Hello to all of my favorite fiends who slavishly scour Horrornews.net for whatever rumblings The Black Saint has been hearing here, there & everywhere! I have been a little busier than usual regarding my personal life. Nothing serious..just doing a little pruning of some dead weight (and I’m not talking about trees).
But all is well in my lovely mausoleum now. The spider webs are just right, the mold is growing at a wonderfully alarming rate & there’s enough activity of the four legged kind with tails on the ground to keep me company for decades to come. I hope that all of you, my acolytes, could feel as wonderful as I do now!
But enough of my comings & goings. You’re here for news, gossip & maybe an opinion or two. So let’s get right down to it, shall we?
I don’t know about all of you but I am SO not anxious for this (rumored to be) troubled production to be released. The “Scream” franchise started out like Ghostbusters with the first installment, had an ok 2nd entry & then the 3rd one which just plain sucked. Doesn’t it always seem to be the 3rd installments of most franchises that really f*ck things up? There have been exceptions of course, my favorite “Alien” film is the 3rd one.
But I know I’m in the minority there. But I did predict many moons ago that in time it would be held in greater regard than it was when first released & it is. “Day Of The Dead” was another 3rd installment that flopped badly upon initial release both critically & financially. It’s my favorite of the “Dead” films & now is held in a much higher regard. But “Scream 4″? Ehhh, I’m not so sure. One of it’s stars Hayden “Heroes” Panettierre poo-pooh’s the rumors about trouble on the set/script telling MTV News that “For an audience that is so well versed in “Scream” films & in what happens & who becomes the killer and everything it’s trickier to throw them a curveball, but I think they’ve done a really cool job with the script”. We shall see Hayden.
Director Bruce LaBruce who made the awfully bad “Otto; Or, Up With Dead People” is at it again with his latest opus, “L.A. Zombie” which is another zombie p*rn flick. Now while the saint has nothing against p*rn or homosexuality in general I also feel that the combination of p*rn & zombies just don’t mix well. And of course LaBruce insists on gay p*rn zombie films. Well this one has already been banned in Austrailia but it’s set to premiere at Switzerland’s Locarno Film Festival. Maybe if he threw in just a couple of chicks in there…
Set to premiere at Comic-Con the first footage from “The Goon” feature has been released. MTV showed the preview in which Clancy “The Bride” Brown voices the title character & Paul “Private Parts” Giamatti voices his handy sidekick Franky. The footage looks sick & I for on can’t wait for the release of this one.
Fangoria announces winner of Frightfest contest
It’s over & the votes have been counted! The winner of the Fangoria Frightfest is….”Dark House”! Written & Directed by Darin Scott (Tales From The Hood), Dark House stars genre vet Jeffrey Combs as Walston Rey who hires a group of young actors to begin working at an Haunted House attraction only to find out that the house may not need their help in scaring the sh*t out of people. As the winner of the contest the film will get a limited theatrical release From July 30th to August 5th at these theatres.
If you live anywhere nearby them please go see the film & show your support for all that’s gruesome! In NY it will be at The Cinema Village (22 E.12th Street (212)924-3364), In Texas it’s going to be at The Magnolia (West Village, 2699 Mckinney Avenue (214) 764-9106 & in California at the Opera Plaza Cinema (601 Van Ness Avenue (415) 267-4893) I should mention that the Texas screening will be held in Dallas & The California one will be in San Francisco. If you’re anywhere near these bijous go see the film.
Good or bad we have to support horror filmmakers the world over. I’ll be seeing it here in NY for sure. Did you guys vote? I hope so. I voted for “Pig Hunt” but to the victor goes the spoils. On August 6th all of the entries will be available through Blockbuster stores & digitally on Blockbuster On Demand for 45 days before heading out to national retailers & VOD on Sept. 28th.
“The Walking Dead” Motion Comic
AMC TV is getting their ducks in line for Comic-Con this year including this Motion Comic which was made available. It looks awesome!
“Saw 3D” Teaser Poster?
Lionsgate will unveil what could be the poster for “Saw 3D” at his years Comic-Con & it looks very…unnerving.
Little ditty bout’ “Jack & Diane”..
Kylie Minogue has signed on to play a heavily tattooed lesbian in the teen romance/horror film “Jack & Diane” reports the NY Post. The story follws two teenage girls Diane (Juno Temple) & Jack (Jena Malone) who forge a relationship together although Diane is struggling to hide the fact that her newly awakened sexual desires are giving her “Werewolf-like” visions. “Werewolf-like” visions? Wasn’t this done more than a few years ago with “Ginger Snaps”? Excepting for the fact that the girls were sisters?
“The Red Machine”
“Saw V’s” David Hackl is attached to direct the thriller “The Red Machine”. The script deals with two brothers on a camping trip who find themselves in a life or death struggle with a angry bear that apparently has no fear of humans. Been there..done that…Check out William Girdler’s 1976 classic “Grizzly” for one fearless mother-f*cking bear! The tagline read: “18 Feet Of Towering Fury”! It starred The late Christopher George & Richard Jaeckel and it is a doozy. Check it out for the final scene dealing with the bear’s comeuppance & you’ll know why it was dubbed “Jaws With Claws” way back when.
Producer Roy Lee has CONFIRMED that Tim Burton will be directing “Monsterpocalypse” for Dreamworks Pictures. The story deals with giant monsters who attack the Earth but when humans fight back the monsters burrow themselves into the ground & send a signal for more of their kind to arrive to help finish off humanity. Knowing that more monsters are on their way the humans build giant robots to battle the creatures if & when they return. This is all based on a game by Matt Wilson & it sounds like it’s gonna raise the roof when it gets released.
Sam Raimi updates…Wyatt Earp?
Sam Raimi is directing & producing a adaptation of “Earp: Saints For Sinners” for DreamWorks. The story is a re-imagining of the Wyatt Earp legend where he is taking on outlaws in a wasteland where the only major “Boomtown” left is Las Vegas”. I don’t know about you guys but it sounds a lot to me like “The Book Of Eli” without the bible. But it’s Raimi & that counts for something in my book. If it’s good enough for him to direct it, I’ll be there on opening day.
I want to offer a new feature to my column this week & see how it flies. I’m calling it “Horrible Homework (Or Movies You Must See)”. Every other week I’m going to suggest an old favorite of mines that I think you, my Acolytes might enjoy. You can of course offer comments to me on your assignments & don’t be afraid of not agreeing with me. It’s a free country…right? Well, if I say you should watch something…you probably should. Don’t wanna get on the Saint’s bad side now do you? Actually..I don’t think I have a good side so WATCH!!
Since there was some news about a new killer bear movie this week your assignment will be to track down 1976’s “Grizzly”. As I said earlier it was directed by the great William Girdler who died way too soon. He had such potential in him. In addition to Chris George & Richard Jaeckel it also starred Andrew Prine who was no slouch way back in the 70’s. Three under-rated actors, a good dirctor and an 18 ft. Grizzly Bear who’s really hungry? How can it miss? Well it doesn’t & it’s a lot of ridiculous fun. Even now I get a good giggle out of it when I see it. It should be readily available on Netflix & you have awhile before I check & see who’s been following directions from me so get to it & rent it out now. It’s a lot of fun.
Alas, now I have to leave & return to my mouldering mausoleum where I think the atmosphere is finally right for me to k…Actually it’s none of your business what I do in my Mausoleum. So with that said, Go to work (If you have jobs), pay your bills (on time), drink your milk every day (need that Calcium for your…bones) & as always, say your prayers every night…TO ME!!