Author Archives: Nigel Honeybone

Film Review: The Vampire Happening (1971)

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SYNOPSIS: “An American actress inherits a castle in Transylvania. What she doesn’t know is that her ancestor, the Baroness Catali, was in actuality a vampire countess, and emerges from her tomb to ravage the nearby village and Catholic seminary.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: If you’re looking for a serious movie, you may find yourself wanting to bitch-slap me for subjecting you to The Vampire Happening (1971), so all you armchair critics out there should know right … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Vampire Bat (1933)

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SYNOPSIS: “In the small village of Kleinshloss, the locals are scared with a serial killer that is draining the blood of his victims, and the Burgomaster Gustave Schoen is convinced that a vampire is responsible for the deaths. The skeptical police inspector Karl Brettschneider is reluctant to accept the existence of vampires, but the local doctor Otto Von Neiman shows literature about cases of vampirism inclusive in Amazon. When the apple street vendor Martha Mueller … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Amityville Horror (2005)

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SYNOPSIS: “George and Kathy Lutz and their three children move into a house that was the site of a horrific murder a year before. They decide to keep the house and try to keep the horror in the past. This is until, George starts to behave weirdly and their daughter, Chelsea starts to see people. What now follows is twenty-eight days of sheer terror for the family.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: So, after you’ve inspected the … Continue reading

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The Villain Of The Piece (A-K)

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We have all been touched by fictitious persons at numerous points in our lives. They have moved or amused, horrified or inspired us since early childhood. Story-telling is one of the most fundamental of human activities, probably as necessary to our mental health as eating, drinking and breathing are to our physical well-being. Story-telling is almost inconceivable without villains. In some cases those villains are scarcely human, and take the forms of supernatural beings or … Continue reading

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Universal Monsters

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In 1928, Carl Laemmle Senior made his son, Carl Laemmle Junior, head of Universal Pictures as a 21st birthday present. Woo hoo! Universal already had a reputation for nepotism – at one point, seventy of Carl Senior’s relatives were supposedly on the payroll. Many of them were nephews, resulting in Carl Senior being known around the studios as Uncle Carl. If you’re wondering how to pronounce the surname, Ogden Nash once rhymed, “Uncle Carl Laemmle, … Continue reading

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Film Review: Twelve Monkeys (1995)

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SYNOPSIS: “An unknown and lethal virus has wiped out five billion people in 1996. Only one percent of the population has survived by the year 2035, and is forced to live underground. A convict named James Cole reluctantly volunteers to be sent back in time to 1996 to gather information about the origin of the epidemic (who he is told was spread by a mysterious Army Of The Twelve Monkeys) and locate the virus before … Continue reading

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Film Review: Tormented (1960)

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SYNOPSIS: “On an island community off California, Tom Stewart is preparing to marry the woman he loves. His plans are threatened by his old girlfriend, Vi, who shows up secretly. During a confrontation at the top of the island’s lighthouse, the railing breaks and Vi falls. Tom has a chance to save her but doesn’t. Tom’s relief at Vi’s accident soon fades when her vengeful spirit begins showing up wherever he goes.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Time Machine (2002)

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SYNOPSIS: “Based on the classic science fiction novel by H.G. Wells, scientist and inventor Alexander Hartdegen is determined to prove that time travel is possible. His determination is turned to desperation by a personal tragedy that now drives him to want to change the past. Testing his theories with a time machine of his own invention, Hartdegen is hurtled 800,000 years into the future, where he discovers that mankind has divided into the hunter and … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Thing (1982)

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SYNOPSIS: “In the midst of the Antarctic snow-field, the scientists and workers of a small American research base are shocked when a helicopter begins to circle their camp, chasing and shooting at a dog. When the helicopter is destroyed and the passenger’s are killed by accident, the dog is let into the base and the American’s begin to wonder what has actually happened. The helicopter is discovered to be of Norwegian make, and probably linked … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Thing (1951)

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SYNOPSIS: “Scientists at an Arctic research station discover a spacecraft buried in the ice. Upon closer examination, they discover the frozen pilot. All hell breaks loose when they take him back to their station and he is accidentally thawed out! Producer Howard Hawks’ adaptation of the John Campbell story of an arctic expedition that runs afoul of a blood sucking alien is often credited (or blamed) with launching the evil-monster-tries-to-destroy-humanity films that were so prevalent … Continue reading

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Film Review: Them! (1954)

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SYNOPSIS: “After several people in the New Mexico desert wind up missing or dead, including an FBI agent and most of his family, police Sergeant Ben Peterson teams up with FBI agent Bob Graham to find out what’s causing the strange occurrences. They find send a strange print found at one of the crime scenes and it is sent to the Department of Agriculture. Doctor Harold Medford and his daughter Doctor Patricia Medford arrive and … Continue reading

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Film Review: Terror-Creatures From The Grave (1965)

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SYNOPSIS: “An attorney arrives at a castle to settle the estate of its recently deceased owner. The owner’s wife and daughter reveal that he was someone who was able to summon the souls of ancient plague victims and, in fact, his spirit was roaming the castle at that very moment. Soon occupants of the castle begin to die off in gruesome, violent ways.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Start cooking the spaghetti and put the sauce on … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Tenant (1976)

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SYNOPSIS: “In Paris, the shy bureaucrat Trelkovsky rents an old apartment without bathroom where the previous tenant, the Egyptologist Simone Choule, committed suicide. The unfriendly concierge (Shelley Winters) and the tough landlord Mister Zy establish stringent rules of behavior and Trekovsky feels ridden by his neighbors. Meanwhile he visits Simone in the hospital and befriends her girlfriend Stella. After the death of Simone, Trekovsky feels obsessed for her and believes his landlord and neighbors are … Continue reading

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Film Review: Teenagers From Outer Space (1959)

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SYNOPSIS: “A young alien (David Love) falls for a pretty teenage Earth girl (Dawn Anderson) and they team up to try to stop the plans of his invading cohorts, who intend to use Earth as a food-breeding ground for giant lobsters from their planet. The invaders, who arrive in a flying saucer, carry deadly ray guns that turn Earth-people into skeletons.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Possibly the most terrible and mystifying place anything could come from … Continue reading

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Film Review: Spider Baby (1968)

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SYNOPSIS: “In a dilapidated rural mansion, the last generation of the degenerate, inbred Merrye family lives with the inherited curse of a disease that causes them to mentally regress from the age of ten-or-so on as they physically develop. The family chauffeur looks out for them and covers up their indiscretions. Trouble comes when greedy distant relatives and their lawyer arrive to dispossess the family of its home.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW:

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Film Review: Snowbeast (1977)

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SYNOPSIS: “Mystery hangs over the Rill Ski Resort in Colorado after a young skier is found killed by an animal. But no ordinary animal. The Town Sheriff and Naturalists believe it could be a Yeti – the creature that was seen for years in the Colorado Rockies and North Western America. After many other skiers are found dead, Tony Rill a good hunter sees a white creature disappearing into the woods. Worried he informs his … Continue reading

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About Nigel Honeybone

Wee Willie"Nigel Honeybone's debut was as Hamlet's dead father, portraying him as a tall posh skeleton. This triumph was followed in Richard III, as the remains of a young prince which he interpreted as a tall posh skeleton. He began attracting starring roles. Henry VIII was scaled down to suit Honeybone's very personalised view of this famous king. Honeybone suggested that perhaps he really was quite skeletal, quite tall, and quite posh. MacBeth, Shylock and Othello followed, all played as tall, skeletal and posh, respectively. Considering his reputation for playing tall English skeletons, many believed that the real Honeybone inside to be something very different, like a squat hunchback perhaps. Interestingly enough, Honeybone did once play a squat hunchback, but it was as a tall posh skeleton. But he was propelled into the film world when, in Psycho (1960), he wore women's clothing for the very first time. The seed of an idea was planted and, after working with director Ed Wood for five years, he realised the unlimited possibilities of tall posh skeletons who dressed in women's clothing. He went on to wear women's clothing in thirteen major motion pictures, including the Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Star Wars (1977), heartbreaking as the remains of Aunt Beru. With the onslaught of special effects came the demise of real actors in these sorts of roles. After modeling for CGI skeletons in Total Recall (1990) and Toys (1992), the only possible step forward for a tall posh skeleton was television, imparting his knowledge and expertise of the arts. As well as writing for the world's best genre news website HORROR NEWS, Nigel Honeybone is currently signed to star in a new series for television presenting the finest examples of B-grade horror. THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW is seen on Friday nights at 10.30pm on TVS Television Sydney, and where ever good Youtube downloads are available." (Fantales candy wrapper circa 2007)