“My Bloody Valentine” was originally released in 1981, and directed by George Mihalka.It was remade in 3D, and directed by Patrick Lussier, in 2009. Either version will get your blood pumping!The basic story is about miners who got trapped on the eve of the town’s Valentine’s Day dance.One of them resorted to cannibalism to survive, and went on a killing spree, years later after threats to the town, to not celebrate Valentine’s Day.The killer miner, even went as far as removing the hearts of his victims, with a Pickaxe, placing them in a nice heart shaped gift box. (Do I smell a Hallmark Cards moment) ?! Oh, I won’t be giving you flowers or sweets on February 14th.But, I will give you:
12 Bad Jokes About “My Bloody Valentine”!! (With love, of corpse!)
1) What do you get when you cross a Charlie Brown film and a horror film about Valentine’s Day?
Be My Bloody Valentine, Charlie Brown!
2) What do you get by having a tea named after Captain Bligh from “Mutiny on the Bounty”, crossed with “My Bloody Valentine”?
My “Bligh Tea” Valentine!
3) What horror film do you get by crossing a murderous miner and the “Orkin Man”?
“My Buggy Valentine”!
4) What Valentine’s horror film, has the drummer from Siouxsie & The Banshees?
“My ‘Budgie’ Valentine
5) What book like Hitler’s “Mein Kampf”, is the Killer miner planning to write?
6) What men’s cologne does the miner use?
“Pick-Axe” body spray!
7) What horror film do you get if your tee shirt gift on February 14th, has a “specific discolored stain”?
“My ‘Blot Tee’ Valentine”!
8) What horror film do you get, if you cross the 1st syllable of myspace, a British slang word, Jimmy Fallon’s last name, and the prong of a fork?
“My Bloody Fallon Tine”!
9) The Murdering Miner, was inspired by Carrot Top, a prop comic.So he took a freshly removed heart in each hand, smashed them together and said:
“What Robert Wagner tv show does that remind you of?
“Heart to Heart”!
10) What horror film do you get, by crossing a Carvel Ice Cream “whale character” cake with February 14th?
“My ‘Fudgie’ Valentine”!
11) Why did the murdering miner stuff a women in a clothes dryer?
He overheard her say”I wish I could go for a ‘spin’”!
12) What’s the Pickaxe murdering miner’s favorite Nirvana song?
“Heart Shaped Box”!
Well, there you have it! 12 deliciously awful jokes about a Valentine’s horror movie!I’d recommend telling Cupid some of these, if you see him about! Remember, there’s a bad joke just waiting to be written… See you next time!