10 Horror Movie Rumors that Never Took Place (and by the Grace of God Never Will)
People just generally enjoy spreading rumors, especially in the horror movie business.
I’ve heard a ton of horror flick rumors during my day and while some of them sound like they had the potential to be true there are others that are just so out there and downright weird that I dismissed them immediately. I not sure where or how some of the stranger ones get started and can’t help but wonder sometimes if people aren’t just making them up out of pure boredom. While some of the rumors discussed in this article may actually end up becoming a reality at some point there is a vast number of them that didn’t and hopefully never will. Join me now as I take a look at 10 horror movie rumors that never came true (in no particular order).
Note: Some of these sound very unbelievable and though it may appear that I just made them up I promise that none of the rumors on my list are of my own creation and that I heard them from a number of other sources. Enjoy!
10. Geretta Geretta is Remaking Demons
I love Demons and think that it is one of the best horror movies of all time for a number of reasons. It scared the living shit out of me when I was a wee lad of about eleven or twelve and has just always held a special place in my heart. I was always worried that eventually someone was going to remake it (and ruin it), and back in 2007 my fears were almost realized. I remember hearing a rumor that Geretta Geretta (who does an awesome job of playing the first person who becomes a demon in the original) somehow owned the rights to the film and was getting ready to remake it. I was less than thrilled by this news as you can imagine but at least I could take comfort that someone associated with the original movie who knew something about it was going to be producing it as opposed to it being someone like Michael Bay and his crew of equally incompetent flunkies over at Platinum Dunes (who have already taken a massive shit on many a horror classic thanks to their horrible remakes) behind it. Six years have passed since then and I haven’t really heard anymore about this so I assume that it isn’t happening anymore or it was just a load of bull to begin with. I can’t say that I’m disappointed and even though I don’t think that Geretta would do a bad job remaking it the whole thing just seems unnecessary to me as the original still holds up pretty damn well.
9. Jaws 5 Heading Your Way Soon
There have been countless rumors about Jaws 5 going into production at any given minute for the last fifteen years or so but so far none of them have been concrete. At one point I heard that the plot was going to revolve around not one, not two, not three, but five great white sharks terrorizing a San Francisco beach (why not Amity? I guess these sharks needed a change of scenery or something) while Matt Hooper-and possibly Brody’s kid that didn’t get eaten in the fourth movie-came to the rescue on some sort of watercraft (that also conveniently doubled as a floating marine lab) dubbed “The Orca II.” I also remember reading somewhere that the film was instead going to be a prequel that focused on a young Quint and his fellow sailors fighting off sharks after the sinking of the USS Indianapolis. I’m not sure which one of these is supposed to be the actual plot and I don’t guess it really matters because this film appears to be dead in the water and will never see the light of day anyway (which is probably a good thing considering how terrible the last two installments of the series was).
8. Michael Myers VS Pinhead
After Freddy VS Jason finally became a reality (more on this in a bit) many horror fans (and money-hungry studio executives) wanted to see more horror icons duke it out on the big screen. One of these movies that was supposed to have happened was featured Michael Myers of Halloween fame going toe-to-toe with Pinhead from the Hellraiser series. I personally never thought that this sounded like an interesting (or good) idea as each character is just a little too different and I couldn’t imagine what could possibly happen to cause the two to even meet, but less fight. Still, I knew a lot of my fellow horror geeks who were foaming at the mouth at the possibility of seeing these two tussle but alas it just wasn’t to be. I didn’t lose any sleep over the fact that the idea was dropped but there were a lot of folks out there who were heartbroken when they found out the film wasn’t going to happen, and to this day I still hear rumblings about it from time-to-time from hopeful fans who are still dying to see it become a reality. I think I’d rather see a film that had Chucky kicking the shit out of the Leprechaun or even The Blob facing off against that trash bag-looking thingie lurking about in the lake from “The Raft” segment from Creepshow II instead to be honest, but I’m pretty sure that neither one of those are ever going to happen either (and for the record my money would have been on Michael as I think he would have beaten Pinhead’s ass all over the place).
7. The Birds Remake is Coming Soon
I hate most remakes and think that there are just some films that just shouldn’t be remade. Along with The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby, The Birds is at the top of that list. Several years ago though there was a rumor that it was in the process of being remade (thanks to Satan’s favorite production company Platinum Dunes) and that Naomi Watts and George Clooney were set to star in it. Several directors such as Martin Campbell and Eli Roth (I seriously doubt the latter as he has too much respect for such a classic horror film to be a part of anything like this) were supposedly interested in helming it at different points but ended up moving on to other projects. As far as I know the film currently resides in the realm of development hell where it will hopefully remain for all eternity as I have to urge whatsoever to see Clooney battling CGI birds.
6. Billy Bob Thornton is the New Freddy Krueger
This one was actually pretty widespread and a lot of people believed it until it was officially announced that Jackie Earle Haley had landed the role. When I first heard about it I literally shuddered as just the very thought of Thornton donning the iconic sweater, fedora, and glove made me physically ill. I had very low expectations for the remake (which were at the bottom to begin with as there was no reason that the film needed to be remade in the first place) but casting the guy from Sling Blade just seemed beyond ridiculous to me for a number of reasons and was on par with casting Nic Cage as Jason Voorhees in my opinion. Of course Thornton ended up not playing the part but looking back I don’t think that it really would have mattered anyway because the film was a total train wreck and in the long run it didn’t really matter who was cast in the role as there is only one true Freddy, and that man’s name is Robert Englund.
5. Gus Van Sant is Getting another Shot at Psycho
I’m not entirely sure how accurate this one is but at one point the horror community was all up in arms about it (and with good reason). After attempting (and failing miserably) to do a good shot-for-shot remake of the beloved horror classic back in 1998 (which no doubt caused the late, great Alfred Hitchcock to spin in his grave like a top) director Gus Van Sant decided that he wanted to try it again, this time with his own original spin on it. I recall him saying that he wanted to make Norman Bates some sort of punk rocker-type guy who worked at a nightclub during the 1970’s as opposed to having him just be some timid, meek guy who ran a motel with his dead mother. I mean come on folks, because this is what the fans of the original really wanted to see instead. I know when I think of punk rock the first person that immediately pops in my head is that of Norman Bates. I haven’t heard anymore about this remake actually moving forward (thank God) and while some people may be doubtful that it was ever really in the works I am inclined to believe this rumor just because of the bizarre nature and pure stupidity of it (plus I can see some studio head being 100% behind the idea).
4. Rob Zombie is Helming the Remake of C.H.U.D.
Even though I love Rob Zombie and have been a fan of his music for a long time I thought he made an utter mess out of Halloween when he remade it several years back, so I wasn’t overjoyed with the idea of him remaking C.H.U.D when the rumors about it started circulating online. I have always thought that the original was kick ass and figured that he would do a shitty job of remaking it (since he has such a boner for white trash folks for whatever reason I saw him replacing the homeless people who eventually turn into the Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers with these types of people). At one point Zombie eventually addressed the rumors, saying that he was never involved with the project and wasn’t going to be, and I (as well as people who loved the original film everywhere) breathed a collective sigh of relief.
3. Megan Fox and Lindsay Lohan are Both Interested in the Role of Carrie
I hate both of these chicks equally, so when a few websites reported that both were interested (and actually in the running) to play Carrie White in the second remake I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. Not only were both of them totally and completely wrong for the part when it came to the character’s physical appearance, but neither one of them can act worth a damn. Besides that, I really couldn’t see myself feeling any sympathy for Carrie if one of these two was playing the part, and I think that it just sounded like one of the worst casting ideas in movie history in general. Thankfully neither one of them landed the part and it went to Chloe Moretz as everyone is now aware of as the movie just hit theaters a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t seen it but I have read a lot of negative reviews for it, but as bad as some people have said that it turned out it could would have been a lot worse had Megan or Lindsay actually been cast at the lead (I can’t help but wonder what Stephen King would have thought if this rumor had become a reality).
2. Jason and Kelly Rowland’s Character from Freddy VS Jason are going to be romantically involved
There were a ton of rumors going around about Freddy vs. Jason for years before it actually came out. I heard that Tommy (the kid that actually killed Jason in part 4 and returned in part 6) was going to be the main character and was going to be played by Jason Bateman. Jason was going to speak at one point. Someone told me there was going to be a boxing match in Hell between Jason and Freddy with Satan as the referee (seriously folks, I couldn’t make this one up). As the rumors got more and more bizarre the one that I thought was the weirdest was that Jason and Kelly Rowland’s character Kia were going to be romantically involved somehow. What?!?? Was Jason going to buy her flowers and candy on their first date? How were they going to meet, on a Christian dating website? I know Jason is a big stud and all who is a real lady killer (Ha ha, get it because he kills ladies and all…oh, forget it), but I just couldn’t see this rumor being true. It wasn’t, and instead of a make out scene between the two Jason just killed her with his machete after she made a couple of homophobic remarks (which were supposedly totally ad libbed much to the screenwriters’ chagrin) toward Freddy.
1. FOX is Making a Made for Television Remake of The Exorcist starring Queen Latifah
I remember reading this one in Fangoria back in the day, and came close to having a heart attack because there were so many things wrong with the whole idea. For one, the movie never, ever needs to be remade as it is a classic and holds up very well for being 40 years old (it still scares the living piss out of me). For another, how in the hell (pun intended) could you do it as a made for TV miniseries like they were planning to do (I’m sure that the crucifix scene and all of Regan’s foul-mouthed comments would have been left out of this version, or at least watered down to the point that they were no longer effective or disturbing). Finally, Queen Latifah playing the part of Chris Macneil, the possessed girl’s mother? Whose idea was this? I have nothing against Latifah but can’t picture her in such an iconic role. This abomination has yet to surface and probably never will, so I don’t know if it was ever actually being discussed or something that the bored writers over at Fango made up just to freak people like me out.
There you have it guys. Let me know what you think as I love hearing back from you! Please feel free to share some horror rumors you have heard that didn’t come true as well!
Nic Cage is going to star in another remake of The Fly (and he is actually going to fly this time! Yipee!)
Syfy Channel is doing a sequel to The Thing as a miniseries
Quentin Tarantino is doing a Halloween sequel or prequel
Ben Affleck is going to be Batman…wait, that one’s actually real? You have to be kidding me!