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Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.

Film Review: Slaughter Daughter (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A former beauty queen plots the death of her overbearing mother with the help of her pen-pal, a serial killer on death row. REVIEW: The resurgence of exploitation cinema has been met with mixed emotions and certainly mixed reviews.  From Grindhouse releases to the lesser-known (and in this humble opinion, better) works of Richard Griffin and …

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Film Review: Prometheus Trap (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: In the future, man’s quest for answers will take him to the edge of the universe. But the knowledge they seek, should never be known. REVIEW: Venturing into “Prometheus Trap” completely blind and with zero point of reference, I found myself a little more at ease than if I’d had the opportunity this past summer to experience Ridley Scott’s …

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Film Review: Phobia (2013)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: In 1885, a female doctor helping a group of people with their phobias becomes embroiled in a murder mystery surrounding a patient that may or may not be a vampire. REVIEW: Remember when vampires were feared more than fantasized about?  Though the resurgence of our fanged friends has been a welcome one amidst the relentless onslaught of …

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Film Review: Jug Face (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A teen, pregnant with her brother’s child, is trying to escape from a backwoods community when she discovers that she must sacrifice herself to a creature in a pit. REVIEW: Any horror film that connects with its viewer on a personal level is an anomaly in its basic priorities.  So often in the writing process, the …

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Film Review: President Wolfman (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: The President of the United States has been bitten by a werewolf and is loose on the streets of Washington on a killing rampage! This comedy/horror/political satire is also a ‘green movie,’ created entirely out of recycled stock and public domain film footage culled from over one hundred grainy government instructional shorts, classroom education movies, vintage …

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Film Review: My Pure Joy (2011)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: On the outside Adam appears to be a normal teenager, but underneath…his mind has been so rotted by trauma from his past and the gory films he watches, that he has blurred the lines between reality and pretend! This prompts Adam to start killing people in similar ways to films he watches, making sure to put …

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Film Review: Ooga Booga (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Ooga Booga follows an innocent African American boy who is brutally murdered by dirty cops, but his soul is magically transferred into an action figure named Ooga Booga. With on his tribal spear and old girlfriend to help he takes to the streets and trailer parks to find the men that ended his once bright future. …

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Film Review: House Hunting (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Two families go to an open house and can’t leave. REVIEW: Orchestrating an effective haunted house movie is a tricky egg to crack.  Singular focus on atmosphere could lead to a rather tedious experience, as displayed by the classics “The Amityville Horror” and “The Haunting of Hill House.”  On the flip side, concentration aimed in the singular …

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Film Review: The Wrong House (2009)

Rate This MovieSYNOPSIS: An isolated house in the woods looks like an easy mark to a group of friends camping in the Maine wilderness. The thieves haul away several ounces of pot and hallucinogenic mushrooms in the heist. But when the homeowners track them down, the thieves learn too late that there are some people you just shouldn’t mess with… …

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Film Review: The Taking (2012)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Two strangers must discover a way to escape a sinister family who wishes to sacrifice their souls to an evil presence. REVIEW: Allow me to make myself perfectly clear here.  I love existentialism in film.  From the roots of Bergman, Godard and Kurosawa up to the contemporaries, I can’t get enough of this crap.  Considering some of the …

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Film Review: The Last Days on Mars (2013)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A group of astronaut explorers succumb one by one to a mysterious and terrifying force while collecting specimens on Mars. REVIEW: Our little red neighbor residing just over the fence at 34 million miles away has been poorly represented in film since Arnold saved the mutants in 1990’s “Total Recall.”  Even denying the pointless remake’s existence, …

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Film Review: Mulberry Street (2006)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A mysterious virus creates pandemonium as it spreads through the Big Apple in this eerie creature feature that gives new meaning to the term rat race. On a scorching day in Manhattan, the denizens of a tumbledown tenement on Mulberry Street grouse about the heat, but as night falls, they find themselves battling a horde of …

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Film Review: Unsolved (2009)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: Fifteen years after an on campus murder, students re-open the case for a class and uncover a truth more horrifying and closer to home than they ever imagined. REVIEW: Murder mysteries are something of a hard sell.  These days, the standard “Whodunnit?” template is rarely utilized as more than a springboard for creative invention.  Both 2000’s “Memento” …

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Film Review: Honeymoon (2014)

Rate This Movie SYNOPSIS: A newlywed couple finds their lake-country honeymoon descend into chaos after Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of their first night. REVIEW: How well does one truly know a significant other?  Is the length of a courtship through engagement and the exchanging of vows an ample amount of time to base the remainder …

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