Spring Break: Horror Style

Ah, it’s that time again. The heat of the sun beating down on your skin, the sound of laughter at every turn, water hitting the sand, blood curdling screams of young adults ringing through the air as they are chased down by psychotic killers, sharks, and crazed infections. Oh, spring break, thank goodness you have finally decided to grace us with your presence. This time of year allots for some good horror entertainment. It doesn’t have to be Halloween for us horror fans to have a grand ol’ time.

You can’t talk about this vacation event without mentioning the classic spring/summer movie that epitomizes spring break to the core. “Jaws,” may have premiered in 1975, but it resonates in today’s society just as it did back then. Unsuspecting victims still roam the beaches and swim out into the deep blue sea. Of course, no one pays attention to the dorsal fin that slowly surfaces and begins to make its way to the group of youngins’ splashing away.

No one ever thinks they’ll be shark bait while on vacation. It is that reason Mr. Great White Shark had free reign of the waters and endless meals to snack on back then. It is that reason that he still has free reign and endless meals. “Jaws” and spring break will forever be intertwined due to its premise and location.

Naturally, there have been other shark movies that have popped up since Steven Spielberg’s version. CBS aired the awesomely titled (not really) “Spring Break Shark Attack.” The title explains exactly what the movie is about. For obvious reasons, the movie does not have the finesse, creativity, and acting that “Jaws” did. But watching a shark eat people is always a fun way to kill some time. Am I right?

Perhaps you like to take your vacation on a beach in some remote location like an island or another country. No worries, there’s something for you too. “The Ruins” features young adults (as if you didn’t know) on vacation that end up trapped on a temple with flesh eating plants picking them off one by one. This is one of those movies that should be used as a cautionary instruction video for people who like to “explore” areas they shouldn’t. For some reason, people go on vacation and think that going into a deep jungle will only result in fun. Hello! I don’t think so.

If I’m on spring break, I am staying with the general population and sticking to areas with, oh I don’t know, people. Had the kids in this movie followed that rule, they’d be alive and not plant fertilizer. “Turistas” is another movie where young adults go on vacation and get caught in some black market organ stealing ring. Yes, you are on beach, relaxing and all but why in the world do you want to get lost in the jungle? I don’t know the answer to that question, but they did it anyway and most of them ended up dead. I reckon the thoughtless and reckless decisions of these kids are the reason these movies match up well with spring break. They are doing things normal vacationers do with a horror twist.

Beaches and islands not your thing? Well, you can always swap beaches for woods and hotels for cabins. Maybe the fresh air from trees, seeing Bambi frolic in the distance, and stumbling on Yogi the bear eating Bambi is more your thing. The quiet of the woods may be music to your ears. Eli Roth’s “Cabin Fever” may be more of your cup of tea. Five horny kids wanting to vacation in a cabin in the middle nowhere (boy, they do this a lot don’t they) simply looking for an outlet and a place with no rules. Things begin fine and dandy but a few sips of water later, skin is blotching and a girl is shaving her leg skin off. Ouch. That is something that will stay with me forever. It wasn’t their fault the water source nearby was tainted. But, had they paid more attention to their surroundings they’d still have skin sans flesh-eating infection. Who says you can’t have a horrific spring break camping with nature?

Oh spring break, why has thee forsaken all those young adults? You send forth demons from the water, possessed plants, human monsters, and a malevolent plague. So many lives taken…ah who am I kidding? Their horror is our pleasure. They make spring break for us horror buffs a whole lotta fun. So, to all spring breakers in horror movie land, keep swimming in shark infested waters, keep getting lost in unfamiliar territory, and keep camping out in the middle of nowhere. Your deaths will not be in vain.

Spring Break: Horror Style