?), starring Ethan Hawke, Sam Neil and Willem Dafoe. It is directed by the Spierig brothers, Michael and Peter. The film is about a human blood shortage affecting the vampires and the struggle to find a suitable replacement. It’s quite stylish and entertaining. So there’s… wait. I think…yes, there will be…Mwhuhuhuhahahahaha!

1) The film’s opening sequence, had a vampire girl facing a sunrise. Obviously,she forgot her sunscreen. Because, she got so burnt! OMG!

2) Get yer ears on for this one, good buddies! What Ethan Hawke / Sam Neil movie involves vampiric truckers, calling on C. B. radios?

Daybreakers, Breakers!

3) What film do you get by crossing a George Romero classic and a Vampires ruling the earth film?

Daybreakers of the Dead!

4) The first test subject that received a blood substitute, had an interesting last few words. He said,”Wow, this stuff blows my mind! Unfortunately for him, it actually did. Really. In a bloody explosion!

5) What do you get by crossing an old sitcom with Valerie Bertinelli and a vampire film?

One Daybreaker at a Time!

6) Watching Ethan Hawke and his brother’s characters fighting in Daybreakers, makes me think that this is a real “blood – feud. “

7) What vampire band do you get by crossing a flamboyant musician and his group from Purple Rain and Daybreakers?

Morris Daybreakers and the Time!

8) What vampire movie is about finding a blood supply for an actress from the 50’s and 60’s?

Doris Daybreakers!

9) Why is Jared the Subway pitchman, angry?

Because Daybreakers used the term “Subwalk “, to describe a series of well kept tunnels for vampires. He thought he patented the phrase!

10) What Elvis lyric would describe Willem Dafoe’s character getting stuck in the sunlight while still being a vampire?

Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love!

11) What Monkees song would go well with this film?

Daybreakers Believer!

12) There’s a deleted scene from the film’s ending, where Ethan Hawke’s character, now human, stops for donuts. How many did he get?

A Daybreakers Dozen!!

Oh. Brother. We raked this one over the coals. This film, that reminds us of Gattica. But, in a good way. Oh, why did we take 12 swings at it? Well, that’s our job. It was an enjoyable film to watch and poke fun at. Oh, Maniacs. To read these, must give you such  nausea. A headache maybe? A groan? Something? Tune in soon, for more dreck! Take care!