Author Archives: Rob Getz

Film Review: No Vacancy (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Seven friends on a road trip to Las Vegas break down near a rest-stop motel, where they encounter a seemingly helpful group of people. Convinced to stay overnight, the friends wake up in their rooms to a gruesome and bloody terror. REVIEW:

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Film Review: The Zombinator (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A fashion blogger documentary turns into a Zombie horror nightmare when Youngstown Ohio college students come face to face with the undead. Their only hope of survival is a former soldier turned zombie killer trying to protect them from a mercenary working for an evil corporation who developed the serum that causes zombie-ism. REVIEW: There is only so much one can expect from a low-budget horror outing entitled “The Zombinator.”  The initial impression I … Continue reading

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Film Review: Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Return to the Class of Nuke ‘Em High follows a young couple that are up against the school glee club. Unfortunately, the glee club has mutated into a gang called The Cretins. When the other students begin to undergo mutations, our couple must solve the mystery and save Tromaville High School. REVIEW: By the time the 1980s were reaching the back nine, the shine was starting to wear off the slasher template for us Getz … Continue reading

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Film Review: Armistice (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A Royal Marine awakens to find himself imprisoned and forced to fight to the death against inhuman opponents again and again. REVIEW: War is Hell.  For yours truly, being fortunate enough to never have encountered firsthand what the term “war” encompasses, it took merely my 8th grade English required reading list to bring to light that it isn’t all justified murder and a hero’s welcome home.  The book was Dalton Trumbo’s Johnny Got His … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Amazing Adventures of the Living Corpse (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A somewhat self-aware zombie takes it upon himself to keep the rest of the walking dead at bay. REVIEW: It was only a matter of time before someone was savvy enough to bring us a comic book zombie hero.  In this humble opinion, James O’Barr had already accomplished that exact artistic feat when he created The Crow over twenty years ago, but that’s neither here nor there.  Besides, Eric Draven never once had a … Continue reading

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Film Review: My Pure Joy (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: On the outside Adam appears to be a normal teenager, but underneath…his mind has been so rotted by trauma from his past and the gory films he watches, that he has blurred the lines between reality and pretend! This prompts Adam to start killing people in similar ways to films he watches, making sure to put his own little spin on it REVIEW: There is a contemplative, perhaps brilliant film lingering beneath the ugly … Continue reading

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Film Review: 13 Sins (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: A cryptic phone call sets off a dangerous game of risks for Elliot, a down-on-his luck salesman. The game promises increasing rewards for completing 13 tasks, each more sinister than the last. REVIEW: Since Richard Connell warped the man vs. man plot archetype in his 1924 short story “The Most Dangerous Game,” the thematic device of have-nots being treated as disposable, unwilling entertainment for those who have remains fertile ground for genre artists.  Direct … Continue reading

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Horror Funding: BLACKED OUT! to Film This Summer

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It isn’t what you think. . . To begin shooting in Michigan this July for an early 2015 release, Blacked-Out! is the first film from Half-Empty Flicks.  Co-written and directed by Horrornews film critic and playwright Rob Getz, this is a twisted horror-comedy that must be seen to be believed! Twentsomething slacker Chet (Gino Fracassa) drifts between our reality and an animated nightmare dimension during the lost time he experiences after a car accident has … Continue reading

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Film Review: Chasing the Devil (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Patrick McCord doesn’t accept the explanation of his sister’s mysterious death as suicide, and instead teams up with a team of paranormal investigators to delve deeper into the inexplicable circumstances that surround what he believes to be murder. REVIEW: Demonic possession has been getting a lot of play in Redbox kiosks and Netflix queues these days.  Since “The Exorcist” threw down the gauntlet by inspiring mass hysteria and controversy in 1973, it has not been an … Continue reading

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Film Review: Holy Ghost People (2013) – Review 2

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SYNOPSIS: On the trail of her missing sister, Charlotte enlists the help of Wayne, an ex-Marine and alcoholic, to infiltrate the Church of One Accord – a community of snake-handlers who risk their lives seeking salvation in the Holy Ghost. REVIEW: Christianity has taken a beating from the horror genre in recent years.  One could surmise this is a reflection of modern society’s ever-widening chasm separating believers from heathens.  Those of faith feel that their … Continue reading

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Film Review: Dead Walkers: Rise of the 4th Reich (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: In 1945 the Second World War came to an end and the Nazis fled. Scientists and military elite escaped across borders and found themselves in new worlds. Some fled to Russia, some the United States and others to South America. But there was another division, a forgotten group. A top secret and powerful team of men and women formed in the womb of the Nazi Occult. REVIEW: As I sit at my desk, fingers … Continue reading

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Film Review: Kill Your Darlings (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A murder in 1944 draws together the great poets of the beat generation: Allen Ginsberg, Jack Kerouac and William Burroughs REVIEW: Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl and Other Poems” made its debut nearly fifty years ago, and remains quintessential material for scarf-wearing hipsters and literary students alike.  His angry, often obscene diatribe against commercialism and conformity still resonates today, though no mere work of prose could ever change world views.  If that were true, war and … Continue reading

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Film Review: Unlucky Charms (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Five girls vie for a chance to model diva Deedee DeVille’s fashion line, but they’re soon competing for their lives against four mythical beings, led by the mischievous Farr Darrig. REVIEW: There was a time in my youth, during the wonderful heyday of “Garbage Pail Kids” trading cards/stickers/unchewable gum, that I recall one of the many lesser successful coattail riders of that particular medium.  It was a series of twisted takes on breakfast cereals, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Fields of the Dead (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Seven friends find themselves on an isolated farm. Here, they discover an ancient book, which summons demons from the surrounding woods. Now, these friends will have to find a way out of the fields, if they want to survive. REVIEW: I have no particular beef with blonde women.  In fact, I’ve dated one or two in my lifetime.  My sister is flaxen-haired, and she’s my favorite person on the planet.  What does draw the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Haunting of the Innocent (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Tom and Brenda have the perfect life but when Brenda is violently attacked in the comfort of their home, their perfect lives are thrown into chaos and fear. REVIEW: Though I would normally spend this initial 100 or so words (sometimes more) rambling on about a topic very loosely connected (sometimes not at all) with the actual film in question, I feel I must get something out of the way right off the bat. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Almost Human (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Mark Fisher disappeared from his home in a brilliant flash of blue light almost two years ago. His friend Seth Hampton was the last to see him alive. Now a string of grisly, violent murders leads Seth to believe that Mark is back, and something evil is inside of him. REVIEW: The 1980s brought us more than lousy hairstyles and even lousier attire.  The independent horror industry boomed with the emergence of the slasher … Continue reading

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Film Review: Phobia (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: In 1885, a female doctor helping a group of people with their phobias becomes embroiled in a murder mystery surrounding a patient that may or may not be a vampire. REVIEW: Remember when vampires were feared more than fantasized about?  Though the resurgence of our fanged friends has been a welcome one amidst the relentless onslaught of zombies, slashers and grainy footage of things going bump in the night, it hasn’t exactly been accompanied … Continue reading

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Film Review: Frost (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: A young couple, physiologist Agla and filmmaker Gunnar wake up at a glacier camp to find the camp mysteriously abandoned and their co-workers gone. When searching for the lost team they realize they’re up against an unknown deadly force. REVIEW: Any horror set in arctic climes automatically has an edge with those who despise the cold.  A proud subscriber to this lifestyle, my idea of winter sport is watching the mailman fall down my … Continue reading

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Film Review: Scorned (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A romantic weekend turns horrific and sadistic when Sadie discovers her boyfriend is having an affair with her best friend. REVIEW: There is something almost fascinating about a complete cinematic misfire.  Sure, anyone under the sun can create an awful movie with a Coinstar budget and borrowed camera in Mom and Dad’s garage.  On the opposite end of the spectrum, expensive Hollywood releases so often place quantity above quality that the ratio of junk … Continue reading

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Film Review: Beneath (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Six high school seniors celebrating with day’s excursion find themselves on rowboat attacked by man-eating fish and must decide who must be sacrificed as they fight their way back to shore. REVIEW:

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Film Review: Skinwalker Ranch (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A scientific research team investigates and documents the supernatural phenomena surrounding the disappearance of a cattle ranchers 10 year old son. Inspired by true events that shocked the paranormal community around the world. REVIEW: The directorial debut of actor Devin McGinn (“Crash Course with Shaun White”), our latest offering is yet another found footage film.  What should naturally follow this dubious declaration is a long-winded diatribe burning up 100 words or so with what … Continue reading

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About Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.