Looking for Reviewers to Review Crappy Horror Movies!!

BlackensteinposterI wanted to be up front as possible in this call out. As a go-to horror site we receive alot of titles that I literally at times wonder if its even worth the effort to unwrap, download or receive.

Let alone send onto to other reviewers……..

I won’t embarrass the studios or name titles or names, however we do receive ALOT of these things which on the most part probably are being used as coasters by other sites without any sign of seeing the light of day.

Now to be fair, this is an assumption of the films, which in some cases have surprised even me as being somewhat top notch. Though the trademark signs are usually there…..bad titles, band covers, photography on back looks bad and then of course the tell tale sign of cheaply produced video quality.

This anti-marketing approach may just happen to suit a few brave souls out there who want to spend the time to watch, review and post to HNN.

So guess what? We are sending out a call to reviewers who are interested in reviewing “assumed” crappy horror films. The least our site can do is post them and make the filmmakers happy that “someone” cared. We also need to get some reviewers on older titles, that may or may not be so crappy…however if so, then …well….. have at them.

If you don’t mind downloading “private folder” digital copies to review and write about…….then drop us a line at positions@horrornews.net

Requirements:

Now we do ask that you also follow our site standards of refraining from inappropriate language and keeping the reviews to a 650 word min. We have found that this also gives the writers an online portfolio of written works which may serve you elsewhere.

We also request that you forward an example of your writing skills, as despite the films, we still need writing standards to be up to par.

Please note that you will be a our go-to guy or gal for these films, as long as you can take it. Aka our Crappy Film reviewer

This is for site contribution only, but you’ll be helping the genre with your crappy review…..so hurah!

Please Read:
The title of this post is literal, this does not mean you’ll be getting culty cool films ( though they may be still culty or cool to you if you end up liking them….) Films may range from new, to 70s, 80s and 90s depending on what we have ready for you. This post just keeps things clarified to you if the next 6 films you review end up being complete crap or unbearable to sit thru. The key takeaway here is that “you” took the time to inform others before they invested time making your efforts really worthwhile and needed to the horror genre community. It’s rough, but someone has to do it!

Battlefield-earth

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HNN is a full featured Horror resource that focuses on News, Upcoming Horror Film Releases, Reviews, Articles, Interviews, Art, Trailers and Industry Features.

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14 Responses to Looking for Reviewers to Review Crappy Horror Movies!!

  1. Fred Nichols says:

    I would love to do it!!!!!!!!!

  2. wow, I didnt expect anyone to answer this ……let alone the 15 responses I just got wanting to take it on………… oh man, gluttons for punishment i suppose

    • Jesse says:

      I hate myself enough to make myself watch crappy movies. It’s what I’m known for at this point.

  3. I would truly enjoy this job. I suggest you send us all a crappy movie to watch and judge for your self from the reviews. In fact I would find this challenge an opportunity to work on greater projects.

  4. SteelScissorsInYourSkull says:

    I’m considering my application.

    P.S. Would our reviews be edited to correct grammatical errors such as ‘alot’ which isn’t actually a word?

    • By the tone of your question, I don’t find that you would be a good it. Plus we are looking for reviewers to review them who are “not” based purely on a foundation of cruelty…so no thanx…… we’ve also had ALOT of inquiries.

      • Anonymous says:

        Uh oh . . . A foundation of cruelty is my hook.

      • SteelScissorsInYourSkull says:

        A reviewer without cruelty is like a surgeon without a scalpel. Alas, I have been CRUELLY rejected leaving me with time to either comment on the reviews here or murder and eat small children. Muoahahahaha!

  5. The Black Saint says:

    FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, GOD ALMIGHTY I’M FREE AT LAST!!!

    • Black Saint has just been promoted to reviewer of “not so crappy” movies. Which seeing that he catches many of the theatre releases… actually has reviewed better movies than me….. so maybe its me who needs the upgrade

  6. stacy says:

    That would be the best job ever.

  7. The Black Saint says:

    As the person who willingly subjected himself to watching a lot of these “Crappy Movies” over the last few years I just want to say that it was a hell of a lot of fun. Of course there were times when I was watching something particularly awful and wondered to myself “Why me?” but I always had fun despite my protestations.

    And as a film festival judge (Macabre Film Faire, Fear Fete & NYC Horror Film Festival) I’m still subjected to some criminally bad films, both full length features & short films. So still I find myself knee deep in the crap, there’s no true way to get away from them if you love watching movies.

    As someone who watches 10-15 films a week there’s no way I can avoid watching bad ones. I grew up watching bad films & truly love when I get an especially terrible one to screen. All I can say to whomever snags the position is to remember that you’re not watching “THE GODFATHER” or “CITIZEN KANE”. Watch them for what they are, not for what you expect them to be. You’ll be watching the end result of someone’s blood, sweat & tears and no matter how bad a film it might be I always respected that.

    Bottom line? Just have fun. Good luck!

    • well said, there are times when Saints even need to move on to better things………….. for the new guys, I hope you are able to embrace patience ;)

  8. We’ve decided on 6 preliminary reviewers to tackle the tidal wave of releases. That should be plenty for the moment. This also means that studios who’s releases have been waiting due to assumed low production value should finally get some coverage.

    Really you never can truly tell till you’ve sat thru a film in all fairness, so there might be some that surprise!

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