Welcome back everyone. I hope you all enjoyed your weekend. Weâ€™re going to start the week off with something that scares the creeping f*ck of your good Professor; Snakes.
If your like me, than you find these soulless creatures to be no less than tools of the Dark Lord himself and their general evilness gets under your skin like a rogue splinter. Lets look at the facts:
They have fangs. This makes them scarier than creatures that donâ€™t.
A decent percentage has venom coming out of those fangs.
Some of that venom isnâ€™t at all good for your various systems and tissues.
Some can even spit that venom. How insane is that!?
Ones without venom are content to just crush you and or suffocate you. Awesome.
Even ones that arenâ€™t a threat are still pretty unnerving.
Some live in trees and water. Thereâ€™s no f*cking escape!
They swallow their prey whole!
They have no goddamn legs and they move like little nightmares.
They hiss â€“ thatâ€™s creepy.
Theyâ€™re clearly evil. Thatâ€™s not an opinion. So it counts as a fact.
And what about giant snakes? Conan fought a giant snake. Ice Cube threw down against one. Hell, even Harry Potter dispatched one of those bastards. Nobody likes snakes, nobody with a pure heart anyway. St. Patrick scared them all out of Ireland. Indiana Jones couldnâ€™t stand the little f*ckers. Daniel Larusso crane kicked the human karate incarnation of them square in the jaw. The Joeâ€™s shot blue laser beams at them. Jebediah Springfield bashed them with sticks. Thatâ€™s everyone cool that ever lived, and they all hated snakes.
So, to illustrate just how horrendously evil these creatures are, I present todayâ€™s madness. Because itâ€™s not enough to just show a crazy snake dealing out some pain. Even in death, these things arenâ€™t f*cking around. This video freaked me out. Bottom line.