Haunted Honeymoon

Film Review: Zombie Women of Satan (2009)

SYNOPSIS:

A group of traveling freak show performers and a rock star go to a secluded area to be interviewed for an Internet show. What they don’t know is that the interviewer’s father has been conducting bizarre experiments on a group of women. The women are soon turned into flesh eating zombies who then go about eating anyone they come across (and even each other). Will our “heroes” be able to survive the horror or are they destined to become lunch?

 REVIEW:

If you look this movie up online you will find many, many reviews that slam it. Most people online make it sound as if it is the worst movie every made and that there are no redeeming qualities about it at all. While it is far from what I would consider a good movie I don’t think it was as bad as most people made it out to be. Did I like it? No, not really, but I can think of several movies that are a lot worse than this one. “Zombie Women of Satan” is watchable (for the most part) but I don’t think I could ever sit through it again without a little help from several beers.

 “Zombie Women of Satan” is yet another example of a movie that just tries way too hard to be funny but never quite reaches its goal. The humor is pretty bad and they even resort to using a fart joke at one point (which goes on way too long and isn’t funny to begin with). They also threw a midget character into the mix (who is instrumental in the before mentioned fart joke scene) because I guess the filmmakers thought “Hey, let’s get a midget because everybody thinks they are funny as hell!” The movie is painfully unfunny most of the time though I suspect that some middle school kids may think that it is just hilarious. In my opinion it was just about as funny as your basic butter commercial. When you have a scene where a man is having sex with a female zombie and it is supposed to be funny you know you’re in trouble.

 In addition to being pretty much laugh free there are also a lot of things about the movie that just don’t make any sense. Why was Skye’s sister hanging out with the demented family? What exactly was the dad doing to the women and why did he feel the need to experiment on them anyway? Why was his horny wife chained to a wall for most of the film? Why were all the women all dressed alike and living in the crazy family’s house in the first place? I have no clue as to why any of these things were taking place as the filmmakers did a half ass job of explaining some of these things but ignore the others. Thankfully I just really didn’t care about what was going on in the first place so I wasn’t too broken up about not getting answers.

 Most of the characters are pretty bad as well. Johnny Dee Hellfire (Seymour Leon Mace)is annoying as hell and I couldn’t wait for him to get killed off so I wouldn’t have to watch him try to be Rob Zombie anymore. The same goes for Pervo the Clown who is pretty damn bad as well (Why did he feel the need to wear tassels on his ass cheeks and why did we have to see them several times?).  The entire Zander family is horrible and not a one of them adds anything positive to the movie. The only character I almost liked was Skye (Victoria Hopkins) but toward the end she started getting on my nerves as well.

 “Zombie Women of Satan” is quite bad but I wouldn’t go as far as to say it was the worst movie in the history of film like some of the people on the Internet would argue. I think that its biggest problem is that it just tries too hard to be wacky but it ends up just being silly and stupid. As bad as it was it was still better than any of the parodies that have been hitting theaters the last couple of years (such as train wrecks like “Meet the Spartans,”  “Epic Movie, “ and “Disaster Movie” just to name a few). I really wouldn’t recommend seeing the movie though unless you are just in the mood to watch something that is silly that you and a group of friends can make fun of all night.

Zombie Women of Satan (2009)

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About Todd Martin

Todd Martin grew up in Irvington, a small town in Kentucky. Thanks to his mother, father, and favorite uncle he started watching horror films at a very young age and has been a horror geek ever since. He is basically a walking encyclopedia of horror flicks (especially the 80’s slashers), comic books, and pro wrestling, and has been writing for the biggest majority of his life.

His first book, Nightmare Tales was published in 2006 and he has had several short stories published in several collections. He and his wife Trish published their book “The Gardener,” a horror novel that is a throwback to the slasher films of the 80’s in 2011 and he is working on a collection of short horror stories When he isn’t reviewing movies and books or doing interviews for Horrornews.net he has been known to act from time to time as he has appeared in a handful of low budget horror films. He also enjoys writing screenplays and enjoys making movies as well. He wrote the segment “Angel” which appeared in the 2004 film “Tales from the Grave 2: Happy Holidays!” which was produced and directed by Stephanie Beaton, and recently appeared in Tim Ritter’s film “Deadly Dares: Truth or Dare 4.”. He resides in Kentucky with his wife Trish, their cat Buffy, and their wiener dog, Cujo

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