Author Archives: Rob Getz

Film Review: Toxin (2015)

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SYNOPSIS: A pharmaceutical company recruits a well-known scientist to help develop a vaccine against a deadly virus. REVIEW: If reality truly did imitate art, our wacky governments would be precariously on the cusp of unleashing Armageddon upon the world with clandestine experiments in biological warfare. Life as we know it could be a well-intentioned animal rights group (“28 Days Later”) or one panicked soldier (“The Stand”) away from becoming life as the cavemen knew it. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Foreclosure (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: The story of a broken family striving to stay together while a curse and the ghosts of a haunted house try to tear them apart. REVIEW: Haunted houses are the new zombies. Though there remains no foreseeable shortage of the undead baddies gracing our screens anytime soon, isolated homesteads with dark histories are as abundant now as they were in the William Castle days of Illusion-O Vision. Coincidentally, many of our current celluloid ghost stories … Continue reading

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Film Review: Malignant (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: After the death of his wife, a grieving man becomes the victim of a horrific experiment to cure his addiction. REVIEW: There are few cinematic sins that frustrate more than a lapse in logic that is never overcome nor even confronted. Though such thematic flaws are often ignored when the film in question is garbage, they can torpedo an otherwise competent production straight out of the gate. I despise those initial unanswered questions of … Continue reading

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Film Review: Finders Keepers (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: A divorced mother of one is thrown into turmoil when her young daughter becomes obsessed with an evil doll left behind by the previous occupants of their new home. REVIEW: The SyFy network has never met a passing genre fad that it didn’t immediately fall in love with and proceed to milk into oblivion. I’m quite certain we’ll be graced with “Sharknado” sequels long after everyone has stopped giving a damn (not a complaint … Continue reading

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Film Review: Death Factory (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: A busload of strangers find themselves fighting for their lives when one of them reads from a gothic book and brings to life six dead serial killers who proceed to hunt them down one by one. REVIEW: Innocents stranded in remote surroundings are hunted by bloodthirsty maniacs. There are only so many cinematic avenues one can traverse when pursuing this premise, and most involve heavy borrowing from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Are the antagonists … Continue reading

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Film Review: Lemon Tree Passage (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A couple of Australians introduce three American backpackers to the local legend of Lemon Tree Passage where a ghost of a motorcyclist warns young drivers to slow down. After seeing the ghost first hand they uncover a malevolent force that posses the area and threatens to wreak havoc on the final days of their vacation. Isolated and ten thousand miles from home, the tourists find themselves caught in the clutches of an evil force … Continue reading

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Film Review: Asmodexia (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Five days in the lives of an exorcist (Eloy Palma) and his granddaughter (Alba), working in the Barcelona area. REVIEW: Swiftly becoming oversaturated as of late, the exorcism film is threatening to encroach upon slasher and zombie territories.  Though a nearly impossible feat to reach the sheer amount of entries both subgenres have achieved, it remains a daunting task to stifle a sigh of indifference when yet another crops up. A spell further down the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Entity (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A man deals with the personal tragedy of his family’s death by living at the vacation cabin that they last stayed at. He soon discovers he’s not alone. REVIEW: A single setting horror film is a tricky bit to pull off. Populating the limited space with one human character is an even ballsier endeavor, as it plays with the proverbial fire that is audience tedium.  Even two successful recent examples, “I Am A Ghost” … Continue reading

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Film Review: Thr33 Days Dead (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Patrick, Jeff, and Justin go to the lake to fish, and their day is ruined when zombies overtake the city. REVIEW: The fact that the term “zomcom” has become common slang in the horror community since it was coined when “Shaun of the Dead” premiered ten years ago is proof positive how much the subgenre has exploded. Though large scale efforts tend to maintain the gravitas of their presented situations, many in the independent … Continue reading

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Film Review: Mondo Cannibal (2004)

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SYNOPSIS: The network where the famous anchorwoman Grace Forsyte works, is collapsing and she would do everything to regain the favour of the audience, therefore she convinces her professional team to go to the Amazon jungle for a sensational scoop about the cannibals REVIEW: Combining the sensational brutality of mondo documentaries with the jungle adventures that saturated silver screens during Hollywood’s golden age, the cannibal genre was born. Italian directors flocked to the rainforests throughout the 1970’s, … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Thing on the Doorstep (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: A psychological horror film based on the short story by H.P. Lovecraft. Daniel Upton’s relationship with his friend Edward Derby is abruptly changed after Edward becomes romantically involved with Asenath Waite, a hypnotist with an odd reputation. As Edward’s behavior becomes more erratic and events unexplainable, Daniel investigates. Is it madness…or something far more terrifying? REVIEW: Originally published in the January 1937 issue of Weird Tales, “The Thing on the Doorstep” is not one … Continue reading

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Film Review: Lord of Illusions (1995)

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SYNOPSIS: During a routine case in L.A., NY private investigator Harry D’Amour stumbles over members of a fanatic cult, who are waiting for the resurrection of their leader Nix. 13 years ago, Nix was calmed down by his best trainee Swann. In the meantime Swann is advanced to a popular illusionist like David Copperfield and is married to the charming Dorothea. She hires D’Amour to protect Swann against the evil cult members. A short time … Continue reading

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Film Review: Play Hooky (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Seniors play hooky from high school and get trapped in an abandoned Psychiatric Facility famous for hauntings, witchcraft and demonic possession. REVIEW: Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A group of mildly attractive teens ditches class to drink some booze and smoke a bit of the wacky weed. Their party pad plans fall through, and the remaining option for a locale is the abandoned mental institution on the outskirts of town. The festivities … Continue reading

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Film Review: Lucifer’s Night (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Seven years ago, a man convinced Lucifer was within him brutally murdered his wife and child. Now, Eric and Hayley move into the same house after years of being left unsold on the market. They think they got a good deal with the house, a bargain in fact. But what they don’t know is that evil still lurks within the house and is awaiting more souls to take.

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Film Review: Grave Halloween (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: Suicide forest is just a name – isn’t it? Miko intends to find out, even if it means uncovering the sad truth about her mothers suicide REVIEW: Aokigahara, known as the Suicide Forest, lies at the northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan. It historically boasts the country’s largest suicide rate (approximately 100 per year), and is credited by some sources with holding the number two slot worldwide. Not surprising, the area is rumored … Continue reading

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Film Review: Ghost TV (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A nasty, nasty comedy. A reality TV crew is making a programme, ‘Ghost TV’ about the haunted buildings that are the ruins of Seacliff Lunatic Asylum. As one might expect things do not go to plan. One of the crew is not very emotionally stable and when she discovers that she has been used callously by another crew member she snaps and runs off into the night, only to return with violent intent. REVIEW: … Continue reading

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Film Review: Honeymoon (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: A newlywed couple finds their lake-country honeymoon descend into chaos after Paul finds Bea wandering and disoriented in the middle of their first night. REVIEW: How well does one truly know a significant other?  Is the length of a courtship through engagement and the exchanging of vows an ample amount of time to base the remainder of one’s existence upon?  Worth noting in this discussion is the fact that most married couples, happy or … Continue reading

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Film Review: Breaking at the Edge (2013)

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SYNOPSIS: A pregnant woman fears for her unborn child’s life if she doesn’t avenge a supernatural entity. REVIEW: Horror film makers are a slick bunch of operators, friends.  The trend of saddling the female lead with a vague mental illness not only throws the less wizened viewer an initial red herring, it justifies the “It’s all in your head” argument she’ll inevitably face.  Spoiler Alert: It’s never all in her head. Why is it always … Continue reading

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Film Review: 7500 (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Passengers aboard a flight across the Pacific Ocean encounter a supernatural force. REVIEW: “Ghosts on a Plane.” Aware of only a vague plot synopsis before firing up our latest, it took about halfway in for that humorous alternate title to pop into my melon. Once there, it refused to leave. My apologies to anyone I’ve doomed to the same fate in viewing. Luckily, your enjoyment of “7500” (an even worse moniker, but I have … Continue reading

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Film Review: Find Me (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: Before boxes are unpacked in their new home, newlyweds Tim and Emily, find themselves playing a very creepy game of hide and seek with a vengeful spirit. REVIEW: It was only a matter of time, friends. Firstly, I’d like to get something off my chest that has been nagging at me for a year.  I didn’t find “The Conjuring” to be anything more than an expertly recycled collection of the same haunted house clichĂ©s … Continue reading

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Film Review: Backcountry (2014)

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SYNOPSIS: An urban couple go camping in the woods and find themselves lost in the territory of a predatory black bear. REVIEW: One of the most prevalent knock-off genres of “Jaws” since its release in 1975 has been the Killer Bear Flick.  Second only to Aquatic Creatures Eating Tourists, it was a natural progression that the likes of “Grizzly” and “Claws” would be hot on the classic’s heels, depicting the lumbering woodland mammals as fierce … Continue reading

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About Rob Getz

Rob Getz was born poor and ugly in rural Michigan to a horror fanatic father and an incredibly good sport of a mother. He and his younger siblings spent countless weekend evenings ushered off in their pajamas by their parents to a local drive-in movie theater, where they were assured to be completely unconscious before the opening credits of the second film were finished rolling. Rob vaguely recalls these blurred images launching such classics as Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "The Changeling" through drooping eyelids. As he became older, he took the initiative nobody else in the Getz household had the moxie nor the energy to attempt and learned how to program their antiquated V.C.R. to record heavily edited horror films from one of the four available channels. Without these nocturnal bootlegs, there would have been no youthful introduction to the likes of "Re-Animator" or "Eraserhead." Rob wanted to be a part of this twisted universe from those days forward, regardless of the role he played. The tiniest, most insignificant cog in a machine is truly happy if it adores the machine. Even a critic.