Haunted Honeymoon

Horror Gossip: 04.23.2009

Most Anticipated Projects to Come:
Silent Night Zombie Night might be something worth while. I have been tired of all these zombie films blasting out of nowhere but this seems promising to me now. Earlier, not so much.

The films synopsis is: A week before Christmas a viral outbreak turns the citizens of Los Angeles into the feral undead. On the brink of breaking up with both his wife and partner, L.A.P.D. officer Frank Talbot finds himself trapped in a apartment with them. As death closes in they try not only to survive, but work around the fact both men love the same woman.

Moving onto Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell. I am so excited about this project I could slit my wrists with excitement!

In case you live under a rock the film is about Alison Lohman cursed by an old hag in Sam Raimi’s return to horror after spending almost the last decade swinging around New York with Spider-Man. Scripted by Raimi and his brother Ivan and co-starring Justin Long (Live Free or Die Hard, Jeepers Creepers), Dileep Rao and Lorna Raver.

The only downside to this film is that it is PG-13. Aww, there better be blood and someone better die.

Then there’s Jennifer’s Body. Uhm Meghan Fox is hot. I would do things to her butt. Diablo Cody’s script tells of a high school cheerleader named Jennifer Check (Megan Fox) who is sacrificed at the hands of a devil-worshiping rock band and inadvertently becomes the host of a demon. A demon that needs to feed on boys. Jennifer’s recently-acquired habits slowly dissolves her friendship with pal Needy (Amanda Seyfried) who realizes she’s the only one who can stop her hungry, and hot, best friend.

Not so Anticipated News:
In local news from the metal scene (I’m sure if you love horror you have to love metal) well anyway the metal club that I use to be the primary bartender for known as the Outlaw Drinking Club will be featuring what may be the biggest poser to ever hit the metal scene and that would be Mistress Juliya from the FUSE Channel. Oh my God. Not only is this a metal club full of posers but this woman is such a liar and a retarded whore it’s going to be one big poser fest. But if you’re into that sort of thing and love the fuse channel and nu metal then go ahead. Enjoy yourself.

She would introduce Cannibal Corpse with the horns and she isn’t known to like them. Corey from Slipknot hates her soooo bad. In fact, she has a pretty bad reputation and I can’t think of many metal bands that actually like her unless she is promoting their music or projects. She says the F word at least five times a sentence. I like to say the F word a lot too but I don’t throw it in there as often as possible just to look cool. She is very cute and f*ckable but that does nothing for her crappy personality and she has to be the dumbest babe in metal….like ever. Metal Sanaz, now that would be your girl. Mistress Juliya can go f*ck herself.

All the other topics that are not so anticipated are things you’ve all heard me scream about and that would be this horrid remake of
Nightmare on Elm Street mainly. Seriously, who is going to see this? Not only is Freddy Krueger NOT going to be in the film but it looks and sounds utterly retarded. I shant watch the film. If it gets sent to my house in the mail I will wipe it with my ass and send it back like I did with my Suicide Girls contract. You have no idea how this whole idea upsets me. Why do you need to do this? Why? And why is there going to be another Crow remake? For the life of me I can’t figure that one out. But I wont rant anymore about all the remakes that are upsetting me because I do that too often.

One project I wasn’t looking forward too that now isn’t going to happen (hooray) would be a sequel to the remake of My Bloody Valentine. Brian Collins writes in from a local horror convention where director Patrick Lussier confirms reports that Lionsgate has zero interest in making a sequel to My Bloody Valentine (review), their 3-D remake of the classic ’80’s film that hit theaters back in January. In addition, Lussier reveals that Axel Palmer (Kerr Smith) was the killer in the first draft of the screenplay and that there will be 30 minutes of deleted scenes and an alternate ending on the forthcoming DVD/Blu-ray release arriving in stores on May 19. Not really sure what to think about Halloween II.

The original one and two were classics and I watched the original Halloween the other day feeling anger towards Rob Zombie. *sigh* But I am going to see it because his views on the subject matter are interesting to me and well I will have a bath ready that way when I feel so dirty after watching it, cleanliness will be on my side. I would like to see his wife in more films other than his own. That would be something for me to anticipate over. She’s purty and I love how crazy she is when talking about Bettie Davis who is one of my favorite actresses of all time. But lets face it, Sherri Zombie is no Bettie Davis.

Halloween 2 Blog Updates: 
There have been so many recent updates for Halloween, I don’t even know where to begin. So lets recap shall we? Rob Zombie recently answered a question that comes up repeatedly. ” Why Halloween 2? You said you would never do another one!” He answered, “Well, that’s true. If I said it once I said it a million times. When I finished Halloween I was so f*cking burnt out that the thought of doing another seemed totally insane to me at the time. I was done. But after a year and a half break I started to think that maybe another one wasn’t such a bad idea. I love the characters and felt that I had only just scratched the surface of what could be done with them. The basic story was out of the way and now the series could go anywhere. Seeing the aftermath of Michael’s rampage through the eyes of Laurie and Loomis was very exciting to me.

So I came back and now we have a movie. Never say never.” Okay Rob, if you say so. I hate the name Rob but I f*cking LOVE Rob Zombie and his music. His movies aren’t quite as good as his music but you can’t say there isn’t anything there in his films. A sneak Peek was released on Entertainment Tonight and I’m sure you have all seen it already but in case you haven’t….

Another question that seem to have been asked quite a bit is about the mask. Their have been reports and rumors that he only wears the mask 25% of the time or not at all. Rob Zombie replied, “Well, the truth is the movie is just now being edited so the exact percentage of mask wearing is unclear at this point. But fear not, Michael is seen wearing the mask as much if not more than you’ve ever seen him wearing a mask in any Halloween film.” 

I think it’s awesome how much he has been updating on the film. You can find all kinds of pictures too! The last question would be, “Is this movie a remake of Halloween 2 ?” Rob replied saying, “The answer is no. This movie has nothing to do with the movie that came out back in 1981. The only thing slightly the same is my film has a brief hospital scene at the top of the film and even that is 100% different. These are all new characters and all new situations. This is not a remake of a sequel, this is the continuing story of the Halloween I started. So hopefully that clears up that confusion.” We will keep you updated on all the goodies so on and so on.

Television News:
There have been so many updates lately for HBO’s True Blood. My last column I filled you in on more gossip, pictures, and posters. If you go on the official site you can view set photos and all kinds of other cool sh*t. Last night I added the new teaser for it and if you haven’t seen it yet, you can watch it here below.

We also have Supernatural news for you too!
When Jim Beaver was asked about next year he had said, “I don’t know too much about next year. Or what they have planned for the show. There was some scuttlebutt on the set about the end of the series. But that often times doesn’t play out. I haven’t really heard anything definitive from the powers that be about the future of the show. I know that Bobby is back for the final three episodes of this season. There is some really strong stuff there were Dean and Bobby are trying to get Sam to kick his demon blood addiction. There is some really powerful stuff in the relationship between the three. As to how things wrap up? Well, when you are a character on Supernatural, you can get killed and come back. When you are an actor on it, and you spill too many beans, they can kill you and you don’t get to come back. There is only a little bit about what I can say in regards to how things wind down. It’s been such a trip being on this show.

It was very much under my own personal radar when I first joined it. It was just another job. I had no idea that it had the kind of fan support that it does. And that has certainly increased year by year. Boy, they have been so wonderful to me. After toiling in obscurity for many years, it is incredibly satisfying and gratifying to have the kind of fan support they managed to come up with on this show.” It seems that Bobby Singer will be present throughout the finale, but he’s not quite sure what is going to happen with season five. Here is what the popular character actor had to say about the series’ immediate future. The final four Supernatural season 4 episodes begin airing this Thursday at 9 pm, only on the CW. Bobby Singer makes his return in the April 30th episode The Rapture.

In less popular news:
I would like to talk about some projects that caught my eye. An anthology of original speculations, fantasies, and nightmares edited by Lane Adamson called Robots Beyond can be fund on amazon.com now. This genre-bending collection features Dave Dunwoody’s Harvest Cycle tie-in “Other Dreams.” Check out the neat picture for it below.

Something that really caught my eye was Viva La Muerte’s Hot and Heavy Burlesque! Viva La Muerte’s Hot & Heavy Burlesque is a heavy metal & horror burlesque show at it’s rowdiest. This is burlesque outside the box, Clad in leather and ready to rock! Come see some of Chicago’s premiere burlesque, gore and fetish performers as well as a select handful of dark artists for an unforgettable evening of tease and rock n’ roll excess!

Horror Comic Book News:
I know a lot of people keep requesting news on horror comics. I might not post it under daily news but I would like to keep a section set aside on my column each week giving you the latest. Recently I discussed the new Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash comic Written by Jeff Katz and James Kuhoric, art by Jason Craig, cover by Shane Davis. Something strange is happening in the halls of Project Black Book. The covert government group is unleashing creatures of mass destruction in their bid to gain control over the Necronomicon. And as the survivors of Freddy and Jason’s murder sprees congregate, the short-lived reunion is shattered by the violent arrival of Jason Voorhees. But when a mysterious stranger arrives to aid in the battle, Jason must confront the one man who has not only survived his murderous rampages but has also “killed him” in the past. Fan favorite Tommy Jarvis returns to finish what he started and see Jason Voorhees buried a final time! Then we have

Halloween: The First Death of Laurie Strode.
Halloween artist, Jeff Zornow stopped by and posted a cryptic message about Halloween: The First Death of Laurie Strode.The pictures depict Michael Myers sitting up and walking towards the viewer. The final image states: “The Shape Stalks again”. The series is described as:

As the only survivor of Michael Myers’ rampage through the small town of Haddonfield on Halloween night, 1978, Laurie Strode is haunted by the memories of her encounter with evil itself. To make things worse, she is convinced Michael Myers is still out there, ready to strike again– and the only person who believes her is Dr. Sam Loomis! Lastly, more Angel of course haha. Angel is more for adults but some people don’t take the time to figure it out. Angel #20 will arrive in stores on April 22 from IDW Publishing. The issue is written by Kelley Armstrong, with art by Dave Ross and covers by Gabriel Rodriguez and Nick Runge. Here’s how IDW describes the issue: “Angel’s attempts to return to normal have been upended by the cat-changer Dez. But who is she, and where does she come from? Find out here, even as a larger question — namely, who is Angel’s angelic visitor from beyond, and who sent him here? — comes to light. ” The images and art for this comic book is just fantastic folks. I mean fantastic!

Totally Kewl New News:
Constantine 2? When asked if Constantine 2 would happen, Producer, Lauren Shuler Donner, told SCI FI Wire that it “Looks very good. Thinking about it. Looking for a writer.” Based on the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer and written by Kevin Brodbin, Mark Bomback and Frank Capello, Constantine tells the story of irreverent supernatural detective John Constantine (Keanu Reeves), who has literally been to hell and back.

Updates By Me:
Just a friendly reminder. I am always adding news Monday, Tuesday, and Friday’s. I ALWAYS have cool sh*t to fill you in about. I sent in reviews for Vampire in Vegas (Tony Todd Vampire film that was hilarious and painful), The Bloody Ape was a terrible film but it has to be one of the most entertaining horror films I’ve seen in a long time. I could of done without the gross naked white trash girls that kept showing me their bush and titties. But read the review and watch the film. Then I sent in The Tribe. You can find those under the newly added reviews.

Coming up you can find reviews on; The Portal, Evil Dead Trap 2, Dead Ride, Nightmare Man, Birthrite, I Sell the Dead, and Bloody reunion. That’s all for now folks. One more week and two days till Texas Frightmare Weekend.

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