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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Fun Size (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: When a troubled but whip-smart teen girl loses her oddball little brother on Halloween, she has one desperate night to track him down REVIEWS: There could be no deeper horror to a parent or loved one than a child gone missing. Those who have braved the misfortune of such a calamity would rather engage in a …

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Film Review: Redd Inc. (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A demented boss works six captives to death. REVIEW: The horror resurgence is the best thing to happen to the likes of yours truly since losing my virginity the second time (long story).  As a lifelong devotee and diatribe-spewer of all things frightful, it has become a lost cause to keep up with the sheer number of titles released …

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Film Review: Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Sequel follows Jim Bickerman, a poacher who discovers that his local lake is inhabited by man-eating crocodiles. REVIEW: Were it not for my gig here at our happy home that is HorrorNews and the immortality it affords my inconsequential opinions, the drunken late-night Facebook conversation I’d have with my buddy Timmy concerning “Lake Placid: The Final Chapter” would most likely …

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Film Review: Bad Kids Go to Hell (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: On a stormy Saturday afternoon, six students from Crestview Academy begin to meet horrible fates as they serve out their detentions. Is a fellow student to blame, or perhaps Crestview’s alleged ghosts are behind the terrible acts? REVIEW: Putting forth a valiant effort to offer yawning Netflix surfers on the uneventful Wednesday a taste of outside-the-box …

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Film Review: Wake in Fright (1971)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Wake in Fright is the story of John Grant, a bonded teacher who arrives in the rough outback mining town of Bundanyabba planning to stay overnight before catching the plane to Sydney. But his one night stretches to five and he plunges headlong toward his own destruction. When the alcohol-induced mist lifts, the educated John Grant …

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Film Review: Asunder (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: On what should have been a normal night out, Josh finds himself drawn into a Hell of his own making. REVIEW: There is no greater amusement park ride of the mind than a well-executed horror anthology.  In presentation, even the most forgettable collection of macabre tales caters to one’s short attention span in a subservient fashion …

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Film Review: Piranha-Man Versus Werewolf-Man (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Piranha-Man Versus WereWolf-Man: Howl of the Piranha details the epic generations-long battle between two of natures most perfect killing machines! The rivalry between the fish-like Piranha-Man and the canine WereWolf-Man is one of brutal murder, familial kidnappings, stalking, and incest! When the decades old fight begins to affect the life of investigative journalist Lexi Glass, she …

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Film Review: Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind (2011)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Teens are slaughtered by a deranged killer in a pig mask. REVIEW: This sequel to 2010’s splatterfest “Porkchop” was released overseas under the much more lyrical title of “Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind“, I suspect to avoid confusing the more discerning slasher fanatic. No moniker applied, no matter how alliterative, however, can change this one …

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Film Review: Prometheus Trap (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: In the future, man’s quest for answers will take him to the edge of the universe. But the knowledge they seek, should never be known. REVIEW: Venturing into “Prometheus Trap” completely blind and with zero point of reference, I found myself a little more at ease than if I’d had the opportunity this past summer to experience Ridley Scott’s …

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