Film Reviews

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A man is terrorized by Girl Scouts selling ‘delicious’ cookies. REVIEW: Mixing horror with comedy can often have disastrous consequences if not done well, yet Get Off My Porch managed to pull this off with ease! Ok, so it’s not exactly the scariest short film out there, but I liked the quirkiness of it and thought …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A newer, gorier version of the classic 1910 Gaston Leroux tale has A Nightmare on Elm Street’s Robert Englund playing the Phantom. Christine Daaé is a young Broadway singer in New York City. She is auditioning for a show, and comes across an old piece of music written nearly 100 years before by an unknown musician …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Ten years have passed, and Sidney Prescott, who has put herself back together thanks in part to her writing, is visited by the Ghostface Killer. REVIEW: Scream 4 returns in full force making a parody of itself in almost perfection. The trend of second guessing the outcome of horror films seems to have caught on so …

Rate This Movie (aka Kuchisake-onna) SYNOPSIS: Three decades ago, a Japanese suburb was terrorized by the vengeful spirit of a woman in a surgical mask who asked victims, “Am I pretty?” before slaughtering them. Now, children in this community are disappearing again, leaving police and teachers to discover the reason and put an end to the new wave of carnage. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A professor and three of his students camp out in the wilderness to find a Bigfoot-type creature. REVIEW: More years back than I can count on my fingers and toes, I used to go to a Saturday matinee in Pryor, Oklahoma at the Allred Theater. They had an odd idea of what constituted a “kids” movie. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits. REVIEW: As someone who genuinely believes The Conjuring to be one of the scariest films he’s ever seen, I could not mask my joy (& trepidation) at the prospect of a sequel. …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A biological experiment in Florida goes awry. The result: 8-foot long land crabs which roar loudly and kill everything in sight. REVIEW: The premise of Island Claws is totally ridiculous. It’s important to get that observation right out front in this review, because if you’re looking for a really good film about killer crabs, something akin …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Seth and Jonah are twins born with a dangerous ability, They can influence people’s minds & make them see things that aren’t there. Things start to spiral out of their control as their classmates end up dying in twisted and bizarre ways. The police suspect them. But, jealousy begins to divide them and soon they can …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A newly positioned lighthouse caretaker is haunted by a dark force and mysterious presence. Unlikely assistance is given to bring justice to the dark forces that lie within the lighthouse grounds.  REVIEW: The Forlorned is a new horror film from writer/director Andrew Wiest, who is also known for Pizza, Pesos, and Pistoleros (2004), Dead Noon (2007), …

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: “Sir James Bond is enjoying his retirement when four international agents press him into service again in hopes of smashing SMERSH and topple Le Chiffre at the baccarat tables. Bond is taken in by Agent Mimi (alias Lady Fiona McTarry) who immediately falls in love with him. Bond’s illegitimate daughter, Mata Bond, whose mother was the late …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A movie created from “found footage” of a lost military expedition that exposes the origins of life on earth. REVIEW: My first thought when hearing the title “Alien: Origin” from the folks over at The Asylum I assumed it would be some sort of “Prometheus” mockbuster. Instead, I just sat through a film that ran just …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: It’s Christmas eve in Strangeville. The demented duo, Nixon and Hogan, have asked Santa for some sweet, sweet Yule tide weed for their favorite holiday. Unfortunately, Santa mixes up the Christmas weed with Voodoo Zombie weed and smokes himself undead! Now it’s up to our dim-witted heroes to finish Santa’s delivery route or face the end …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Heather Mason and her father have been on the run, always one step ahead of dangerous forces that she doesn’t fully understand, Now on the eve of her 18th birthday, plagued by horrific nightmares and the disappearance of her father, Heather discovers she’s not who she thinks she is. The revelation leads her deeper into a …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Ricky is a mentally unstable young man who decides to follow in his psychotic brother’s footsteps and go on a killing spree dressed as Santa Claus. REVIEW: It’s Christmas, and one of the Martin family’s long-standing holiday traditions is to watch Silent Night, Deadly Night (and the original Black Christmas) the Saturday night before X-mas. This …

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: When an atomic war on Mars destroys the planet’s women, it’s up to Martian Princess Marcuzan and her right-hand man Dr. Nadir to travel to earth and kidnap women for new breeding stock. Landing in Puerto Rico, they shoot down a NASA space capsule manned by an android. With his electronic brain damaged, the android terrorizes …