Author Archives: Melissa Voelker

Film Review: Witchcraft (1989)

Witchcraft_(1989)

SYNOPSIS: A new mother and her child move into her mother-in-law’s dark old mansion. She soon begns to suspect that neither the house nor her mother-in-law are quite what they seem to be.

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Film Review: Elevator (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: Racism collides with corporate greed when nine strangers are trapped in a Wall Street elevator, and one of them has a bomb. They will do anything to survive. REVIEW: Little kids suck. I’m sure that isn’t a popular opinion, but after watching this film I dare anyone to argue with me. The lady with the bomb and the racist comedian and the millionaire bastard are just red herrings. The Big Bad of this film … Continue reading

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Film Review: Edge of Sanity (1989)

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SYNOPSIS: When Henry Jekyll’s experiments with cocaine have gotten out of control, he transforms into the hideous Jack Hyde. As Hyde he searches the London streets at night for his prey in whorehouses and opium dens. The police can’t catch him, he has nothing to lose but his mind…(IMDB) REVIEW: I am a big fan of fanfiction, especially crossover stories where characters from one fandom are thrown into the universe of another fandom. But until … Continue reading

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Film Review: Toxic Zombies (1980)

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SYNOPSIS: After drug crops are sprayed with a chemical by a passing airplane, the growers of the crop are poisoned by the chemical and turn into zombie-like mutants. REVIEW: It is amazing to me how much the events of the last few months have changed how I look at zombie movies. Take Toxic Zombies (otherwise known as Bloodeaters) for instance. This was not a great zombie movie. Heck, it wasn’t even an okay zombie movie. … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Watermen (2011)

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SYNOPSIS: A clan of watermen capture a crew of sport fishermen who must then fight for their lives. REVIEW: As far as horror sub-genres go, I have never been particularly fond of torture p*rn. Oftentimes good story telling is neglected in favor or over-the-top gore and violence. While watching people get skinned alive is certainly cringe-worthy, I don’t think it is necessarily scary. And I want my horror movies to scare me. Hostel is a … Continue reading

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Film Review: The Inner Room (2011)

SYNOPSIS: While visiting a cabin with her husband, Julianne becomes disturbed with horrific visions which question her sanity. REVIEW: I just spent 15 minutes trying to decide if I could get away with my entire review saying only: This film is pointless. But that doesn’t seem fair. Not to the people that actually took the time to make this movie or the people interested in finding out whether it is worth watching. So I’ll soldier … Continue reading

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Book Review: Night Terrors II – Editors Theresa Dillon | Marc Ciccarone

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Blood Bound Books 2011, 235 pages, 28 stories Synopsis: Just when you thought it was safe to crawl back into bed … we’ve got a new set of terrors! If Night Terrors made you pray for dawn, Volume II will send you into total madness. Step inside the secret chambers of the Vatican and experience the dark side of the papal elections. Meet people only a mother could love, listen to the dead speak, and … Continue reading

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Film Review: Machete Joe (2010)

Machete Joe (2010)

SYNOPSIS: A group of out-of-work actors decide to take their careers into their own hands by shooting a low-budget horror film, about an urban myth. With only 15 days to shoot their unfinished script, at a remote castle in the desert, getting through the first night becomes a nightmare. As their egos begin to surface so do the dead bodies. REVIEW: In the form of a dialogue between me and my boyfriend/viewing partner – Me: … Continue reading

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Film Review: Urban Explorer (2011)

Urban Explorer (2011) Movie

SYNOPSIS: Anxious to explore the mysterious hidden world under metropolitan Berlin, an international group of four urban explorers hires a local guide, Kris, who leads them into the maze of escape tunnels and subterranean fortifications under the city. When their guide has a bad fall, two of the girls in the group frantically set off to seek help while Denis, the young American, stays behind. Armin, a former East German border guard suddenly appears from … Continue reading

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Film Review: By the Devil’s Hands (2009)

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SYNOPSIS: The 666 Killer kills 6 victims over 6 days, 6 ways to die…and, unfortunately, Jamie Anderson has been chosen as victim #6. REVIEW: Let us talk about the giant mess that was By the Devil’s Hands. Though honestly I’m a bit at a loss as to where to even start. There was just so MUCH that was wacky going on here. Perhaps I will begin with a brief letter to the production company (and … Continue reading

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Film Review: Grimm’s Snow White (2012)

Grimm's Snow White 2012

SYNOPSIS: When the King is killed by ferocious reptile beasts, his Queen takes control of the kingdom. She tries to kill her beautiful stepdaughter SNOW, but she escapes into the enchanted forest… REVIEW: What would the world be like without The Asylum? Those fabulous makers and distrubutors of such screen gems as Titanic II, 2010 Moby Dick, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Transmorphers, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, The Terminators, and Snakes on a Train. Did … Continue reading

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Book Review: Home – Author Carson Buckingham

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HOME Following the deaths of her mother and beloved aunt, Kate Kavanagh inherits the family homestead in the Irish enclave of Three Oaks, Conneticut; but once she moves in, Kate begins a gradual but terrifying biological transformation that is part of her inheritance, too; though not mentioned in the Will. With the help of a Rottweiler that’s more human than animal, a new friend whose farm stand is only open dusk to dawn, and the … Continue reading

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Film Review: Slugs – The Movie (1988)

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SYNOPSIS: It all began in a peaceful community, a place that had never known evil…until now. But 20 years ago in a stillness beneath the waters, something sinister happened and now its deadly spawn has been released, coming out from the depths into the light. First they got into the water system, now they’ll get into your system….how can they be stopped?

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Film Review: Donner Pass (2012)

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SYNOPSIS: Donner Pass has a well-known and macabre history – the place where George Donner and his party got stuck in the winter of 1846 and were forced to resort to cannibalism to keep from starving. But what if it wasn’t just history? REVIEW: When this started I was all excited because it was a group of dirty old settlers up in the woods, in the snow, starving and freezing to death and trying to … Continue reading

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Film Review: Dolls (1987)

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SYNOPSIS: A group of people stop by a mansion during a storm and discover two magical toy makers, and their haunted collection of dolls. REVIEW: Stop motion is a dying art form, so any time I can see a great old example of it I get pretty excited. I certainly wasn’t expecting to see it in Dolls, which, let’s be honest, from the premise sounds a little silly. Sure large collections of dolls can be … Continue reading

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Book Review: Shining in Crimson (Empire of Blood #1) – Author: Robert S. Wilson

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Synopsis: Set in a dystopian, religiously-demented American Empire, the city of Las Vegas is no longer a city of sin. Now called Necropolis, it is a city that eats sin. The vampires of Necropolis wait patiently for the Empire’s weekly drop off of guilty Penitents; sinners and criminals full of fresh blood. Hank Evans is one of those Penitents and he would gladly let the vampires take every drop of his blood if it weren’t … Continue reading

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Book Review: The Brides – Author Raven c.s. McCracken

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2011, ebook $.99 Synopsis: A dark, sinister, sexy and clever take on the origins of The Brides of Dracula. Think cross between an old school horror book and the TV show Dexter (yes, the one about the serial killer). A new, original twist on the classic vampire tale, set in present-day Las Vegas. Review: The thing about the world today is that there are too many damn vampires in it. The undead bloodsuckers are everywhere … Continue reading

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Book Review: Blood Feud – The Saga of Pandora Zwieback Book 1 – Author Steven A. Roman

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Published by Starwarp Concepts 2011, $14.94 310 pages Synopsis: Sixteen-year-old Goth girl Pandora Zwieback has a major problem: she’s just discovered that her New York City hometown is the stalking ground for every monster and ghoul out to raise a little hell (literally!) . . . BUT she’s apparently the only one who can see them. That means she can’t tell her friends or family about the dangers around them – not unless she wants … Continue reading

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Book Review: Unpleasant Tales – Author Brendan Connell

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Unpleasant Tales EibonVale, July 2010 321 pages “From the comic to the shocking, from the refined to the visceral, and blurring the boundaries between all four – Unpleasant Tales is a remarkable new collection of some of Brendan Connell’s darkest stories. Drenched in gluttony and decadence and with a scope stretching from the depravity of rulers in ancient Greece and Renaissance Spain, to phantasmagorical body alteration in Zurich and New York, these are supremely refined … Continue reading

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Top 10 Stephen King Films of All Time

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There are dozens (literally, I counted) of films, television movies, mini-series, short films, and even television series based on the works of Stephen King. So picking a list of just ten titles to claim as his “Top 10 Films” takes alot of thought and effort and decision making. Should I include the short films, many of which are hard to find and only limited audiences have ever seen? What about TV movies, or TV miniseries? … Continue reading

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Book Review: The Order of the Blood – Authors Nicole Vlachos and Lane Morris

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THE ORDER OF THE BLOOD Published by: Black Bed Sheet, April 2011 458pgs, $17.98 Synopsis: Once, vampires of the Order of the Blood were revered and respected, but a change in political tides and waves of genocide forced them into hiding. Now, split into two factions with very different means to the end of regaining their freedoms, the brothers of the Order face a resurgence of public fear and hatred. A newly turned vampire – … Continue reading

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