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12 Bad Jokes About Daybreakers

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Daybreakers (2009), is a vampire film noir hybrid, with a futuristic vein (see what I did there?), starring Ethan Hawke, Sam Neil and Willem Dafoe. It is directed by the Spierig brothers, Michael and Peter. The film is about a human blood shortage affecting the vampires and the struggle to find a suitable replacement. It’s quite stylish and entertaining. So …

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12 Bad Jokes About: The Final Destination Franchise

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Final Destination 5 (2011), is directed by Steven Quale.This is the latest installment of the F.D.franchise.Quale, along with previous directors James Wong, David R.Ellis (two F.D. films each), brings an interesting idea to the screen. Premonitions of death and cheating death itself, are the common threads.Tony Todd takes another turn in his reoccurring role.The uncommon thread, is the one we …

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12 Bad Jokes About: Insidious

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Insidious (2011), is a delightful haunting/possession film directed by James Wan. It’s a film about a family and their attempts to prevent the suddenly comatose son, from being possessed by spirits from a realm called “The Further”. You don’t think that we could conjur up some badjokes about this film, do you?! In fact I feel that I “possess” the …

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12 Bad Jokes About Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl

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Vampire Girl vs.Frankenstein Girl (2009) , is an over the top gore filled, fun-fest, directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Naoyuki Tomomatsu.The film has a love triangle, between Vampire Girl(Monami) , Frankenstein Girl(Keiko) and Mizushima. Throw in some satirical content about “the wrist-cutting society”, some do-wop songs, and buckets and buckets of spraying blood, I must, nay-have to take a bite …

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Book Review: Monster Gallery Coloring Book

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THE MONSTER GALLERY COLORING BOOK Copyright 1973,Trubadour Press. Reprinted in1980 by Starstream Products with permission. Text by Leah Waskey Illustrated by Mark Savee Well, Maniacs! Let me welcome you to the Vintage Zone at horrornews.net. I’m sure that some of you are wondering “Monstermatt, a coloring book? Come on,you can’t be serious?!” Of Corpse , I am! It’s true.I’m going to share …

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12 Bad Jokes About ‘Rubber’

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12 Bad Jokes About ‘Rubber’ “Rubber”(2010) is a horror film directed by Quentin Dupieux. The very unique villain Robert is a self aware tire.Robert has telekinetic powers.Although being a tire you could say he has “tele-pneumatic” powers. He’s on the rampage against a small desert town.Bringing interesting ways of getting his “steel belted” points across! Is it “bias” that makes …

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12 Bad Jokes About: Black Swan

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12 Bad Jokes About:Black Swan “Black Swan” is a drama/thriller movie starring Natalie Portman, and directed by Darren Aronofsky. In it, Natalie Portman’s character lands the lead role in the ballet, “Swan Lake”. From that point,it’s a downward spiral into madness. I’ll bet you didn’t think ballet could be this fun, did you?! Well, let’s break out our leotards,and tutus, …

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12 Jokes about Christmas themed horror

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Ho! Ho! Horror! It’s the holiday season,and there are horror films firmly in the spirit and theme of Christmas! Some even have remakes or sequels? Yes it’s true (shudder!). Check out these titles: Silent Night,Deadly Night. Black Christmas. Christmas Evil. Santa’s Slay. Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas. Gremlins. Santa Klaws. To All a Good Night. Jack Frost. Rare Exports:A Christmas Tale. …

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12 Bad Jokes About District 9

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12 Bad Jokes About District 9 District 9, (2009), directed by Neill Blomkamp, is about a race of aliens living on earth.Unfortunately, they are forced to live in camps or slums.They are treated as a low life form.They get nicknamed “prawns”. The story gets a twist, when a government agent gets exposed to the prawns technology.The way he has to …

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12 The Last Exorcism Jokes

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The Last Excorcism, is about a minister reluctantly performing a spirit removal, or excorcism, in front of a film documentary crew. It’s directed by Daniel Stamm, and produced by Eli Roth, among others. 1. What did the minister do , when his subject was possesed by the spirit of Charles Atlas? Performed his “Last Flex-orcism”! 2. What do you call …

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12 Pirahna 3D Jokes

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Piranha3D is directed by Alexandre Aja,and will be in theaters this summer(2010). It is the story of prehistoric man-eating fish,getting set free by an underwater earthquake/tremor. A feeding frenzy is to follow, as the little things tear up some springbreakers on a lovely beach! It stars Elizabeth Shue, Eli Roth, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Richard Dreyfuss, and more… Let’s test …

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12 Dead Snow Jokes!

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The 2009 Norwegian horror/comedy film, Dead Snow, or Dod Sno, is directed by Tommy Wirkola.It centers on med students spending their spring break on a ski trip, in a cabin. What they don’t know, is they are about to be attacked by Nazi Zombies! (It could happen)… I love snow! I love Zombies! Heck, I love movies that vilify Nazis! …

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