In the Texas bayous, a local homicide detective teams up with a cop from New York City to investigate a series of unsolved murders.
LIFE SPOILERS AHEAD THERE IS A LOT OF BAD NEWS IN THIS REVIEW. And by bad news I mean remakes and sequels that you probably didnâ€™t want to know about.
The short version of the story is there is a serial killer in a small town in Texas and two cops go looking for himâ€¦ Exciting I know.
This is a film that is so down the middle Iâ€™d rather kind of not waste time talking about it. Iâ€™m not saying it was a bad movie by any means, in fact given a lot of the dreck that is out there itâ€™s a pretty decent filmâ€¦ if youâ€™re into â€ścop drama.â€ť Yet with my personal feelings towards authority itâ€™s hard for me to care what cops doâ€¦ And while this film might come off as a bit of a â€śserial killer filmâ€ť it ainâ€™tâ€¦ Or at least itâ€™s not on the â€śfun sideâ€ť of serial killer films and Iâ€™ll get to that in a minute. This review is going to be a â€śdoo-seaâ€¦â€ť however the film is not a do see, unless you have a choice between watching this film and say an Adam Sandler/Mike Myers filmâ€¦
Okay, at this point in time I think we can safely divide serial killer movies into two types of films, weâ€™ve got the â€ścop sideâ€ť and we got the â€śkiller side.â€ť Cop side are films like â€śSilence of Lambsâ€ť and â€śZodiacâ€ť and well thatâ€™s what pops into my head first, these are the movies that are about catching poor helpless serial killers and locking them away or killing them, I mean they are serial killers what have they done wrong? Then youâ€™ve got the serial killer side which are films like â€śHenry: Portrait of Serial Killerâ€ť â€“great film totally see it or â€śMonsterâ€ť â€“a film that doesnâ€™t really have the kind of hot lesbian action you would expect and despite Charlize Theron and Christina Ricci itâ€™s not hot at allâ€¦ But what these films have in common is they are from the point of view of the serial killer that is killer side. Serial killer films vary in accuracy but at the same time they are far creepier and more like horror films than the cop side films and the killer side movies are comparatively far more accurate as well, seriously think about it. Jodi Foster is playing an FBI agent yet how many f*cking doughnuts did you see her eat during â€śSilence of the Lambs?â€ť Not a one, sheâ€™s playing a federal agent and feds are like are like super cops, meaning they would need an excessive amount of doughnuts to sustain their super cop power and she doesnâ€™t eat a single f*cking doughnut in the entire film and you mean to tell that film is somehow realistic? OR watch â€śSevenâ€ť again the movie is total bullsh*t, I swear between Brad Pit and Morgan Freeman NOT A SINGLE PIECE OF FUCKING FIRED DOUGH IS EATEN! Not even a Jelly!
The â€ścop sideâ€ť of serial killer films are for me a tad more, well, I hate to say it but boring and the â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť is a perfect example of a â€ścop sideâ€ť serial killer film where no doughnuts are eaten.
Also the film claims to be based on a true story. Nothing bothers me more than when we as an audience are asked to care if a piece of FICTION is based on a true story, but I try watch a film merits on its own without itâ€™s tag lines getting in the way of the art. You know viewing a film as a potential thought provoking, emotional and entertaining experience, not as how it is sold to me. Or who cast in it, even if I really enjoy the actors.
I like Jeffery Dean Morgan, heâ€™s not a great actor but heâ€™s just very charismatic and he really paid his dues. Guy started acting in 1991 and didnâ€™t catch a real break till 2009 as far as his career goes, thatâ€™s 18 years of busting his ass as a nobody with sporadic one time roles on various TV shows in Hollywood till he got the role of â€śThe Comedianâ€ť in â€śThe Watchmen.â€ť And well, he makes the â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť more interesting to watch then if say Chris Hemsworth were in it. But on a sucky note, he loses some points with me because heâ€™s going to be in the upcoming â€śRed Dawnâ€ť remake, this time the propaganda will be aimed at North Koreans, cause I donâ€™t think Russia will be attacking anyone anytime soon. Well I think the other reason it will be about North Korea is cause if we pointed out that Chain is a bigger threat to us then the Chinese might not sell their slave labor goods to Walmart and that would really f*ck up our economyâ€¦
Not to get into the politics of the original â€śRed Dawnâ€ť or the fact that I just wrote a review about another propaganda film (and a really good one at that see my â€śThe Devilâ€™s Doubleâ€ť review) but there is NO reason for Red Dawn 1 or 2 to exist other than to dupe people into feeling patrioticâ€¦ I can give you a million reason to love America without seeing a movie about why we should hate communist. Itâ€™s the hate factor that bothers me. Then again I can give the same amount of reasons as to why you should love pepper jack cheeseâ€¦ And I hate to say it but the original â€śRed Dawnâ€ť is a good movieâ€¦ Even more fun it you get the Rifftrax of itâ€¦
But being that this review is just getting started I assure you the connections to upcoming Hollywood diarrhea are going to be huge because the other star of the is Sam Worthington, who is not just a hack of an actor and start of the upcoming â€śWrath of the Titansâ€ť and â€śAvatar 2: Electric Booguloo.â€ť Then again I really shouldnâ€™t say that he is a â€śhack,â€ť Worthington isnâ€™t a bad actor, heâ€™s just kind of â€śthere.â€ť You know like roads and sidewalks are just kind of there and they donâ€™t stand outâ€¦
Now I know Iâ€™ve wrote a lot about everything in the world here BUT the â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť but itâ€™s hard, because the movie is really just an extended episode o f â€śN.Y.P.D Blueâ€ť but shot in a Texas sort of wayâ€¦ I guess it might feel that way because the director of the film Ami Canaan Mann wrote not just a Nancy drew movie but also an episode of â€śN.Y.P.D. Blueâ€ť okay I must relent, â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť feel a bit more like â€śN.C.I.Sâ€ť or â€śCriminal Mindsâ€ť or â€śNash Bridgesâ€ť or just plain old â€śMagnum P.I.â€ť â€śMagnumâ€™s”Tom Selleck and Jeffery Dean Morgan both have tremendous mustache power, I really do have to note that. But I think Selleck owns it totally differentlyâ€¦
Now Ami Canaan Mann has a just a touch of nepotism being that her dad is Michael Mann, you know the guy who directed â€śThief,â€ť â€śManhunterâ€ť(–the first movie to have Hannibal Lecter in it,) â€śHeat,â€ť â€śAli,â€ť and was the executive producer on â€śMiami Viceâ€ť both the T.V. show and the director of the movie. So did dad pull strings? I have no f*cking clue, this movie is â€śjust another movieâ€ť itâ€™s not terribleâ€¦ Anyone could have directed it but this isnâ€™t the work of a total f*ck up given a budget and camera. Typcailly those people wind up as actors anywayâ€¦
Ultimately, this is a film that needed either a lot more sex, violence, depravity and gore or to just be more stylizedâ€¦ That is one thing that I will say about â€śPapa Mannâ€ť is you watch one of his films and you can tell who is directing itâ€¦ â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť could have been made by any director; there is no stamp of persona on it. I donâ€™t really care if a film is based on a true story or notâ€¦ But in this case they should have chosen a far more interesting story and to put a little bit of art into it.
So while writing this review every time I had to write the name â€śTexas Killing Fieldsâ€ť all I could think of was another famous â€śTexasâ€ť movie but it involves chainsawsâ€¦ Really the hardest part of writing this review was not comparing or referencing Leather Faceâ€¦ But I guess I just did.
Texas Killing Fields (2011)