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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Ghost TV (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A nasty, nasty comedy. A reality TV crew is making a programme, ‘Ghost TV’ about the haunted buildings that are the ruins of Seacliff Lunatic Asylum. As one might expect things do not go to plan. One of the crew is not very emotionally stable and when she discovers that she has been used callously by …

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Film Review: 7500 (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Passengers aboard a flight across the Pacific Ocean encounter a supernatural force. REVIEW: “Ghosts on a Plane.” Aware of only a vague plot synopsis before firing up our latest, it took about halfway in for that humorous alternate title to pop into my melon. Once there, it refused to leave. My apologies to anyone I’ve doomed to …

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Film Review: Find Me (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Before boxes are unpacked in their new home, newlyweds Tim and Emily, find themselves playing a very creepy game of hide and seek with a vengeful spirit. REVIEW: It was only a matter of time, friends. Firstly, I’d like to get something off my chest that has been nagging at me for a year.  I didn’t …

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Film Review: The Battery (2012)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: The personalities of two former baseball players clash as they traverse the rural back roads of a post-plague New England teeming with the undead. REVIEW: Glancing at past reviews, I fear I’ve grown a tad jaded towards zombie movies. Like Glenn Beck offering his personal opinions on an episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” I may no longer …

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Film Review: Lyle (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A mother’s grief over the death of her toddler leads to horror. REVIEW: It may ruffle feathers, but I’ve never been able to get into “Rosemary’s Baby.”  Though I enjoy Ira Levin‘s novel and appreciate Roman Polanski’s artful interpretation (we’ll pretend this year’s made-for-television debacle never happened), that nagging sensation of being bored to tears still …

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Film Review: 6 Plots (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Everyone’s primal fears of death and how horribly it can play out in your own mind. REVIEW: Today’s teenagers are tech savvy as hell.  This may cause endless consternation and annoyance amongst adults who believe the expanding spectrum of technology has grown out of hand (it has) and human interaction is becoming more archaic and unnecessary with each …

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Film Review: Proxy (2013)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: The life of three parents who have all shared the loss of a child. Motives are not what they seem and sanity is in short supply in this thriller. REVIEW: One can only imagine the harrowing level of grief inflicted by the death of a child.  Morbidly, this tragic real life horror has historically served as fertile stomping …

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Film Review: Deep in the Darkness (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Dr. Michael Cayle thought leaving the chaotic lifestyle of New York City behind for the quiet, small town of Ashborough would bring his family closer together. Soon after arriving, however, he discovers the town’s deepest secret: a terrifying and controlling race of creatures that live amongst the darkness in the woods behind his home. REVIEW: In the …

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Film Review: The Wrong House (2009)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: An isolated house in the woods looks like an easy mark to a group of friends camping in the Maine wilderness. The thieves haul away several ounces of pot and hallucinogenic mushrooms in the heist. But when the homeowners track them down, the thieves learn too late that there are some people you just shouldn’t mess with… …

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Film Review: The Zombinator (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A fashion blogger documentary turns into a Zombie horror nightmare when Youngstown Ohio college students come face to face with the undead. Their only hope of survival is a former soldier turned zombie killer trying to protect them from a mercenary working for an evil corporation who developed the serum that causes zombie-ism. REVIEW: There is …

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Film Review: Armistice (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A Royal Marine awakens to find himself imprisoned and forced to fight to the death against inhuman opponents again and again. REVIEW: War is Hell.  For yours truly, being fortunate enough to never have encountered firsthand what the term “war” encompasses, it took merely my 8th grade English required reading list to bring to light that …

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