Author Archives: The Black Saint

Film Review: Phantom Of Death (1988)

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SYNOPSIS: Police Comissioner Datti is investigating the murder of a female doctor whose murderer seems to be a thirty-fivish year old man. Soon another murder follows: Pianist Robert Dominici’s girlfriend is found killed. The killer also challenges Datti on the phone and says he can’t be caught since he has a secret which makes him invulnerable. In the meantime the clues seems to point in strange directions… REVIEW: Day 5 of this misbegotten 80’s experiment … Continue reading

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Film Review: Men In Black 3 (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Agent J travels in time to MIB’s early years in the 1960s, to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history. REVIEW: When “MIB 3” was rumored to be going into production without a completed script I thought it was going to be just as bad, if not worse than “MIB 2″ which was really just plain awful. Lo & behold, not only is it quite a bit better than … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Jar (1984)

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SYNOPSIS: A motorist who comes upon an auto accident finds a bottle at the scene. The bottle contains a demon who proceeds to possess him. REVIEW: Day 4 of the 80’s experiment and I am fated to watch something called “The Jar“. Oddly enough I vaguely remember this title from way back when I used to work at a video rental joint in Manhattan (Rent N’ Run Video). I remember it looking pretty cheesy but … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Ghost Dance (1980)

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SYNOPSIS: The spirit of a long-dead warrior possesses the body of an Indian medicine man and turns him into a homicidal maniac. REVIEW: Day 3 of the the 80’s experiment. I am bloodied but still I rise to insert the next movie into my DVD player and see what my nefarious editor has demanded I review. Today the movie is something called “The Ghost Dance” and as it begins I’m presented with an interesting dilemma. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Battleship (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals. REVIEW: What is it with Hollywood & Taylor Kitsch all of a sudden? More importantly, what is it with Taylor Kitsch being cast in not one but TWO movies with $200 million dollar budgets this year? Does Hollywood know something we don’t? Maybe they do…maybe they don’t. Last month’s “John … Continue reading

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Film Review: Hell Penitentiary (1985)

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SYNOPSIS: Julia, a famous physician, infiltrates a prison in an attempt to find a witness to her sister’s killing, but instead she becomes the victim of a sadistic warden’s sexual brutality. REVIEW: Day 2 of the 80’s experiment. For those of you who don’t know, here at HNN we’re trying to get into films from wayback in the 70’s & 80’s. Films that you might never have heard of but might want to see after … Continue reading

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Film Review: Dark Shadows (2012)

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SYNOPSIS:  An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection. REVIEW: Sadly I am old enough to remember watching “Dark Shadows” when it originally aired on daytime TV. I wasn’t a real fan of it but my mother was & I would come home from school to find her watching it. I watched along with her every so often but … Continue reading

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Film Review: Greedy Terror (1985)

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SYNOPSIS: A trilogy of horror stories with ironic twists: a teenager tries out a love potion, a waitress gets involved in a kidnapping plot, two brothers plan to cheat an insurance company by faking their death. REVIEW: Here at Horrornews we are striving to keep ahead of the pack by digging deep into the vault and reviewing films from the 70’s & the 80’s that some of you might not be familiar with. Now let … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Avengers (2012)

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SYNOPSIS:  Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. brings together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki and his army. REVIEW: I am SUCH a nerd! Although no one has the chutzpah to actually come out and call The Black Saint a nerd, I’ll admit to it with something close to a smile on my face. I have watched every one of the “Superhero” movies released over the last … Continue reading

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Film Review: Underworld Awakening (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: When human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrioress Selene leads the battle against humankind. REVIEW: I never expected the “Underworld” franchise to get this far. After the 2nd one I truly expected any further entries in the series to go straight to video, despite the success of the series. But much like the “Resident Evil” franchise (Which I thought would … Continue reading

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Interview: Director Xavier Gens (The Divide)

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Director Xavier Gens made quite the splash with his first full length feature “Frontier(s)” in 2007. One of the first of the new wave of unrelenting horror films that came out of France (Along with “Inside”, “Haute Tension” & “Martyrs”), it was the sordid tale of a group of thieves on the run from the law who decide to pick the wrong place to lay low. It had some truly wince inducing scenes in it … Continue reading

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Film Review: We Are What We Are (2010)

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SYNOPSIS: When the head of the family passes away, his wife & 3 children must assume his responsibilities. One of which is procuring meat for the family to eat. Unfortunately for the general populace, they are a family of cannibals, and they are very hungry. REVIEW: So as The Black Saint was waiting to see “The Resident” at a screening last week (great movie by the way), he heard a lot of talk about this … Continue reading

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Film Review: Death Stop Holocaust (2009)

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SYNOPSIS: Two young women, Elizabeth and Taylor, travel to their father’s summer home on a remote island for a vacation getaway. As they travel deeper into the island, a nightmare begins to unfold. An unmarked white van will not leave them be, as they begin to sink deeper into terror. It becomes clear to the women they are not welcome as a group of masked killers begin to torment, torture, and hack them to bits. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Hookers In Revolt (2006)

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SYNOPSIS: A group of hookers revolt against their greedy pimps. REVIEW: OK…I fully believe that my boss hates me now. Why? I haven’t a clue (Although I suppose I could be quicker with my submissions), but I don’t think I’m a bad employee. I think I get the job done pretty well if I do say so myself and I work cheap. But he definitely hates me and I have proof of it now. That … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Raven (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: When a madman begins committing horrific murders inspired by Edgar Allan Poe’s works, a young Baltimore detective joins forces with Poe to stop him from making his stories a reality. REVIEW: I’m no student of Edgar Allen Poe, I admit that fully & without fear of prejudice from anyone reading this review who might take umbrage with some of my opinions. I’ve read “The Raven” and “Annabel Lee” though and I’ve seen all of … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bong Of The Dead (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: When the world is taken over by flesh eating zombies, best friends Tommy and Edwin figure out a way to benefit from it by turning zombies into fertilizer for growing potent weed! REVIEW: The Black Saint has been known to indulge in a bit of ceremonial cannabis burning (OK…I enjoy a nice blunt every so often) from time to time. The medicinal attributes of the herb are well documented as being good for you … Continue reading

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Film Review: Lockout (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. is offered his freedom if he can rescue the president’s daughter from an outer space prison taken over by violent inmates. REVIEW: I really enjoy watching movies, I think a good movie can wash away whatever might be ailing you for a couple of hours. Hell..a bad movie can do the same. As someone who has seen way too many movies over … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods. REVIEW: The Black Saint has a problem, a big problem. I’ve just gotten back to the mausoleum after a screening of “The Cabin In The Woods” and I am finding it nigh impossible to write a review for it without giving … Continue reading

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Film Review: Hell Night (1981)

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SYNOPSIS: Four college pledges are forced to spend the night in a deserted old mansion where they get killed off one by one by the monstrous surviving members of a family massacre years earlier for trespassing on their living grounds. REVIEW: I hate Linda Blair. There! I said it and I mean it too. Why do I hate Ms. Blair at all you ask? I certainly don’t know her so it doesn’t have anything to … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Grey (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: After their plane crashes in Alaska, seven oil workers are led by a skilled huntsman to survival, but a pack of merciless wolves haunts their every step. REVIEW: Stop me if you’ve seen this movie before, A plane full of stock characters (Big African American, Tough Hispanic, Bookworm, Wise guy, Know it all, etc..) crashes in some desolate area where the weather is awful & they have to band together to find a way … Continue reading

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Film Review: Wrath Of The Titans (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world. REVIEW: It may surprise some of my acolytes to learn that the Black Saint is a big fan of videogames, a very big fan indeed. As a matter of fact I have been an ardent gamer since the 70’s when the Atari 2600 made it’s debut & one … Continue reading

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About The Black Saint

Those of you who don't know of The Black Saint & have yet to commit yourselves to him body, mind & soul will find yourselves in a most uncomfortable position when my army of acolytes is complete & ready to wreak havok upon this pitiful blue ball we live on. Oh, I really like horror movies as well & will take on all comers in a horror trivia contest. Bring it on!
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