Author Archives: Rob Getz

Film Review: Self Storage (2013)

Self-Storage-2013-Movie-Tom-DeNucci-3

SYNOPSIS: The friends of a night watchman, at a highly secured self storage facility, are home from college and looking to party. REVIEW: I’ve always maintained a soft spot for Eric Roberts.¬† From the onset of his career in forgotten classics¬†like “The Pope of Greenwich Village” and “Runaway Train,” he’s always possessed a gift for portraying amiable nuts.¬† Pushing sixty, Roberts seems to¬†be harder at work in the B-movie realm than ever before, his name … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Unsolved (2009)

Unsolved-2009

SYNOPSIS: Fifteen years after an on campus murder, students re-open the case for a class and uncover a truth more horrifying and closer to home than they ever imagined. REVIEW: Murder mysteries are something of a hard sell.¬† These days, the standard “Whodunnit?” template is rarely utilized as more than a springboard for creative invention.¬† Both¬†2000′s “Memento” and “Brick” from 2005 are brilliant examples of where a mystery can artistically take us.¬† They also happen … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: The Bell Witch Haunting (2013)

The-Bell-Witch-Haunting-2013-Movie-4

SYNOPSIS: Based on true events. The Robertson County Sheriff’s Department has released footage found on the bodies of the Sawyer family’s cell phones and video cameras. What was first thought to be a murder-suicide is now believed to be the return of a centuries-old demon responsible for America’s most famous paranormal event REVIEW: Considering¬†the multitude of titles that have surfaced under the “found footage” moniker in recent years, a section dedicated solely to this unruly … Continue reading

16 Comments

Film Review: Dead Souls (2012)

Dead_Souls_2012-movie-2

SYNOPSIS: Johnny Petrie learns on his 18th birthday that he was adopted after inheriting a farm in Maine. Eager to start a new life, Johnny leaves home so he can began afresh in this “new” dwelling. However, Johnny soon discovers that the farm, which has been abandoned for eighteen years since his natural family died, harbors a horrifying history about the deaths of said natural family. REVIEW: Making its debut nestled within the quagmire of … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Sawney: Flesh Of Man (2012)

Sawney-flesh-of-man-movie-2012-poster1

SYNOPSIS: Religious psychopath Sawney stalks Scotland abducting unholy souls for his communion of sacrifices. With his insane family of inbred killers they rape, torture and eat their victims saving the best morsels for a shadowy chained-up figure in their cavernous Highlands lair. As the Missing Persons list rises, investigative crime journalist Hamish MacDonald writes sensational and damming headlines against the police, due to their incompetence in handling the case. Frustrated police inspector Bill Munro is … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Apocalypse Z (2013)

Apocalypse-Z-2013-Zombie-Massacre-Movie-3

SYNOPSIS: A bacteriological weapon developed by the Us Government to create a super soldier – spreads an epidemic in a quiet little town in the middle of Eastern Europe. All citizens have been turned into infected zombies. The plan is to bring an atomic bomb into the city’s nuclear plant to pretend a terrible accident occurred. No one has to know the truth. A team of mercenaries is hired to complete the mission. The battle … Continue reading

1 Comment

Film Review: 100 Bloody Acres (2012)

100_Bloody_Acres-movie

SYNOPSIS: James is heading to a music festival in the bush with girlfriend Sophie and best mate Wes. He plans to propose to her this weekend, unaware (for the moment) that she and Wes have been screwing on the sly. When their car breaks down, friendly local and co-owner of a struggling blood and bone fertilizer business, Reg Morgan stops to offer a lift. But Reg is eyeing off a business opportunity here: he and … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: My Little Demon (2012)

My-Little-Demon-2012-Movie-2

SYNOPSIS: A young woman’s psychologist turns out to be the Devil and makes the woman an offer she can’t refuse. Murder an innocent person and her long deceased daughter will be returned to her, from Hell. REVIEW: Lucifer.¬† Beelzebub.¬† Old Scratch.¬† Regardless of the moniker uttered, everyone knows the Devil.¬† The original bad guy, Satan not only spans ages of literature, art and religious dogma, but has also made fodder of antagonists in every genre … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: It’s in the Blood (2012)

its_in_the_blood-2012-movie

SYNOPSIS: When a father and son become stranded in the wild, they must confront the horrors of their past to escape with their lives. REVIEW: This will require some soul-searching on the part of yours truly, but the creature feature may be my favorite horror sub genre. Regardless of story or characterizations surrounding it, I’m a sucker for a good monster. On the other hand, there at times stands the rarity which places its beastie, … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Ooga Booga (2013)

Ooga-booga-2013-Movie-1

SYNOPSIS: Ooga Booga follows an innocent African American boy who is brutally murdered by dirty cops, but his soul is magically transferred into an action figure named Ooga Booga. With on his tribal spear and old girlfriend to help he takes to the streets and trailer parks to find the men that ended his once bright future. REVIEW: I’ve always admired the vast and spotty career of Charles Band.¬† He and the production company he … Continue reading

3 Comments

Film Review: The Dying (1997)

The-Dying-1979-Movie-David-Nicholson

SYNOPSIS: Nicholson, this ambitious feature film tackles some very complex issues as seen through¬†the eyes of vampires.¬† “Almost human, but not quite” defines these characters well¬† They bear¬†little resemblance to the vampires of old except that they are very difficult to kill.¬†¬†Even though it was shot on a budget that was less than they spent on catering for one of the¬†Twilight movies, the story mixes action, blood and gore with a moody drama as if … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Midget Zombie Takeover (2013)

midget-zombie-takeover-2013-Movie-1

SYNOPSIS: When some college students get together for a hot tub party, they’re shocked to find out that their party is being crashed by some tiny, uninvited guests who are hungry for flesh – human flesh. REVIEW: I’m going to try my very damnedest not to hate on “Midget Zombie Takeover” as much as it deserves.¬† The staggering amount of cinematic undead offerings as of late has all but pummelled my fellow HorrorNews reviewers into … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Manborg (2011)

Manborg-2011-Movie-7

SYNOPSIS: A soldier, brought back to life as a cyborg, fights alongside a band of adventurers against demon hordes in a dystopian future. REVIEW: I may remain far too engulfed in an after glow of giddiness to complete a coherent thought here, but I’m going to give it¬†the ol’¬†college try at any rate.¬† I speak not of the pain killers prescribed me recently due to an abscessed wisdom tooth when I describe my delight, though … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Before Dawn (2012)

Before-dawn-2012-Dominic-Brunt-Movie-5

SYNOPSIS: An estranged couple’s vacation to save their troubled relationship goes awry when they find themselves under attack from the walking dead REVIEW: Zombies are everywhere, friends.¬† I don’t speak of an actual infestation, though due to the skyrocketing fame of our undead once-brethren, I have friends who not only believe an outbreak is imminent, but I suspect are looking forward to the event.¬† Personally, given the choice, I could live without it.¬†¬†A few vampires … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Don’t Let the Riverbeast Get You! (2012)

Don’t-Let-the-Riverbeast-Get-You-(2012)-Movie-8

SYNOPSIS: A vicious monster has arisen from its watery lair! It’s the Riverbeast, and he’s threatening a peaceful New England town. Local tutor Neil Stuart has seen the beast before, but nobody believed his story, making him the town laughingstock. Neil sets out to not only prove that the Riverbeast exists, but also, with the help of his beautiful pupil, scrappy tutor buddies, and a former professional athlete to vanquish the aquatic menace! REVIEW: Over … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Film Review: Biker Zombies From Detroit (2001)

Biker-Zombies-From-Detroit-2001-Movie-2

SYNOPSIS: Bad Bikers, Killer Zombies, & Hard Rock! REVIEW: It’s an exciting prospect, to view a film¬†from your neck of the woods when your particular neck isn’t a common¬†stomping ground for motion pictures.¬† Thumbing its nose¬†contrarily at its own title, “‘Biker Zombies From Detroit” (“BZFD” until the final paragraph) is¬†set in the suburb of Grosse Pointe, yet¬†shot in every surrounding city that isn’t Grosse Pointe.¬† I live just up the street from where some of … Continue reading

Leave a comment

About Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.