Lake Victoria is usually a pretty quiet place until Spring Break when thousands of college kids go there to have a drunken blast. Unfortunately things are going to be a little different this year as an underwater tremor has released an army of vicious, prehistoric piranhas who gleefully devour anyone they come across. It’s up to Sheriff Forester (Elizabeth Shue) and seismic researcher Novak (Adam Scott) to stop them before they eat everyone unlucky enough to get in the water. This is going to be one Spring Break that people will talk about for years to come…if anyone is left alive to talk about it, that is.
Are you looking for a fun movie that is loaded with violence, gore, and nudity? Then get to the nearest theater and check out “Piranha 3D” as soon as you can. I had an absolute blast with it and thought that it pretty much ruled. I think that any horror fan (especially those who like the “evil animal” films) will love this movie. I was so into it that I really didn’t want it to end and was wanting more after the end credits had rolled. I very seldom actually go to the movies anymore (The last movie I went to see at the cinema was “The Watchmen” in April of 2009) but I am very glad I decided to go check out “Piranha 3D.” As a matter of fact I can’t remember the last time I had such a good time watching a movie at a theater.
I remember watching Joe Dante’s “Piranha” on network television when I was just a kid and I loved it. When I first heard about it being remade I wasn’t too happy as in general I hate remakes. I was ready to dismiss it completely until I heard that Alexandre Aja was directing it and that it really wasn’t being considered to be a remake of the original. I was curious about it and followed the news about it online for a while, but when I saw the trailer for it I knew that I had to see it as soon as it came out. I am glad that I went to see it because it kicked all sorts of ass and pretty much just blew me away.
Why did I like it so much? Well for starters there is a ton of gore in the movie. The piranhas are hard core little bastards and they really enjoy ripping people apart when they eat them. We are treated to countless scenes where people are eaten alive. Some people have their arms bitten off. Some have their legs bitten off. One poor bastard even has his penis eaten in a very cool scene. There is basically a thirty minute scene where all hell breaks loose and the piranhas are eating everyone in sight. In addition to people being eaten some are run over by boats (someone has his head squashed like a watermelon by a boat as he tries to get to safety), and one person has her scalp and face ripped off by the propeller of a boat in a very nasty and cool scene. We get a slew of gruesome deaths and we get our first one just a few minutes into the film. These fish don’t play around and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be in the water with them!
There is also an ample amount of female nudity as well. In addition to boobs, boobs, and more boobs we even get to see two women swim around (and make out) underwater for several moments, and believe me when I say that you see everything (I understand now why they had a hard time getting a R rating and had to cut some stuff out to keep it from being NC-17). It’s like every few seconds we see a topless woman and if you are into that sort of thing then this movie is for you. I can’t remember the last time I saw a movie that had this much nudity in it, and I loved it!
The cast kicks all sorts of ass and there is not one bad character anywhere to be found. Elizabeth Shue is great as the sheriff, Ving Rhames is excellent as the bad-ass deputy (who uses the propeller of a boat to kill the hell out of many, many piranhas), and Eli Roth rules as the Wet T-shirt contest host. Christopher Lloyd is good as the kooky Mr. Goodman who is an expert on prehistoric piranhas, and even though he has a very small part it was very cool to see Richard Dreyfuss (pretty much playing the part of Matt Hooper in a scene that gives several nods to “Jaws”). I think that my favorite character (Other than the very sexy Crystal and Danni) was the always cool Jerry O’Connell as the sleazy p*rn filmmaker Derrick. Derrick is such an over the top, slimy, skanky character that you can’t help but like him. It is obvious that O’Connell had a blast playing the part and I thought that he pretty much made the movie as he owned every scene that he was in. All in all I dug the characters from the movie and hated to see some of them get killed off.
The only downside to the movie was that some of the scenes from the trailer didn’t make it into the final cut. I don’t know if some of the scenes were cut due to time or content, but hopefully they will show up in the DVD version when it hits stores in a few months. I don’t want to give anything away (though I think that most people will figure it out for themselves like I did) but the trailer also actually gives away the ending of the movie as well. I don’t know why they felt the need to put this in the trailer as it actually takes away from the ending just a tad bit because I knew what was coming at the very end.
“Piranha 3D” was nothing short of awesome in my opinion. It had outrageous death scenes, blood, blood, blood and more blood, hot women (who liked to show off their bodies), and just a fun plot that had a nice 80’s feel to it. If you want to check out a great flick that is entertaining and just loads of fun in general then I highly recommend that you check out “Piranha 3D.”