Horror Gossip: 06.10.10

Hey creeps, I am out of my church of all that is unholy to bless you with some tasty tidbits of news that my acolytes have brought to me as their offerings. To keep themselves in “Bad” standing with the Saint they must provide me with these offerings. Some of them I share with you, my budding worshippers. Some of them…I keep. Let’s get started shall we?

Preacher

“Preacher” in the mind of the Saint was/is the greatest comic series ever written & why it hasn’t been produced when dreck like “Jonah Hex” not only gets produced but distributed is beyond whatever I hold holy (Not much).

There have been rumblings over the years the most recent being director Sam Mendes having something to do with it. And there have been so many actors rumored to be circling the part (Ben Affleck being the worst of them, but that was quite awhile ago). Now director Joe Carnahan ( The A-Team, Smokin’ Aces, Narc) wants to take the helm with John Cusack possibly taking the title role. Carnahan is the right guy for this project for sure in my mind but I’m not crazy about the Cusack rumor. But I do think Carnahan can bring the noise to Warren Ellis’ epic tale of Love, life, religion, vampirism & why God has to die…

David R. Ellis

 

Director David R. Ellis (The Final Destination, Snakes On A Plane) is a busy little bee as of late. He is slated to begin production on “Bad Luck” featuring Milla Jovovich soon.

The film is about a bunch of people who take superstitions lightly & the carnage that ensues because of their disregard. He is also slated to helm “Shark Night” in 3D as well as “War Monkeys” (Monkeys with guns)!! & of course..”Final Destination 5″ in 3D of course…The rumors going around that one are the initial disaster will take place on a suspension Bridge, sounds interesting…..

Fangoria magazine puts a videogame on It’s cover

Venerable magazine “Fangoria” (A favorite of The Saint’s) is featuring a videogame on it’s cover for the first time in it’s nearly 30 year history. The Saint feels it’s about time. The magazine has been featuring a “Horrorcade” column in it’s pages for the last year or so that reviews horror themed games so why not a cover? It’s of the upcoming redux of “SplatterHouse” a great game way back in the day. The Saint still plays the original on his (Black of course) Nintendo Wii. Here’s a look at the cover.

“Fright Night” remake.

Just when you thought there were no more 80’s horror films to ream, Hollywood has found one it forgot about…”Fright Night”. A justifiable classic of it’s era now it’s getting redone. But even The Saint has to admit that the casting sounds kinda cool…Colin Farrell (Daredevil) as Vampire Jerry Dandridge? Anton Yeltchin (Star Trek) as Charley Brewster? And it all takes place in Las Vegas as well? Coooool. Call the Saint intrigued by this one…..

“BeetleJuice” sequel?

Let it be said here & now that one of the Saint’s greatest sadnesses (as much as I enjoy being sad) comes from the fact that a sequel to “BeetleJuice” was never made.

The original still keeps me in stitches & is (In my all knowing opinion) Director Tim Burton’s best movie. Everything in that bitch just coalesced perfectly. The word is that Michael Keaton is keen to reprise his best role & Burton is actually interested in helming it but Geena Davis, who would have to be a part of it feels she has aged too much & since she is a ghost & they don’t age, doesn’t think she could participate. Keaton has aged as well but who could tell under all of that make up? Geena baby, That’s what special effects are for you dumb trollop so take the role & make the Saint (Un)Happy, OK?

“Rubber”

Apparently a film called “Rubber” is all the rage at Cannes this year. What’s it about? It’s about a discarded rubber tire that somehow gains intelligence & rolls around causing all kinds of havok….What the f*ck are they smokin’ in Cannes & how can the Saint get some? At least get me some of the stuff Director/Writer Quentin Dupieux was tokin’ on when he wrote it.

“Dexter” Season 5

Julie Benz will return in season 5 of Showtime’s serial killer drama “Dexter”. “How” you may ask? She was murdered at the end of season 4. They’re called flashbacks people. She will be returning in flashbacks all through the season.

“Mortal Kombat Rebirth”

There is no way that this is a student project as was initially reported by some. Not with this kind of production & star participation. Michael Jai White (Spawn) & Jeri Ryan (Star Trek: Next Generation) are featured in this short promo for what looks like what’s going to be a kick-ass movie. Not Horror…I know. But there are some severed heads & cannibalism in this promo so they apparently aren’t scared of pouring on the grue. The Saint is too pumped for this one. Check out the promo for it here.

Now comes the time where I have to berate all of you who did not listen to my orders last week & go to see Vincenzo Natali’s “Splice”. It was outgrossed by “Marmaduke” for Satan’s sake!! What is wrong with you people? Intelligent genre films like this HAVE to be supported by us or they just won’t get made. Period. We need Hollywood to continue to crank out movies of this caliber every so often & they have to be successful as well. It didn’t need a $20 million dollar weekend (Though that would have been nice). But it didn’t even crack $10 million. I’m SO upset with the lot of you who didn’t go. I will find you & punish you as promised last week…got my phone book in front of me right now looking for addresses. You were warned….

In more “Splice” related news, apparently there is a LOT of controversy going round about who actually designed the lovely creature “Dren”.

She is credited to a horde of craftsmen led by Howard Berger who is a master of his craft no doubt. But who actually came up with the concept of what she looked like?

No credit for anyone listed although Natali has (sort of) taken credit for her design. Falsehood! “Dren” was designed by Dan Oullette, a effects artist who works out of N.Y.C. right now. If you don’t believe the Saint have a look at his website here: http://www.neuroticadivine.com/.

Take a look around & see if you don’t agree. Apparently he made a deal with Mr. Natali & Producer Don Murphy to design her but never got it in writing. Is this possible in this day & age? I hope not. But all of this news has been suppressed by Mr.Murphy with a near religious fervor. What is he so scared of? The Saint has been trying to get an interview with Mr. Oullette for a while to get the true lowdown. As of yet unfortunately I have gotten no response from him. Perhaps he just wants to get it behind him & move on with his life. That’s fine but The Saint does not abide in thievery & that is what this situation is screaming to me right now. I will continue to pursue Mr. Oullette to find out more (Doesn’t he know who I am & what’s gonna happen to him if he doesn’t respond soon)? Oh well…sometimes people gotta find out the hard way.

That’s all for now my wretched acolytes. I will return soon to poison your young oh so malleable minds with news from the netherworld known as Hollywood or as one of the only people The Saint would bow down to, Forrest J. Ackerman called it “Horrorwood”. Until then…continue to pray. To me.

Horror Gossip: 06.10.10

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About The Black Saint

Those of you who don't know of The Black Saint & have yet to commit yourselves to him body, mind & soul will find yourselves in a most uncomfortable position when my army of acolytes is complete & ready to wreak havok upon this pitiful blue ball we live on. Oh, I really like horror movies as well & will take on all comers in a horror trivia contest. Bring it on!
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