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Film Reviews

Film Review: Vamp U (2013)

SYNOPSIS: An ancient vampire who has renounced drinking human blood since killing his one true love finds his passion reawakened when the woman’s double enrols at the university where he teaches history. REVIEW: Also released under the terrible title DR LIMPTOOTH this movie turned out to be one of the most pleasant surprises I’ve had for quite some time. An …

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Film Review: Gremlins (1984)

SYNOPSIS: A boy inadvertently breaks 3 important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town. REVIEW: I was but an innocent teenager when I managed to finagle my way into a free screening of Joe Dante’s amazing “Gremlins”. Well, actually I wasn’t all that innocent but it sounded good didn’t it? …

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Film Review: Mulberry Street (2006)

SYNOPSIS: A mysterious virus creates pandemonium as it spreads through the Big Apple in this eerie creature feature that gives new meaning to the term rat race. On a scorching day in Manhattan, the denizens of a tumbledown tenement on Mulberry Street grouse about the heat, but as night falls, they find themselves battling a horde of mutants turning powerless …

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Film Review: Barricade (2007)

SYNOPSIS: Camping in Germany, a group of friends encounter a tribe of violent cannibals in the woods. A lovely summer afternoon quickly turns into a fight for survival. Well what do you expect, camping in a place ominously known as The Black Forest? REVIEW: In a world in which we now have five Wrong Turn movies, seven Texas Chainsaw Massacres …

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Film Review: Seven Psychopaths (2012)

SYNOPSIS: A screenwriter pressing for deadlines is oblivious to becoming entangled in a vendetta between his best friend and a mafia boss whose dog has been kidnapped. REVIEW: Directed By: Martin McDonagh Starring: Sam Rockwell, Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken, Woody Harrelson Ever since first witnessing the initial trailers and advertisements for Seven Psychopaths I’d been dying to see this picture. …

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Film Review: Arachnophobia (1990)

SYNOPSIS: South American killer spider hitches a lift to the US in a coffin and starts to breed and kill. REVIEW: Whilst this can hardly be defined as a horror film (it actually ended up being marketed as a ‘thrill-omedy’), there were still several moments which genuinely made my skin crawl. There’s just something about spiders which are inherently scary …

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Film Review: A Fucking Cruel Nightmare (2010)

  SYNOPSIS: In what may or may not all be a (f*cking cruel) nightmare, a man wanders around a series of plastic-coated corridors, observing as a number of helpless victims are brutally murdered before him. Tables are turned slightly for the nightmare’s second half, but it’s still just another forty five minutes of repetitive torture. That’s about it, where plot …

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Film Review: Fun Size (2012)

SYNOPSIS: When a troubled but whip-smart teen girl loses her oddball little brother on Halloween, she has one desperate night to track him down REVIEWS: There could be no deeper horror to a parent or loved one than a child gone missing. Those who have braved the misfortune of such a calamity would rather engage in a bloody battle to …

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Film Review: Maleficarum (2011)

SYNOPSIS: Maria Francisca, a wealthy young heiress and her friend Mariana De Castro, a young protestant widow, are accused of witchcraft and taken before the Inquisition. REVIEW: There is something about these Inquisition films, that really strike a chord with me. Maybe it’s that combination of right and wrong all combined that seems so absurd but real for the times …

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Film Review: Cabin Fever (2002)

SYNOPSIS: A group of five college graduates rent a cabin in the woods and begin to fall victim to a horrifying flesh-eating virus, which attracts the unwanted attention of the homicidal locals. REVIEW: Recommended by Peter Jackson (most known for directing epic films such as The Lord of the Rings trilogy, King Kong and, most recently, The Hobbit: An Unexpected …

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Film Review: One Missed Call (2003)

SYNOPSIS: People mysteriously start receiving voicemail messages from their future selves, in the form of the sound of them reacting to their own violent deaths. REVIEW: I’m sure I can’t be the only one who, upon seeing the words ‘directed by Takashi Miike’ flashing up on the screen, thinks: ‘Brace yourself. This is going to be pretty unpleasant.’ In certain …

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