Author Archives: Rob Getz

Film Review: Mulberry Street (2006)

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SYNOPSIS: A mysterious virus creates pandemonium as it spreads through the Big Apple in this eerie creature feature that gives new meaning to the term rat race. On a scorching day in Manhattan, the denizens of a tumbledown tenement on Mulberry Street grouse about the heat, but as night falls, they find themselves battling a horde of mutants turning powerless New Yorkers into a bloodthirsty new species. Nick Damici, Kim Blair and Bo Corre star. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Kill For Me (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Two roommates with abusive men in their pasts consider murder as an option to help settle each others problems. REVIEW: Certain motion pictures evoke a creeping sensation, beginning with the faint whisper of a mischievous spirit in my ear that escalates¬†to a cacophony of wailing banshees far too boisterous to be ignored.¬† No, I’m not speaking of that¬†rational inner voice pleading, “Turn it off while you still qualify for Mensa,” though I’ve chosen¬†to ignore … Continue reading

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Film Review: Purgatorium (2010)

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SYNOPSIS: In this Twilight Zone-esque thriller by director Travis B. Miller, five strangers awake in an abandon two-story house with a few unanswered questions racing through their minds. Who are they? Where are they? Why are they there? They soon discover that the obvious answers are not always the right ones. With nerves stretched thin, and time closing in, those remaining realize that if they want to escape from the forsaken place, they will have … Continue reading

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Film Review: Fun Size (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: When a troubled but whip-smart teen girl loses her oddball little brother on Halloween, she has one desperate night to track him down REVIEWS: There could be no deeper horror to a parent or loved one than a child gone missing. Those who have braved the misfortune of such a calamity would rather engage in a bloody battle to the death with Jason, Freddy and that crazed beast from “Cloverfield” all rolled into one … Continue reading

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Film Review: Redd Inc. (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A demented boss works six captives to death. REVIEW: The horror resurgence is the best thing to happen to the likes of¬†yours truly¬†since losing my virginity the second time (long story).¬† As a lifelong devotee and diatribe-spewer of all things frightful, it has become a¬†lost cause to keep up with the sheer number of titles released since “Scream” underwhelmed me, yet started a veritable film revolution, bless its gutless heart.¬† Vampires and zombies have … Continue reading

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Film Review: Overtime (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: Raph and Max only kill bad guys, and only after their boss Sam, a high-powered attorney, has cashed a nice paycheck for getting her sleazy clients off the hook. When Sam sends our heroes on a routine hit, they find themselves caught up in a conspiracy they never imagined. But whatever trouble they’ve gotten themselves into is nothing compared to the wrath of Raph’s wife if he doesn’t make it home in time for … Continue reading

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Film Review: House Hunting (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Two families go to an open house and can’t leave. REVIEW: Orchestrating an effective haunted house movie is a tricky egg to crack.¬† Singular focus on atmosphere could lead to a rather tedious¬†experience, as displayed by the classics “The Amityville Horror” and “The Haunting of Hill House.”¬† On the flip side, concentration aimed in the singular direction of special effects and fun house thrills¬†seldom leads to¬†satisfying viewing either. ¬†I submit¬†the wretched¬†remakes of the two … Continue reading

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Film Review: Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Sequel follows Jim Bickerman, a poacher who discovers that his local lake is inhabited by man-eating crocodiles. REVIEW: Were it not for my gig here at our¬†happy home that is HorrorNews and the immortality it affords my¬†inconsequential opinions, the drunken late-night Facebook¬†conversation I’d have with my buddy Timmy¬†concerning “Lake Placid: The Final Chapter” would most likely go something like this: Me: Hey, saw the fourth “Lake Placid” flick. Timmy: What was it about? Me: … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bad Kids Go to Hell (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: On a stormy Saturday afternoon, six students from Crestview Academy begin to meet horrible fates as they serve out their detentions. Is a fellow student to blame, or perhaps Crestview’s alleged ghosts are behind the terrible acts? REVIEW: Putting forth a valiant effort to offer yawning Netflix surfers on the uneventful Wednesday a taste of outside-the-box spontaneity, “Bad Kids Go To Hell” (“BKGTH” from here in) certainly¬†does not¬†fail for lack of commitment to¬†the noble … Continue reading

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Film Review: Wake in Fright (1971)

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SYNOPSIS: Wake in Fright is the story of John Grant, a bonded teacher who arrives in the rough outback mining town of Bundanyabba planning to stay overnight before catching the plane to Sydney. But his one night stretches to five and he plunges headlong toward his own destruction. When the alcohol-induced mist lifts, the educated John Grant is no more. Instead there is a self-loathing man in a desolate wasteland, dirty, red-eyed, sitting against a … Continue reading

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Film Review: Bad Behaviour (2010)

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SYNOPSIS: Emma and Peterson encounter their fierce predator Voyte Parker, a cop confronts his son’s murderer, and a man finds his wife is cheating on him. Intersecting story lines; murderers, coppers, teachers and teenagers. REVIEW: The year was 1994, and it was¬†virtually splitting at the seams with¬†a cornucopia of¬†notable¬†highs and lows: Nancy Kerrigan received the world’s worst “Good Luck” gift from rival Tonya Harding, Nelson Mandela was elected President of South Africa in¬†their first interracial¬†election, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Hitchcock (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A love story between influential filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock and wife Alma Reville during the filming of _Psycho_ in 1959 REVIEW: To drearily refer to Alfred Hitchcock as great director is akin to stating that Leonardo DaVinci had a couple of good ideas. Not only the most influential film maker in modern American cinema, Hitchcock was a sheer force of nature during his Hollywood reign that spanned fifty years, from humble silent roots to his … Continue reading

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Film Review: Asunder (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: On what should have been a normal night out, Josh finds himself drawn into a Hell of his own making. REVIEW: There is no greater amusement park ride of the mind than a well-executed horror anthology.¬† In presentation, even the most forgettable collection of macabre tales caters to one’s short attention span in a subservient fashion rarely accomplished by other incarnations of entertainment, save Nickelodeon cartoons and YouTube videos of cats tweaking on the … Continue reading

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Film Review: President Wolfman (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: The President of the United States has been bitten by a werewolf and is loose on the streets of Washington on a killing rampage! This comedy/horror/political satire is also a ‘green movie,’ created entirely out of recycled stock and public domain film footage culled from over one hundred grainy government instructional shorts, classroom education movies, vintage stag reels and features that have fallen out of copyright as well as from the favor of the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Piranha-Man Versus Werewolf-Man (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Piranha-Man Versus WereWolf-Man: Howl of the Piranha details the epic generations-long battle between two of natures most perfect killing machines! The rivalry between the fish-like Piranha-Man and the canine WereWolf-Man is one of brutal murder, familial kidnappings, stalking, and incest! When the decades old fight begins to affect the life of investigative journalist Lexi Glass, she finds that sometimes you need to become the story in order to report the story. She discovers the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Piranhaconda (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: Part Snake! Part Fish! All Killer! REVIEW: At personal risk to the ragged shred of integrity I still grip like a sleeping baby clutches a binky, I must confess that I have a soft spot deep in the cockles of my heart for SyFy Channel movies. What else is there to do on a lazy weekend afternoon with a case of¬†Pabst Blue Ribbon¬†and no place to go? Better yourself with a good book? Pshaw, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Hypothermia (2010)

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SYNOPSIS: Ray Pelletier just wants to spend a pleasant and relaxing weekend ice fishing with his family. Alas, Ray’s plans are ruined by the unwanted presence of the obnoxious big city father and son duo of Steve Cote and Stevie Jr. However, the two squabbling families are forced to set aside their differences and work together after a vicious monster awakens from the cold waters of the remote frozen lake area they are staying at … Continue reading

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Film Review: Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: Teens are slaughtered by a deranged killer in a pig mask. REVIEW: This sequel to 2010’s splatterfest “Porkchop” was released overseas under the much more lyrical title of “Porkchop II: Rise of the Rind“, I suspect to avoid confusing the more discerning slasher fanatic. No moniker applied, no matter how alliterative, however, can change this one simple and irrefutable truth: “Porkchops” is the most fun you’ll have watching a travesty of a motion picture … Continue reading

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Film Review: Prometheus Trap (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: In the future, man‚Äôs quest for answers will take him to the edge of the universe. But the knowledge they seek, should never be known. REVIEW: Venturing into “Prometheus Trap” completely blind and with¬†zero point of reference, I found myself a little more at ease than if I’d had the¬†opportunity this past summer to¬†experience Ridley Scott’s latest attempt at science fiction gold, “Prometheus.”¬† Assuming this was a low-rent mimickry in the Asylum Pictures vein, … Continue reading

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About Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.