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Top 5 Macabre Families Horror Fans Wish They Could Have Grown Up With

Television families have always been a staple from every generation since the dawning of the Boob tube. Most of the generations have grown up watching The Cleavers, The Osmonds, The Jacksons, The Partridges, and the Bradys among others but thankfully true horror fans have had families to grow up watching as well. We are gonna talk about the top horror/macabre families that most horror fans wished they could have grown up with and it will be up to you to decide which you would have fallen into. (Listed in no particular order)


Yooooooooou rang? Your parents are a hormonally supped up pair of French speaking fiends who allow you to do pretty much anything in the world you would like and find it extremely endearing. Your uncle is a flighty man who lights up any room he walks into…literally with a light bulb in his mouth. Your grandmother can cook up any potion in the world (tasty ones too) and is always around to hex people for a good laugh. Best part of this family, you can do anything you want with no consequences! You can electrocute your siblings, throw knives at your father, even feed people to your wide array of exotic (and seemingly fictitious) pets and it all works out well in the end. Everyone leaves unscathed (at least physically).


Who doesn’t love a good dose off humor in every aspect of your life? Your mother may be a bit of a moral compass but the good part is your father goofs up enough for the entire family! This family includes a vampire/bat for a Grandpa for makes sometimes flawed potions in the torture chamber, a werewolf for a brother, Frankenstein’s monster and his bride for parents, and a really hot cousin. When you aren’t occupied with cornball situations that always end up with a moral and comedic lesson, you get to ride around in one of the bad ass, most awesome, vehicle known to man!


Extremely rich, extremely privileged, and extremely unaware that your great Uncle is a vampire who comes back from a long rest to reclaim his place in the mansion and brings a series of evil entities to resume a battle that started hundreds of years ago. You may have to battle the supernatural to stay alive but damn do you look good doing it. Plus, who wouldn’t want to be related to one of the most dashing vampires that ever existed? And with all of the random people who keep disappearing, well no more waiting in line for that ticket stub for the next blockbuster in theaters.


Sadie and Krug may not seem as stable as the Osmond’s (the Donnie and Marie parasites) but are the Osmond’s really as stable as they seem anyway? They multiply more than c**kroaches at a whore motel. Moving on… Free drugs, all the sex and mayhem you could ask for with no repercussions, and getting to travel the country with some of the most free spirited and unpredictable people the world have ever seen. You may have to watch a few people piss their pants from time to time but that’s a small price to pay for living on your own terms and being a free spirit.


Who doesn’t love a good dinner party? In this family, you can either have people over for dinner or…well literally have people for dinner. If you are into arts and crafts and find yourself incredibly resourceful, this is the family for you. After your one of brothers lures unwitting twits to home and your other brother chops them up, you can use the rest of their materials to make fantastic furniture, a new mask for your overly shy brother, or cook up an amazing meal out of fornicating pot smoking travelers. Sure, Grandpa may look like something the worms forgot and your brother’s whining can get on your nerves, and you may even have to take a sharp beating from your Dad on occasion, but you always have love…and pictures (even if you have to pay for them.)

Tell us below in the comment section who you wish you could have grown up with!
Did we miss any, leave your favorite macabre family in the comment section and tell us why you would want to be a part of their brood.

One comment

  1. The biker gang in the 1978 version of DAWN OF THE DEAD. Technically, they’re a family and well armed! Course, like all families, they have their problems and sibling rivalries and occasionally someone has be to shunned when they’re doing wrong…but you can’t say there’s no love there. No greater love than the one with your biker family! (The family I wouldn’t want to hang with would be the one in RED STATE. Those guys have issues! Serious issues.)


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