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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Toxin (2015)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: A pharmaceutical company recruits a well-known scientist to help develop a vaccine against a deadly virus. REVIEW: If reality truly did imitate art, our wacky governments would be precariously on the cusp of unleashing Armageddon upon the world with clandestine experiments in biological warfare. Life as we know it could be a well-intentioned animal rights group (“28 …

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Film Review: Foreclosure (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: The story of a broken family striving to stay together while a curse and the ghosts of a haunted house try to tear them apart. REVIEW: Haunted houses are the new zombies. Though there remains no foreseeable shortage of the undead baddies gracing our screens anytime soon, isolated homesteads with dark histories are as abundant now as …

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Film Review: Malignant (2013)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: After the death of his wife, a grieving man becomes the victim of a horrific experiment to cure his addiction. REVIEW: There are few cinematic sins that frustrate more than a lapse in logic that is never overcome nor even confronted. Though such thematic flaws are often ignored when the film in question is garbage, they can …

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Film Review: Death Factory (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A busload of strangers find themselves fighting for their lives when one of them reads from a gothic book and brings to life six dead serial killers who proceed to hunt them down one by one. REVIEW: Innocents stranded in remote surroundings are hunted by bloodthirsty maniacs. There are only so many cinematic avenues one can …

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Film Review: Asmodexia (2014)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: Five days in the lives of an exorcist (Eloy Palma) and his granddaughter (Alba), working in the Barcelona area. REVIEW: Swiftly becoming oversaturated as of late, the exorcism film is threatening to encroach upon slasher and zombie territories.  Though a nearly impossible feat to reach the sheer amount of entries both subgenres have achieved, it remains a …

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Film Review: Mondo Cannibal (2004)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: The network where the famous anchorwoman Grace Forsyte works, is collapsing and she would do everything to regain the favour of the audience, therefore she convinces her professional team to go to the Amazon jungle for a sensational scoop about the cannibals REVIEW: Combining the sensational brutality of mondo documentaries with the jungle adventures that saturated …

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Film Review: Lord of Illusions (1995)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: During a routine case in L.A., NY private investigator Harry D’Amour stumbles over members of a fanatic cult, who are waiting for the resurrection of their leader Nix. 13 years ago, Nix was calmed down by his best trainee Swann. In the meantime Swann is advanced to a popular illusionist like David Copperfield and is married to …

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Film Review: Play Hooky (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Seniors play hooky from high school and get trapped in an abandoned Psychiatric Facility famous for hauntings, witchcraft and demonic possession. REVIEW: Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A group of mildly attractive teens ditches class to drink some booze and smoke a bit of the wacky weed. Their party pad plans fall through, and …

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Film Review: Grave Halloween (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Suicide forest is just a name – isn’t it? Miko intends to find out, even if it means uncovering the sad truth about her mothers suicide REVIEW: Aokigahara, known as the Suicide Forest, lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan. It historically boasts the country’s largest suicide rate (approximately 100 per year), and …

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