Author Archives: Nigel Honeybone

Film Review: Twelve Monkeys (1995)

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SYNOPSIS: “An unknown and lethal virus has wiped out five billion people in 1996. Only one percent of the population has survived by the year 2035, and is forced to live underground. A convict named James Cole reluctantly volunteers to be sent back in time to 1996 to gather information about the origin of the epidemic (who he is told was spread by a mysterious Army Of The Twelve Monkeys) and locate the virus before … Continue reading

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Film Review: Tormented (1960)

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SYNOPSIS: “On an island community off California, Tom Stewart is preparing to marry the woman he loves. His plans are threatened by his old girlfriend, Vi, who shows up secretly. During a confrontation at the top of the island’s lighthouse, the railing breaks and Vi falls. Tom has a chance to save her but doesn’t. Tom’s relief at Vi’s accident soon fades when her vengeful spirit begins showing up wherever he goes.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Time Machine (2002)

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SYNOPSIS: “Based on the classic science fiction novel by H.G. Wells, scientist and inventor Alexander Hartdegen is determined to prove that time travel is possible. His determination is turned to desperation by a personal tragedy that now drives him to want to change the past. Testing his theories with a time machine of his own invention, Hartdegen is hurtled 800,000 years into the future, where he discovers that mankind has divided into the hunter and … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Thing (1982)

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SYNOPSIS: “In the midst of the Antarctic snow-field, the scientists and workers of a small American research base are shocked when a helicopter begins to circle their camp, chasing and shooting at a dog. When the helicopter is destroyed and the passenger’s are killed by accident, the dog is let into the base and the American’s begin to wonder what has actually happened. The helicopter is discovered to be of Norwegian make, and probably linked … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Thing (1951)

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SYNOPSIS: “Scientists at an Arctic research station discover a spacecraft buried in the ice. Upon closer examination, they discover the frozen pilot. All hell breaks loose when they take him back to their station and he is accidentally thawed out! Producer Howard Hawks’ adaptation of the John Campbell story of an arctic expedition that runs afoul of a blood sucking alien is often credited (or blamed) with launching the evil-monster-tries-to-destroy-humanity films that were so prevalent … Continue reading

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Film Review: Them! (1954)

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SYNOPSIS: “After several people in the New Mexico desert wind up missing or dead, including an FBI agent and most of his family, police Sergeant Ben Peterson teams up with FBI agent Bob Graham to find out what’s causing the strange occurrences. They find send a strange print found at one of the crime scenes and it is sent to the Department of Agriculture. Doctor Harold Medford and his daughter Doctor Patricia Medford arrive and … Continue reading

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Film Review: Terror-Creatures From The Grave (1965)

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SYNOPSIS: “An attorney arrives at a castle to settle the estate of its recently deceased owner. The owner’s wife and daughter reveal that he was someone who was able to summon the souls of ancient plague victims and, in fact, his spirit was roaming the castle at that very moment. Soon occupants of the castle begin to die off in gruesome, violent ways.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Start cooking the spaghetti and put the sauce on … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Tenant (1976)

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SYNOPSIS: “In Paris, the shy bureaucrat Trelkovsky rents an old apartment without bathroom where the previous tenant, the Egyptologist Simone Choule, committed suicide. The unfriendly concierge (Shelley Winters) and the tough landlord Mister Zy establish stringent rules of behavior and Trekovsky feels ridden by his neighbors. Meanwhile he visits Simone in the hospital and befriends her girlfriend Stella. After the death of Simone, Trekovsky feels obsessed for her and believes his landlord and neighbors are … Continue reading

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Film Review: Teenagers From Outer Space (1959)

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SYNOPSIS: “A young alien (David Love) falls for a pretty teenage Earth girl (Dawn Anderson) and they team up to try to stop the plans of his invading cohorts, who intend to use Earth as a food-breeding ground for giant lobsters from their planet. The invaders, who arrive in a flying saucer, carry deadly ray guns that turn Earth-people into skeletons.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Possibly the most terrible and mystifying place anything could come from … Continue reading

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Film Review: Spider Baby (1968)

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SYNOPSIS: “In a dilapidated rural mansion, the last generation of the degenerate, inbred Merrye family lives with the inherited curse of a disease that causes them to mentally regress from the age of ten-or-so on as they physically develop. The family chauffeur looks out for them and covers up their indiscretions. Trouble comes when greedy distant relatives and their lawyer arrive to dispossess the family of its home.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW:

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Film Review: Snowbeast (1977)

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SYNOPSIS: “Mystery hangs over the Rill Ski Resort in Colorado after a young skier is found killed by an animal. But no ordinary animal. The Town Sheriff and Naturalists believe it could be a Yeti – the creature that was seen for years in the Colorado Rockies and North Western America. After many other skiers are found dead, Tony Rill a good hunter sees a white creature disappearing into the woods. Worried he informs his … Continue reading

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Small Men And Tall Women

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Possibly the most interesting science fiction film of 1957 was Jack Arnold‘s The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957). After passing through a radioactive cloud while on a motor boat, combined with later exposure to dangerous pesticides, the man begins to decrease in size, slowly at first, and then much faster. By the time he’s a mere three feet tall it’s become obvious to both his wife and himself that things are never going to be the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Slipstream (1989)

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SYNOPSIS: “In the future, natural disasters (earthquakes, floods) have ravaged the Earth, leaving the Earth as a world where pockets of communities live within canyons whilst a violent wind known as the Slipstream rules the Earth and the only means of transport are airplanes. Matt Owens is a daredevil adventurer who kidnaps Byron, a fugitive wanted for murder, who is the prisoner of law officer Will Tasker so he can claim the bounty for himself. … Continue reading

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Film Review: Silent Running (1972)

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SYNOPSIS: “Freeman Lowell looks after plants in giant space greenhouses. Back on earth, all the trees have long vanished, so Lowell puts a lot of heart into his work. When orders from earth are received to destroy the greenhouses, Lowell can’t go through with it, and cannot persuade his three colleagues to help him save the plants, so he makes other arrangements.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Films about outer space and space travel were thin on … Continue reading

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Film Review: The She-Beast (1966)

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SYNOPSIS: “A young woman is driving alongside a lake. She has an accident and the car plunges into the water. Her body is then possessed by the spirit of an eighteenth-century witch who was killed by local villagers, and is bent on avenging herself on them.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: Good to see you, even you who sent the email describing me as “Severely handicapped by a tragic lack of talent.” Yahweh forbid that I should … Continue reading

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Interview: Shane Porteous as Deadly Earnest

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Way back in the sixties, way before Elvira, a favourite amongst Australian students was Deadly Earnest, the television schlock horror host on the 0-10 Network. Late on Friday nights, the atrocious old science fiction and horror films became compulsory viewing, solely because of the Gothic Master of Ceremonies. Actors portraying Deadly Earnest were: Ian Bannerman (TEN-10 Sydney); Ralph Baker (ATV-0 Melbourne); Shane Porteous (TVQ-0 Brisbane); and Hedley Cullen (SAS-10 Adelaide). Shane Porteous brought Deadly Earnest … Continue reading

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Film Review: Sewer Chewer (2010)

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SYNOPSIS: “Sewer Chewer is a tribute to the creature features of the seventies and eighties drive-in movies. A space satellite falls to earth and lands in a rural area, radiating the local wildlife into a mutant monster that has a large appetite for humans. An unnamed government agency sends a special agent out to dispose of the satellite and the mutant and any who know of it.” (courtesy IMDB) REVIEW: I watched Sewer Chewer (2010) … Continue reading

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Film Review: Screamers (1995)

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SYNOPSIS: “Sirius 6B – year 2078. On a distant mining planet ravaged by a decade of war, scientists have created the perfect weapon: a blade-wielding, self-replicating race of killing devices known as Screamers designed for one purpose only – to hunt down and destroy all enemy life forms. But man’s greatest weapon has continued to evolve without any human guidance, and now it has devised a new mission: to obliterate all life. Colonel Hendricksson is … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Satanic Rites Of Dracula (1973)

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SYNOPSIS: “In London in the seventies, Scotland Yard police investigators think they have uncovered a case of vampirism. They call in an expert vampire researcher named Van Helsing (a descendant of the great vampire-hunter himself, no less) to help them put a stop to these hideous crimes. It becomes apparent that the culprit is Count Dracula himself, disguised as a reclusive property developer, but secretly plotting to unleash a fatal virus upon the world.” (courtesy … Continue reading

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Film Review: Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)

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SYNOPSIS: “Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with television shows from Earth which promote the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do … Continue reading

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Samurai Jack (TV series)

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The nineties was the breakthrough decade for television cartoons. While The Simpsons might have brought some long-overdue respect to prime-time animation, Cartoon Network and Comedy Network viewers are likely to be the only ones to truly realise the extent of the weird and wonderful stuff going on in television animation, since Ren And Stimpy brought gross-out gags, psychological torture and retro-styled artwork back into vogue two decades ago. Whilst the limited budgets and tight deadlines … Continue reading

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About Nigel Honeybone

Wee Willie"Nigel Honeybone's debut was as Hamlet's dead father, portraying him as a tall posh skeleton. This triumph was followed in Richard III, as the remains of a young prince which he interpreted as a tall posh skeleton. He began attracting starring roles. Henry VIII was scaled down to suit Honeybone's very personalised view of this famous king. Honeybone suggested that perhaps he really was quite skeletal, quite tall, and quite posh. MacBeth, Shylock and Othello followed, all played as tall, skeletal and posh, respectively. Considering his reputation for playing tall English skeletons, many believed that the real Honeybone inside to be something very different, like a squat hunchback perhaps. Interestingly enough, Honeybone did once play a squat hunchback, but it was as a tall posh skeleton. But he was propelled into the film world when, in Psycho (1960), he wore women's clothing for the very first time. The seed of an idea was planted and, after working with director Ed Wood for five years, he realised the unlimited possibilities of tall posh skeletons who dressed in women's clothing. He went on to wear women's clothing in thirteen major motion pictures, including the Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Star Wars (1977), heartbreaking as the remains of Aunt Beru. With the onslaught of special effects came the demise of real actors in these sorts of roles. After modeling for CGI skeletons in Total Recall (1990) and Toys (1992), the only possible step forward for a tall posh skeleton was television, imparting his knowledge and expertise of the arts. As well as writing for the world's best genre news website HORROR NEWS, Nigel Honeybone is currently signed to star in a new series for television presenting the finest examples of B-grade horror. THE SCHLOCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW is seen on Friday nights at 10.30pm on TVS Television Sydney, and where ever good Youtube downloads are available." (Fantales candy wrapper circa 2007)