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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Malignant (2013)


SYNOPSIS: After the death of his wife, a grieving man becomes the victim of a horrific experiment to cure his addiction. REVIEW: There are few cinematic sins that frustrate more than a lapse in logic that is never overcome nor even confronted. Though such thematic flaws are often ignored when the film in question is garbage, they can torpedo an …

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Film Review: Death Factory (2014)


SYNOPSIS: A busload of strangers find themselves fighting for their lives when one of them reads from a gothic book and brings to life six dead serial killers who proceed to hunt them down one by one. REVIEW: Innocents stranded in remote surroundings are hunted by bloodthirsty maniacs. There are only so many cinematic avenues one can traverse when pursuing …

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Film Review: Asmodexia (2014)


SYNOPSIS: Five days in the lives of an exorcist (Eloy Palma) and his granddaughter (Alba), working in the Barcelona area. REVIEW: Swiftly becoming oversaturated as of late, the exorcism film is threatening to encroach upon slasher and zombie territories.  Though a nearly impossible feat to reach the sheer amount of entries both subgenres have achieved, it remains a daunting task …

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Film Review: Entity (2013)


SYNOPSIS: A man deals with the personal tragedy of his family’s death by living at the vacation cabin that they last stayed at. He soon discovers he’s not alone. REVIEW: A single setting horror film is a tricky bit to pull off. Populating the limited space with one human character is an even ballsier endeavor, as it plays with the …

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Film Review: Thr33 Days Dead (2014)


SYNOPSIS: Patrick, Jeff, and Justin go to the lake to fish, and their day is ruined when zombies overtake the city. REVIEW: The fact that the term “zomcom” has become common slang in the horror community since it was coined when “Shaun of the Dead” premiered ten years ago is proof positive how much the subgenre has exploded. Though large …

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Film Review: Mondo Cannibal (2004)


SYNOPSIS: The network where the famous anchorwoman Grace Forsyte works, is collapsing and she would do everything to regain the favour of the audience, therefore she convinces her professional team to go to the Amazon jungle for a sensational scoop about the cannibals REVIEW: Combining the sensational brutality of mondo documentaries with the jungle adventures that saturated silver screens during …

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Film Review: Play Hooky (2014)


SYNOPSIS: Seniors play hooky from high school and get trapped in an abandoned Psychiatric Facility famous for hauntings, witchcraft and demonic possession. REVIEW: Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A group of mildly attractive teens ditches class to drink some booze and smoke a bit of the wacky weed. Their party pad plans fall through, and the remaining option …

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Film Review: Grave Halloween (2013)


SYNOPSIS: Suicide forest is just a name – isn’t it? Miko intends to find out, even if it means uncovering the sad truth about her mothers suicide REVIEW: Aokigahara, known as the Suicide Forest, lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan. It historically boasts the country’s largest suicide rate (approximately 100 per year), and is credited by …

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Film Review: Ghost TV (2013)


SYNOPSIS: A nasty, nasty comedy. A reality TV crew is making a programme, ‘Ghost TV’ about the haunted buildings that are the ruins of Seacliff Lunatic Asylum. As one might expect things do not go to plan. One of the crew is not very emotionally stable and when she discovers that she has been used callously by another crew member …

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Film Review: Honeymoon (2014)


SYNOPSIS: A newlywed couple finds their lake-country honeymoon descend into chaos after Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of their first night. REVIEW: How well does one truly know a significant other?  Is the length of a courtship through engagement and the exchanging of vows an ample amount of time to base the remainder of one’s existence …

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Film Review: 7500 (2014)


SYNOPSIS: Passengers aboard a flight across the Pacific Ocean encounter a supernatural force. REVIEW: “Ghosts on a Plane.” Aware of only a vague plot synopsis before firing up our latest, it took about halfway in for that humorous alternate title to pop into my melon. Once there, it refused to leave. My apologies to anyone I’ve doomed to the same …

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Film Review: Find Me (2014)


SYNOPSIS: Before boxes are unpacked in their new home, newlyweds Tim and Emily, find themselves playing a very creepy game of hide and seek with a vengeful spirit. REVIEW: It was only a matter of time, friends. Firstly, I’d like to get something off my chest that has been nagging at me for a year.  I didn’t find “The Conjuring” …

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Film Review: The Battery (2012)


SYNOPSIS: The personalities of two former baseball players clash as they traverse the rural back roads of a post-plague New England teeming with the undead. REVIEW: Glancing at past reviews, I fear I’ve grown a tad jaded towards zombie movies. Like Glenn Beck offering his personal opinions on an episode of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” I may no longer lay claim …

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Film Review: Lyle (2014)


SYNOPSIS: A mother’s grief over the death of her toddler leads to horror. REVIEW: It may ruffle feathers, but I’ve never been able to get into “Rosemary’s Baby.”  Though I enjoy Ira Levin‘s novel and appreciate Roman Polanski’s artful interpretation (we’ll pretend this year’s made-for-television debacle never happened), that nagging sensation of being bored to tears still carries over from …

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Film Review: 6 Plots (2012)


SYNOPSIS: Everyone’s primal fears of death and how horribly it can play out in your own mind. REVIEW: Today’s teenagers are tech savvy as hell.  This may cause endless consternation and annoyance amongst adults who believe the expanding spectrum of technology has grown out of hand (it has) and human interaction is becoming more archaic and unnecessary with each passing day (it …

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Film Review: Halley (2012)


SYNOPSIS: Alberto forms an unusual friendship with Luly, the manager of the 24-hour gym where he works as a night guard. REVIEW: Despite a pallor that could be indicative of anything from drug addiction to poor diet, Alberto (Alberto Trujillo) is otherwise as innocuous as they come.  Speaking only when directly engaged and rarely looking up from under a drooped …

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Film Review: Proxy (2013)


SYNOPSIS: The life of three parents who have all shared the loss of a child. Motives are not what they seem and sanity is in short supply in this thriller. REVIEW: One can only imagine the harrowing level of grief inflicted by the death of a child.  Morbidly, this tragic real life horror has historically served as fertile stomping grounds for …

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