Home | Film Reviews (page 195)

For a List ONLY view of all Film Reviews

Film Reviews

Film Review: The Thaw (2009)

The-Thaw-movie-image2

SYNOPSIS: When a team of ecology students assisting an environmentalist (Val Kilmer) in the Arctic uncovers the frozen body of a woolly mammoth, they unwittingly release a parasite in need of a new host — and, in the process, unleash a prehistoric terror. The ante is significantly upped when the parasite takes refuge inside the students’ warm-blooded bodies and leads …

Read More »

Film Review: Stan Helsing (2009)

stan-helsing_movie4

SYNOPSIS: When he makes a late-night movie delivery to a strange town on Halloween, video store counter jockey Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) finds himself hunted by a who’s who of slasher-film killers, including Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers and Leatherface. Now, Stan and his pals must use their knowledge of horror flicks to defeat the villains and hack their way to …

Read More »

Film Review: The Steam Experiment (aka Chaos Experiment) (2009)

The-Steam-Experiment-6

SYNOPSIS: A former professor (Kilmer) concocts a brutal experiment in order to get the word out on the effects of global warming. By trapping six people in an urban Turkish bathhouse, he vows to overheat his hostages unless his global-warming hypothesis is published on the front page of his local paper. REVIEW: Written by: Robert Malkani Directed by: Philippe Martinez …

Read More »

Film Review: The Substitute (2007)

thesubstitute-1

SYNOPSIS: Something about the new sixth-grade substitute just isn’t quite right. Even though she’s managed to charm all the parents, the students are convinced that Ulla’s ((Paprika Steen) ) cold, eccentric, mind-reading behavior is anything but normal. When they discover that their new sub is actually a menacing alien, Carl (Jonas Wandschneider) and the rest of the students band together …

Read More »

Film Review: The Uninvited (2009)

the-uninvited-1

SYNOPSIS: The Uninvited tells the tale of former loony-bin inhabitant Anna, who is just being released from an institution after the fiery death of her nightmare-inducing, sickly mother. While happy to be back with her sister, she is very wary of her father’s new girlfriend, Rachael, a (super attractive) nurse who took care of her mother up until the explosiony …

Read More »

Film Review: Stuck (2007)

stuck_3

SYNOPSIS: Driving home after a night of partying, Brandi (Mena Suvari) accidentally crashes into pedestrian Tom (Stephen Rea), who gets stuck in her car’s windshield. Brandi struggles with whether to help save this man’s life or simply let him die and thereby protect her career. In extreme pain and with little time left to live, Tom pleads for Brandi’s help …

Read More »

Film Review: The Mist (2007)

the-mist-7

SYNOPSIS: After a terrible storm, a curious mist slowly engulfs a small New England town. As it approaches a local grocery store, a man runs screaming from the obscure haze, “There’s something in the mist”! Artist, David Drayton, his son, and the rest of the customers must await their fate inside the store, locked away from this frightening fog. Their …

Read More »

Film Review: Bikini Party Massacre (2002)

bikini_massacre_1

SYNOPSIS: Your Wildest Fantasy Will Become Your Worst Nightmare REVIEW: I’ve actually watched Joseph Clark’s “Massacre”, a.k.a. “Bikini Party Massacre”, quite intently (even the end credits) several times over the years (owing to becoming online friends with a couple of the cast members) but I’m absolutely sure that there wasn’t a bikini party anywhere in it. I did however see …

Read More »

Film Review: Spree (2008)

Spree-movie-1

SYNOPSIS: Tired of their dreary lives, college roommates Wes (Joe Uras), Alex (Josh Rainone), Kevin (Ryan McDermott) and Damien (Mark Jones) decide to go on a murder spree across the country in this humor-tinged slasher flick. So the four split into teams for a lethal game: each duo murders a person in every state. But the team that loses must …

Read More »

Film Review: Text (2008)

TEXT_1

SYNOPSIS: Four friends search for the answers to a series of deadly text messages killing students at their high school. REVIEW: Oh my gosh, did you ever see one of those films that drags so much, is so incomprehensible, is littered with mundane acting and had no plot points that you can even really grasp any meaning of? Well “Text” …

Read More »

Film Review: Teeth (2007)

teeth_2

SYNOPSIS: When virtuous high school student Dawn (Jess Weixler) becomes the victim of a sexual assault, she discovers that she has an unexpected line of defense: a toothed vagina. But for Dawn, coming to terms with the power and dangers of her anatomical anomaly may be easier said than done. Director Mitchell Lichtenstein’s provocative feminist horror flick also stars John …

Read More »

Film Review: The Strangers (2008)

The Strangers movie poster

SYNOPSIS: In this heart-pounding thriller, young suburban couple James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler) welcome the peace and quiet of a secluded family vacation home — that is, until three masked home invaders make them realize how dangerous isolation can be. Written and directed by Bryan Bertino, the film also stars Australian supermodel Gemma Ward, Kip Weeks, Glenn Howerton …

Read More »

Film Review: The Unborn (2009)

unborn_1

SYNOPSIS: Tortured by frightening dreams at night and the ghost of a young boy during the day, young Casey (Odette Yustman) turns to a spiritual adviser named Rabbi Sendak (Gary Oldman) for help. Together, the two uncover and try to stop a powerful family curse dating back to the Nazi era. David S. Goyer writes and directs this supernatural thriller …

Read More »

Film Review: The ToolBox Murders (1978)

TOOLBOX1

SYNOPSIS: Bit by bit, he carved a nightmare! In a quiet Los Angeles apartment complex, a deranged handyman savagely murders “immoral” women with the tools of his trade: clawhammers, screwdrivers, power drills and even a deadly nail gun. But these gruesome murders are just the beginning of this landmark epic of violence and depravity that was vilified by critics, banned …

Read More »